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soontobemrsdow

I know people aren't made of money

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I'm sooo glad I'm hearing all of your stories. To you girls who are getting great support and love from your friends and family congrats and I'm so happy for you all. For the rest of us girls what I don't understand is that they all b*itch and moan now but once we get down there and all is said and done we all know there going to praise us and go wow I'm so glad I came...it was such an amazing time and go home and tell everyone about how awsome it was.

 

For the most part I do just let it roll off my shoulders but yesterday I had talked to 5 different people who are invited and every single one of them complained and it just got to the point where it was like, is anybody happy for me?

 

I totally feel like what mrs price said is sooo right about people not taking dw seriously like their real weddings. My sister/moh is fighting with me to find an inexpensive bridemaids dress because "its not like its a real nice wedding or anything"

 

I guess some people just don't understand and they think you want to hear their money problems so you'll magically say "dont worry, I'll pay for you to come on down" Don't these people relaise that we know they're not made of money but neither are we, hense one of the reasons were doing a dw because it's less costly to us, but we still can have an amazing day.

 

I'm just really glad this place exists because I know you all understand and go through the same things that no one around us understands. you girls rock!

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Originally Posted by eholt View Post
Its amazing how many brides on here are experiencing this. People are rude. They want it to be about them. I make it a point to tell people that there is NO PRESSURe for them to be there. In other words...save your excuses and gripes for someone who cares! No hurt feelings over here! The only people that we insist are there are our parents. Everyone else...oh well!
Yep Yep! This is what I say, if you cant come I understand, no pressure for you to come! As long as my parents are there and my FI of course thats all I need! This is about us wanting to get married in a beautiful setting and having a vacation as well, so if you come you come if you dont you dont Im not gonna stress over it LOL!!

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Originally Posted by miss_delerium View Post
I know!!! That's what I keep saying...it's not $1500 just for a wedding...you get to spend a WEEK in sunny Mexico during the coldest month of the year!! Sheesh...quit complaining. I'll be thinking of you shoveling 10 feet of snow in -40 C while I'm on the beach!
Oh I love this! I think this is going to be my new phrase when people complain!

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Originally Posted by soontobemrsdow View Post
For the most part I do just let it roll off my shoulders but yesterday I had talked to 5 different people who are invited and every single one of them complained and it just got to the point where it was like, is anybody happy for me?
I KNOW! That's totally how I feel. Everyone is so fixated on themselves.

FI & I have been saying for the last two years that we would like a DW, so when we got engaged this May, my parents didn't even congratulate us!!! You could just see the "ugh..how much is this going to cost us to attend?" look on both their faces. (They're not contributing anything to the "wedding" portion; we're paying for all that ourselves). But that kinda hurt my feelings. Whatever...I've gotten over it. At least FI's family is super excited. I don't want "debbie-downers" there anyways!

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oh yeah...definitely. I've heard the excuses. I totally understand it is alot of money. But you can't save that much in 8 monthshuh.gif I'm getting married!!! But i'm ok with that. As long as my dad is there and his parents...I don't really care who doesn't go.

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Our situation is a little different in that we are getting married in a park in NY, so people aren't having to pay to stay at a resort or get a passport or anything. About half of our guests live within just a few hours of the park, and they are STILL COMPLAINING that it is costing too much. Yes, you may need to get a hotel room for a night or two and pay for gas, but I'm not asking you to shell out a ton of money.

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It's an invitation, not an obligation.

 

They can choose whether to attend or not! I understand that it is a lot of money and that not everyone can afford it but the comments to those planning the wedding are just unnecessary!

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Originally Posted by T&C View Post
It's an invitation, not an obligation.
Amen! Our response has been that we would love to have everyone join us, but if they are unable, then we understand and will see them at our home reception. I don't think people actually intend for their comments to be so hurtful, but maybe they should try smiling and nodding:)

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I totally agree I only care about my family which are my sisters, brother and mom and of course my FI and his mom and sister to be there. The people who get me pissed are the ones that arent even invited and are putting there opinions on MY wedding. Luckily most of guest can afford to go and have already booked. So the only people really pissing me off are the ones not invited or my FI friend's wives. And they seem to think that I need to take their planning tips. no thank you we all spent alot of money going to their weddings and give more than most people and even spent money on hotel stay when the wedding was a couple of hours away because they requested it. I mean the people complaining are the ones that are taking vacations all over the place and go wine tasting every weekend and spending god knows how much money. AHH they just piss me off but their husbands seem to have no problem with going to our wedding maybe we can just invite the husbands and not wives hmmmmm

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Bottom line -- the people that truly want to be there for your big day will find a way to do so. If people really can't make it, "I'm sorry, we'd love to be there, but we just won't be able to make it" should suffice. I don't need to know the exact reason! When a guest complains about the cost, it's just like saying to you, "You're so selfish!"

I agree with miss delerium -- it's not just $1600 for a wedding, it's for a week's vacation somewhere sunny and warm. That's exactly how our guests treated it. They planned it as their 2010 warm-weather vacay. Or, as my Mom put it, "It was a vacation that happened to have a wedding in the middle of it". Exactly!

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