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Being "considerate" to FI

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#1 cathyandchin

  • Jr. Member
  • 294 posts

    Posted 15 April 2010 - 10:56 PM

    I love him. I do. He is the kindest, sweetest, most laid back person on the earth!!
    But he's a little needy...
    I have gotten used to him always wanting my company for errands and asking my input on decisions, etc. I am very independent and I try to be more inclusive of him on things, especially the wedding planning.
    He actually likes this stuff, but sometimes I want to strangle him because his "help" is actually NO help!

    Me: Babe, what colors do you think we should go with?

    Him: Blue

    Me: What kind of blue? Blue and what?

    Him: mmm, i dunno. Light blue.

    *obviously someone hasn't seen that there a gazillion shades of blue under the sun and thusly a gazillion possible color combos

    Me: Babe, look what I've been working on!
    (I proudly show him a rough draft of a program for a ceremony)

    Him: What's this?

    Me: A program! What do you think? I'm still working on the wording for this ...blah blah blah... but what do you think?

    Him: It's fine.

    Me: I know it's "fine," that's why I'm showing it to you. But what do you THINK??

    Him: It's fine.

    or this one:

    Me: Babe, I'm picking up my dress tomorrow but I'm going to put it in the spare closet so no peeking, okay?!

    Him: Whatev, why not our closet?

    Me: Uhh, because there's not enough room...

    Him: Well, I dunno why you got such a big dress anyway when you knew we were getting married on the beach.

    Me: Babe, it's the one that I fell in love with. It called to me, I had to get it! Just make sure you don't look at it, okay?

    Him: Whatever...

    FML... I'd rather be doing this alone!! With his money, though.


    18 adults + 2 kids booked + bride and groom

    #2 Sita&Nate

    • Jr. Member
    • 349 posts

      Posted 16 April 2010 - 12:17 AM

      Hahaha! I have trained my FI to display a more appropriate level of interest in wedding things now. It took a while though

      #3 sungoddess_08

      • Member
      • 829 posts

        Posted 16 April 2010 - 02:54 PM

        I am really lucky -- FI has been incredibly helpful, and always offers input! I however, am not a detailed person so I've had to come to him with an idea, and he's helped me put it in place! haha...so I'm the opposite but I think most FI's are like yours. It's a guy thing!

        #4 cjb0arder13

        • Jr. Member
        • 310 posts

          Posted 16 April 2010 - 03:37 PM

          LOL!! Aren't they ridiculous sometimes??

          I asked my FI how involved he wanted to be in the wedding planning. He said "I did my job, the rest is up to you". Of course, by "his job" he meant proposing and giving me a ring :)

          So, I took him at his word, and didn't talk to him at all about what I'm planning. I sent out invitations last month, along with an informational letter, and our website link. A week ago or so, he comes up to me and says "We have a website?? Why didn't you tell me" So of course, I remind him that he said he didn't want to help plan, etc etc, and he says his friends thought it was hilarious that he didn't know we had a website.

          Men...can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!

          #5 Thomasjsgirl

          • Sr. Member
          • 1,098 posts

            Posted 16 April 2010 - 03:44 PM

            Ha! It's so typical! I soon learned not to give him too many options, because it was too much for him to process. For example, I narrowed down invitations or mugs and asked which ones he liked best -- that sort of thing. Where he proved to be invaluable was in the gophering, as in, "honey, while you're out today can you pick up the [INSERT WEDDING RELATED ITEM HERE]". He really helped save my sanity during the last few weeks of planning. As for colours, most just don't get the nuances in shades, and I don't think they ever will. Their brains are just wired differently from ours, lol!
            Lucy & Tom - Married 24.11.08
            Wedding Review - Dreams PC:
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            #6 jennypenny23

            • Jr. Member
            • 295 posts

              Posted 16 April 2010 - 03:44 PM

              I really honestly just LOL'd !!

              I have quite a few "FML moments" myself!!!!!!

              #7 mlabbe

              • Member
              • 784 posts

                Posted 16 April 2010 - 06:19 PM

                Sounds so typical! I get those kind of comments all the time...

                BTW, asking for colour combos can be a bad idea - I was told Blue and Silver, like the Cowboys' uniform. That got vetoed fast!

                My favourite though is when you ask their opinion, they says that they don't care, so you do what you want and bam! - they now have an opinion and care a whole lot. So frustrating!

                #8 Sapphire723

                • Member
                • 888 posts

                  Posted 17 April 2010 - 01:50 AM

                  Hahaha, you poor thing. My FI got very upset when one of my BMs told him that he didn't get a say in the bridal shower. He gave a big long speech about how it's OUR wedding and not just THE BRIDE'S wedding. I later explained to him that the BMs traditionally throw the shower, so they're usually the ones to decide the details.

                  But... even though he made such a big stink about getting to make decisions, I think he mostly just wants me to do the planning. I've found that by him saying that he wants input he really means that he wants me to do all of the leg work and then present him with three options for him to choose from.

                  And WHY don't guys understand that nobody wants their wedding to turn out just "Fine." We want it to be FABULOUS!

                  #9 mnh1983

                  • Member
                  • 743 posts

                    Posted 23 April 2010 - 08:37 AM

                    My fiance only cares about parts that are "interesting" such as the food and the band. I think he could care less about invitations or centerpieces.

                    #10 jodieP

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 278 posts

                      Posted 23 April 2010 - 08:58 AM

                      Yup limit the FI input , I had to when all i was getting met with 'what's that?' do we actually need that', 'I didn't even know that existed' LOL.. then he's a total groomzilla at times talking to the TA and resort I find it hysterical! So i put him on the phone to sort details and he threatens them with me ...a bridezilla according to him! Im anything but!

                      Just take deep breaths and keep going is what i say!!


                      24 Booked plus bride & groom

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