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Bridal Registery Do's and Don't's

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38 replies to this topic

#1 Brenners

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  • 807 posts

    Posted 14 February 2011 - 04:03 PM

    I have a silly problem but would like advice and guidance with it.  My FI and I are in our 30's, gainfully employed and have been for several years, and we have most items that people would need when just starting their lives together.  My FI and I do not want any gifts but all the feedback that I am receiving is that people will want to give gifts regardless - especially those unable to attend the wedding and who will instead attend the AHR.  I feel greedy for asking people to pay to come to Mexico for our wedding as well as get us a gift but there doesn't appear to be a way out of this.  I have suggested to people to give to charities in our name but they want to buy us something to keep and cherish as part of our wedding gifts for years to come.  Do I just give in and register and let people buy gifts if they choose to do so?  Like I said, it is a silly problem and certainly we can find things for which we could register, but it just feels strange to me.  Your help is greatly appreciated!

    #2 murphie310

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    • 30 posts

      Posted 14 February 2011 - 05:02 PM



      I had the exact same problem! My fiancĀ© and I told everyone that their presence is our present. We were not going to register anywhere because people coming to Mexico would be gift ehough.  We sent our invites out in November (for our October wedding) and have been hounded ever since with the "where are you registered" question.  People are not taking no for an answer!


      After talking it over with a few close friends and family members we finally broke down and registered at one store just the other day.  We are not sending out the information so the only way people can get it is from our website or asking the wedding party.  If people want to get you a gift that badly, enjoy their enthusiasm and let them.  And think about it this way, it works for your bridal shower as well. 


      Good luck!!! 

      #3 TammyWright


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      Posted 14 February 2011 - 05:30 PM

      have you thought of a honeymoon registry instead?


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      #4 beachesSB1412

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        Posted 14 February 2011 - 07:10 PM

        Tammy Host - I was going to recommend the exact sam thing.  My TA is going to set one of these up for me.  The one they use is you set up an online registry for things like spa services, floral upgrades, champagne to your room, candlelight dinner, excursions and then the registry company actually sends you a ck for 1/2 the amount paid by friends/family and then you get the other half when you return home is how I understood it so you can actually use the money as you choose.  This way if you never get to leaving the resort for the excursion purchased the money is still available to pay for other things like the outlandish price of the photo packages - lol.  I believe on some of the registeries you can customize them and only put things on there that interest you or that you would actually do.  

        I LOVE the idea!

        #5 skp1

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        • 405 posts

          Posted 16 February 2011 - 09:31 AM

          I am so against registering too as we don't need need anything.  But I too am getting hounded by people who want to give a gift (mostly those not attending).  I was almost on the verge of breaking down, but honestly I don't even know what to put on a registry.  So my new thing now is to just tell people to buy us something at the destination or for our honeymoon.  I don't want to do an official honeymoon registry but the same thing by word of mouth - spa treatment, dinners, excursions or just a resort credit or something.  We'll see how that works.

          Steph & John........Atlantis.......June 18, 2011......happily married

          #6 Brenners

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          • 807 posts

            Posted 16 February 2011 - 01:32 PM

            My sister is now going to throw a bridal shower for me so it appears out of my hands. Lol. So now to decide where to register and for what items. I guess it is a small concession for those unable to attend so I need to focus and pick my battles carefully. :rolleyes:

            #7 CanadianLindsey

            • Jr. Member
            • 284 posts

              Posted 16 February 2011 - 01:52 PM

              We stuck to our no shower, no gifts and no registry policy, but still ended up getting lots of post wedding gifts of money and gift cards.  It was so appreciated and so nice of our friends and family!  Makes me feel guilty, but love them all even more for being so generous and thoughtful!!

              #8 shan0487

              • Sr. Member
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              • LocationSt Louis, MO

              Posted 16 February 2011 - 02:24 PM

              a honeymoon registry is a great idea!! I will look into that!

              #9 Brenners

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              • 807 posts

                Posted 16 February 2011 - 04:04 PM

                I will need to look at Honeymoon registries and determine if that is the way to go for us.  Where and how do you do that???

                #10 Marlena

                • Jr. Member
                • 254 posts

                  Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:48 AM

                  I competely understand where you are coming from. We too are in our early 30's, own our house for 2 years etc, yet people ask where we are registered. I think I'm going to have to register someplace as my aunt is having a shower for us, and my colleagues at work too. (plus an engagement party)


                  I think I will be quite selective with the registry though. I can't stop people from buying us gifts, but I'm not registering for stuff like the kitchen aid 400 dollar stand mixer! (my cousin put a $2000 mattress set on her registry!!) I will go with simple stuff less than $100. (towels in colours I want, sheets)

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