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Invites to those who can't come?

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10 replies to this topic

#1 Meitra

  • Jr. Member
  • 249 posts

    Posted 23 July 2010 - 04:52 PM

    So I sent my STD's out in advance and have received a few emails from people who have already told me that they will not be able to attend. So my etiquette question is: Do I still send them an invitation to the wedding? I'm afraid it will look like I'm fishing for gifts if I do since they already told me they can't come; and on the other hand I'm afraid it will be rude if I don't send them one. What should I do
    Moon Dance Cliffs ---- Negril, Jamaica ---- December 4, 2010

    #2 DWBride615

    • Member
    • 852 posts

      Posted 23 July 2010 - 05:22 PM

      Well, personally I would send it to them. Since they won't be able to share the day with you, the invitation can serve as a little memento of sorts. You'll be surprised at how many people will keep those little things to heart when they can't make it for such a big celebration. My FI's family is from the UK, but he has a brother here in the states too. His brother will send his children's birthday party and all sorts of invitations to the family overseas even though he knows they won't go. The family keeps those invitations as little mementos of important days because they know they weren't able to show.

      Then again, those added invitations are extra cost, so if you can afford it, I would say send it anyway. However, if it'd be better for you to save the expense then I don't see an issue with you not sending them an invite if they already respectfully declined.

      Whatever you decide, I'm sure it'll be fine. =]
      *~*Chelsea & Eric*~* {{New wedding Date...Same Growing Love}} October 13, 2012 (Rome, Italy)

      #3 HazelsMelody

      • Jr. Member
      • 169 posts

        Posted 25 July 2010 - 08:33 AM

        I still sent all mine regardless of who said they're coming or not. I even had several family members on my fiancĀ©'s side who knew they were coming but told me not to send an invite to them... I dunno why, because it would save me the $2-$3 spent on theirs? I don't know.

        I did anyway. Besides, my invites had a little blurb about the reception at home, and information about our website.

        AND, I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into those invitations! If those people were on the guest list, coming or not, they were going to receive that invitation!! LOL
        Iberostar Varadero
        25 March 2011
        Bride & Groom and kids + 20 booked.

        #4 heartbeat

        • Jr. Member
        • 228 posts

          Posted 25 July 2010 - 09:12 AM

          I would still send them... I have a few family members who have told me that they will not be able to come but I'm still sending the invitations. I almost feel like if i didn't they would have something to say. They have already received STD and told me that they wont be coming.

          #5 Meitra

          • Jr. Member
          • 249 posts

            Posted 26 July 2010 - 12:14 AM

            Thanks for all the feedback everyone :) I have decided that I will go ahead and sends invitations to everyone I sent a STD to, even if they can't come.
            Moon Dance Cliffs ---- Negril, Jamaica ---- December 4, 2010

            #6 goodtoglow

            • Newbie
            • 110 posts

              Posted 27 July 2010 - 01:52 AM

              We sent out a lot of Save The Dates because we have large families and large groups of friends. We have 77 people coming but about 75-100 who are not. For those who have booked by the time we send out invites, they will get full invites/pocketfolds with vacation information. For those who have not booked, we will send them a mini invite that announces our day of marriage and invites them to the casual at-home reception we will have when we get home....

              #7 islandbride317

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,866 posts

                Posted 27 July 2010 - 02:06 AM

                Originally Posted by Meitra
                Thanks for all the feedback everyone :) I have decided that I will go ahead and sends invitations to everyone I sent a STD to, even if they can't come.
                YES, love...you've got the right idea!

                Send invites to EVERYONE, despite whether or not they've already indicated they may not attend -- it's just the courteous thing to do and then NO one can ever say in the future that you didn't try to include them in your celebration!

                (The cost for the invitations and the stamps, which I know are both expensive, are NOTHING compared to the craziness you might have to endure for relatives and friends NOT having received them, I assure you!)

                #8 BachataBride

                • Banned
                • 9,310 posts

                  Posted 27 July 2010 - 08:38 AM

                  I justified it by adding "reception to follow summer of 2009...details to follow"! It's a great excuse to send them to everyone!

                  #9 eunice.kindred

                  • Newbie
                  • 69 posts

                    Posted 28 July 2010 - 09:55 AM

                    i just mailed my invitations yesterday and included those who i already know they can't go.. like a few who posted already, people keep it as a keepsake and then yes, they can't ever say you didn't invite them!   I put alot of work into mine and wanted to share that with everyone too...

                    #10 lsjhik

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 157 posts

                      Posted 30 July 2010 - 07:43 AM

                      We are sending invites to everyone.  We are only inviting 100, and KNOW only about 40 will come, but still...it's a courtesy.  The invites were expensive and orignally we thought it would be better to send some people the "fancy" ones and some just plain (Vista Print) ones...but we changed our minds.  Didn't want people to see that other people got other invites, etc...3


                      I think people will appreciate the gesture of sending the invite...who knows, their situations could change too!

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