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#11 Monique

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    Posted 27 August 2010 - 07:01 AM

    I think that it's important that you two are on the same page...there is no way you can accommodate everyone.  I think making an effort to include his older brother would be very important to him or maybe you could have FI talk with his brother to see why he can't make it and see if he can change his plans to accommodate your wedding...you can also stress the importance of having a set date and how it helps make planning and thus his life much easier! 


    Good luck! 

    #12 Jessie

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    • 231 posts

      Posted 15 November 2010 - 10:07 PM

      One of the first things I had to get over when I started planning our DW was trying to accommodate everyone and make everyone happy.  It is just impossible.  We did everything we could to make it easy for our guests(set a date a year away and tried to make the location relatively easy to travel to and fairly economical), but at some point you have to make a plan and go with it. 


      However, if you haven't actually booked the date or haven't gotten far in the planning, it is probably at least worth talking to the brother and finding out why he can't come.  If he is being a PITA just to, then there is nothing you can do.  Some people you just can't please.  But if you can set another date that will allow him to come, it is definitely worth considering.  The people who truly want to be there will do whatever they have to do to be there.  People find a way to do what they want to do.


      Good luck!

      #13 karyan

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      • 184 posts

        Posted 16 November 2010 - 03:35 AM

        Hope your talk went well! I sent an email around to my important family members, and mentioned that we were interested in getting married in Hawaii and gave them a tentative time. In the end most said "great" or "we'll have to see" and I just picked a time that is reasonable for cheaper flights, hotels and a nice time of year. From that point on I let go of expectation and as long as the our parents were there i'd be happy. 


        I suspect the older bro will not come anyways if he didn't give an excuse the first time around, but always worthwhile to make it look like you're trying to accommodate the family. But once something is booked, it's up to them to pull their fingers out and attend.

        #14 MRR16

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        • 249 posts

          Posted 16 November 2010 - 09:17 AM

          I hope this all works out.

          #15 skp1

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          • 405 posts

            Posted 17 November 2010 - 06:31 AM

            Address this with your fiance for sure.  It sounds like this is a pretty common issue - we had to change our date once already too (about 10 family members on my fiance's side were attending a HS graduation our original weekend).  And that's after I did all the checking about school schedules, other friends wedding dates, pregnancy planning, holidays,etc.  You can make yourself crazy trying to accommodate everyone.  It IS your and your fiance's day and you have to do what you want.  And chances are you are the one doing all the planning so its a much bigger weight on your shoulders. My fiance was like "whats the big deal?"  Well, he's not the one who spent hours on the phone coordinating available dates with the resort, minister, etc.  he's also not the one who made all the STD and had to start over from scratch.  Only a bride understands.

            Steph & John........Atlantis.......June 18, 2011......happily married

            #16 Tessab123

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              Posted 29 November 2010 - 04:43 PM

              I would as well change it ONE last time but that is it!!! no more, it is your wedding and there will be more people after his older brother that will say they cant make it for whatever reason, so stop right there. as well maybe you should find out what his reason is?

              22 and counting + bride and groom! ROR JAMAICA MAY 25, 2011

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