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Feeling Blue - Way too close for this!

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#1 Loveisintheair

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    Posted 21 January 2010 - 02:22 PM

    My FI and I have not been doing well lately. It seems everything that could happen has happened. I am not even sure anymore aboout the decision to get married. It has made wedding planning the pits because I don't have the motivation to do it. He has shown me a little of himself that I am sure I can accept. We are a little over a month away and now this happens.

    Just praying and asking God for direction. He is a good man and our relationship is not perfect but pretty good. We laugh, hang out, have fun and lenjoy each other but trust us becoming a concern.

    Just sharing.

    #2 Tifuhhknee

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      Posted 21 January 2010 - 02:26 PM

      I am sorry for whatever has made you second guess getting married. I hope that whatever has come between the two of you can be worked out. Follow your heart and do what you know is best. Sounds like it can only get better, try to stay optimistic. Good luck.
      Destination Wedding: April 21, 2011
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      #3 finleys7

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        Posted 21 January 2010 - 02:31 PM

        I am so sorry you have hit this bump in the road. Each and every situation is different and needs to be handled with care. It may sound silly, but do a pros and cons list...you may surprise yourself.

        Do what makes you happy and what will make you happy, a marriage is something special filled with love, commitment and most of all trust. I wish you the best and hope you can resolve your concerns.

        YEAH---We Did It! **May 1st, 2010**
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        #4 jplovesme

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          Posted 21 January 2010 - 02:45 PM

          Oh noo. I'm so sorry to hear that things have gotten tense lately, especially so close to the date. Just so you know, I've known a few brides that got into it with their fiances right before their weddings, and I know each couple has different issues, and life does throw a lot of crazy things at you --for a reason you'll see in time.

          I hope you are able to sort it out --- remember to do what makes YOU happy. I agree, make a list. But whatever happens, I wish you the best.

          #5 sungoddess_08

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            Posted 21 January 2010 - 03:08 PM

            I agree with all of the above posts -- it also may be nerves. Both of you could be jumping to conclusions, or lacking the motivation to communicate because it IS coming closer and you are nervous...it's a big step. Sometimes, nerves can be misjudged as "not going to work". I agree that a pros and cons list, and also a good sit-down talk with your FI will offer guidance in how you should proceed.

            My FI just got in a big argument last night, about our DW (budget, guests etc). We are perfectly fine -- but it shows that wedding planning is a stressful thing, that can fog our judgement.

            #6 Billisa

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              Posted 21 January 2010 - 03:38 PM

              I think most of us have moments of "what have i done" and second thoughts, but they do pass. If you are finding your moments are increasing though, and not going away, you may want to get this sorted out through counselling etc. before you get married. Or postpone the wedding, if you can?

              #7 Loveisintheair

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                Posted 21 January 2010 - 04:13 PM

                Thanks for the words of encouragement. We have been doing counseling but our minister had us take a break until right before the wedding. We were scheduled for one yeserday and my FI forgot so that did go well. AHHH!!!! It has just been difficult lately. We have on emore scheduled in two weeks to discuss the recent issues. It is just so close an it seems that things are falling apart. We have been together 5 years almost and been through almost everything so I figured we could stand the test of time but now it is just so unsuring.

                I will make the list tonight! Or even right now. Let you know how it goes. Thanks again everyone...

                #8 shellk

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                  Posted 21 January 2010 - 04:48 PM

                  i think you need to talk to him and sort it out.are you sure its not just the wedding getting on top of you?trust is a big thing.i hope you sort it out soon.you know where we are

                  #9 Sylvie143

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                  • 181 posts

                    Posted 21 January 2010 - 05:04 PM

                    Honey I'm sorry..

                    Listen, one thing i've learned out of my relationship is that communication is key and that's what's going to keep your relationship is strong. It's not easy, but if there are trust issues or any other issues floating around, you need to be open and honest about it and talk to him, and he needs to talk to you. Even though we are in relationships, sometimes we disconnect from our partner, usually due to stress and misscommunication.... we all once in a while need to step back and reconnect with our partner. and the suggestions about the pros and cons list is a fantastic suggestion, it's a very concrete way of weighing out your options and concerns.

                    Good luck and we are all here for you!

                    #10 Loveisintheair

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                      Posted 22 January 2010 - 11:40 AM

                      Thanks to everyone!!! I took the advice and we sat and talked. It was a little rough at first but it was well worth it. Oh and the list was good. Didn't get to write but sat and conjured up the good and bad and there is so much more good and great in our relationship than not so good. I really apreciate the supprt. So it is back to wedding planning!!!! Marriage preparation (which is really the important stuff).

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