did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

[ablj209]

I had the same thing! We invited everyone to both the DW and the AHR.  Approx 60 invites went out (100 guests).  Our wedding is one month today and we have 13 people booked.  Wedding party makes up for 6 people.  I bought enough OOT stuff to make up 20 bags figuring we'd have about 30 people come with us.  Most people are only coming to the AHR.  I'm okay with this, smaller party = less stress!  My biggest concern is the seating for guests ~ 6 of us standing at the front,  my parents on one side of the aisle and FI's family on the other.  There will be 5 of them which will make our seating arrangement a little lopsided. I'm sure we'll figure something out when we get there!

[PurpleUnicorn]

hey everyone.

 

thanks so much for all your replies!  you really helped me to gain a different perspective. although i haven't replied back for a few days, i have been reading and following everyone's replies.  I am thankful that my fiance's parents are now coming! it was up in the air for a bit. and we booked them yesterday!! yay!  so now we have 13 people booked including myself and my fiance.  i also have 3 other friends that are 99% coming (no one is 100% until they are booked!).  so i should have about 16 people total and i am totally happy and excited for a stress free wedding!   and the attitude i have now is that these are the people coming - anyone else is a bonus that i am not expecting....so no room for disappointment!

 

and i do agree about the dress thing.  i lost my perspective for a bit because i was so down about everything, but OF COURSE i want my awesome dress to have awesome wedding photos!  those are going on display for life!  having an awesome dress should not depend on number of guests!

 

ok, so someone mentioned banning together and sharing our plans.  well another bonus of a smaller wedding is that i can actually afford the private reception i wanted.  unfortunately i spent too  much on decorations because i was anticipating 30 people, but oh well, i will try to sell as much as i can after my wedding.

 

so i am having my ceremony on the beach with a canopy as the altar.  and i will make a aisle out of silk flower petals.  then we are having dinner indoors in the banquet room.  then this will be followed by a 2 hour bonfire on the beach! - with DJ and open bar and everything. i am super excited!

 

i would love to hear everyone else's plans.

[PurpleUnicorn]

oh, i do have a question that i wouldn't mind getting second opinions for!  

 

my private reception does come with a head table.  and then there are round tables that seat 8 people. i was thinking i don't need a head table as that would be silly to have one head table and then probably only one other regular table!  what do you think?  just do 2 regular round tables?

[CanadianLindsey]

We did our ceremony on the beach under a fabric draped gazebo and then had a cocktail hour at the poolside health bar and our reception under a palapa beside another pool.  We had 25 people total and just did 4 round tables with 5-8 people at each table.  No head table.  It was nice and intimate and this way we got to have our wedding party sit with us.

 

Also, for our ceremony, we set up 8 chairs on each side and didn't care who sat where.  This eliminated the unbalanced sides since my FI only had his parents and I had parents, granparents, cousins and siblings.

 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

oh, i do have a question that i wouldn't mind getting second opinions for!  

 

my private reception does come with a head table.  and then there are round tables that seat 8 people. i was thinking i don't need a head table as that would be silly to have one head table and then probably only one other regular table!  what do you think?  just do 2 regular round tables?

[Debs]

We had our tables in a U shape, so we were at the bottom of the U and everyone just sat wherever. That way we could see and talk with everyone. In the center of the U they had a little table set up with our cake. It was nice and intimate. Maybe if you have enough room that would work for you?

[PurpleUnicorn]

i definitely decided to forgo the head table.  i think even if i had 40 people, i wouldnt want a head table. i will do s few round tables and make sure there are empty seats at each table so i can take turns sitting with everyone!

 

i am getting super excited about everything now!

[JennW818]

I'm so glad I found this thread.  Reading all your stories has made me feel so much better about being in the same situation.  I originally assumed that we would have a very small wedding.  Much to my surprise, over 50 people responded that they were coming or told other friends that they were coming.  Now, with 3 months to go, only 2 couples have actually booked.  My booking close date is March 1st.  I'm sure that some of these people will wind up coming, but it's looking like my number will be closer to 20-25.  I'm completely fine with that and am extremely thankful that those people will be coming.  At the same time, I feel a little disappointed because I've spent so much time planning things around a big group.  I'm so confused what to do about my plans now.  Do I still get a DJ and dance floor for 20 people?  I feel like it will look silly. Can you still have a tradtional reception with that small of a group or is it just a private dinner? I'm honestly a little sad at this point.  We're not having an AHR and I really want to have all those special moments...the first dance, cake cutting, etc.  My bridal party is seriously going to be half of those attending!    I'm so confused now.

[merrylee]

It is so hard to "guess" how many people will truly end up going.  We are planning so far in advance, but everyone says it's such an awesome idea and of course they are going to be there.  I don't know if they will truly be there because they probably do not want to hurt our feelings so of course they are going to say yes to our faces.  I have to have the attitude that it will work out otherwise I think I might cry.

[~Nicole~]

 

 

Originally Posted by JennW818 

 

I'm so glad I found this thread.  Reading all your stories has made me feel so much better about being in the same situation.  I originally assumed that we would have a very small wedding.  Much to my surprise, over 50 people responded that they were coming or told other friends that they were coming.  Now, with 3 months to go, only 2 couples have actually booked.  My booking close date is March 1st.  I'm sure that some of these people will wind up coming, but it's looking like my number will be closer to 20-25.  I'm completely fine with that and am extremely thankful that those people will be coming.  At the same time, I feel a little disappointed because I've spent so much time planning things around a big group.  I'm so confused what to do about my plans now.  Do I still get a DJ and dance floor for 20 people?  I feel like it will look silly. Can you still have a tradtional reception with that small of a group or is it just a private dinner? I'm honestly a little sad at this point.  We're not having an AHR and I really want to have all those special moments...the first dance, cake cutting, etc.  My bridal party is seriously going to be half of those attending!    I'm so confused now.

 

 

Jenn, let me assure you that you can totally still have those special moments!!  All but 2 guests and a baby where in my wedding party, so I thought that would look so strange, but it worked out!  I wanted a first dance as well so we did it immediately after the ceremony since all the sound equipment was there.  I think the decision to get a DJ would depend on the group you have going.  If you want one, get one!  I didn't have an AHR either, so the small Mexico wedding was the extent of our celebration and I was in no way disappointed.  Seriously don't be down about it!!  It will still be as special as ever!!  Do whatever feels right to you

[acireta]

you know what's funny? my MOM is more upset than I am that more people haven't booked! LOL she's so cute.

 

We're SO far out at this point, but the only people booked are my FBIL (best man) and family (including our adorable little flower girl), my two bridesmaids, and my mom and stepdad! I love the little group that's booked and I keep telling her what an amazing vacation it's going to be with such an awesome little group. Seriously, the only people I really care about being there are going to be there! And we'll come home married and tanned, so whatever!