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No bridesmaid or groomsmen by choice

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34 replies to this topic

#11 caribbeanLover

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    Posted 06 December 2009 - 11:19 PM

    When I got engaged we planned an in town wedding, and so I did pick and ask my girls if they would be BM and MOH. So when plans had changed for a DW I really don't want 3 BM/MOH and 3 GM standing up with us cause that means almost half our wedding party is standing up with us. But now I can't go back and ask them not to be, they even have their dress.
    To comment on the extra stress, it is very much so I have a one BM who says she is coming ,but spends her money on crazy stupid things and doesn't even have a cent saved for the trip. So I say no biggy, but do I or don't I buy a BM gift for her, do I plan an OOT bag for her? I just don't know!!
    So yes very much extra stress for nothing!!
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    Tracy and Mike

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    #12 purpleshells

    • Jr. Member
    • 338 posts

      Posted 07 December 2009 - 02:36 AM

      im super happy with my choice now :) feel relieved...esp because of the previous drama with the MOH who has decided to disapear off the face of the earth and the fiance whos friend he would have liked to have had as his BM cant make it...I had asked my cousin to be a bridesmaid but afterall the stress over it i told her nevermind...no wed party and shes cool with it...and im soo happy with this decision!!!

      #13 mrscheeze

      • Jr. Member
      • 160 posts

        Posted 07 December 2009 - 02:59 AM

        i have a MOH and he has a best man and thats all. some of my friends were a little hurt and my sister even told me she was but in the end its your choice. i think that if i had to pick bridesmaids there are too many people i would feel obligated to pick and feelings would end up getting hurt either way. my daughter is my MOH and even though i know she cant really help me with too much I think its the best decision ive made! good luck!

        #14 Outdoor_girl1010

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        • 657 posts

          Posted 07 December 2009 - 12:17 PM

          We were only going to have a MOH and a BM, but when my best friend got pregant I knew I wouldn't fill her spot. The BM was going to be my FI father, so it was no big deal because he is going to be there either way.
          Cory & Jennifer
          March 13, 2010Punta Cana D.R.!!http://i150.photobuc....3/IMG_6740.jpg

          #15 TonyandTricia

          • Jr. Member
          • 426 posts

            Posted 07 December 2009 - 02:12 PM

            As of right now we don't have any either. We just didn't want anyone to feel obligated to come and wanted to cut down on the stress that may come with that. We may each have one person stand up with us but we are waiting until everyone has booked and then probably just pick our family. I don't think we'll regret it. We've done everything else non-traditional, so why not this!

            #16 hat0112

            • Sr. Member
            • 1,219 posts

              Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:10 PM

              My FI and I aren’t having anyone stand with us. We didn’t want to pick a BM and a MOH so we just decided not too. We are also having a small wedding (less than 20) so we didn’t want a big bridal party.
              Wedding 10/22/10 Westin Aruba

              I love being a Mrs.!

              #17 *Nadine*

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              • 5,466 posts

                Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:24 PM

                I think with DW this is what alot of brides do. SInce there are not alot of people usually coming it makes it easier to just keep it simple with you and your hubby. Its not what Im doing (We are having 7 and 7 and we wouldnt have it any other way) but I know other girls it works for them!

                #18 simba1234

                • Jr. Member
                • 179 posts

                  Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:31 PM

                  This has been my BIGGEST stressor. I really didn't want a bridal party because I didn't have to choose between friends, siblings, cousins, etc.. I didn't want anyone to feel left out but I also didn't want a HUGE wedding party. I've never liked the idea of having 8 bridesmaids. I also didn't want to have to worry about picking out dresses, shoes, gifts, etc...

                  The problem is my FI went and asked 6 (yes, SIX) guys to be his groomsmen BEFORE he even proposed or gave me an engagement ring!!! So since he had not proposed yet, I never discussed my thoughts on a bridal party with him.

                  Now it's too late because he can't take back the invitation to be a GM but I don't want to have that many bridesmaids. So now I have to select 3 or 4 which is really TOUGH because I don't want to choose from all the ladies in my life. I really wish we didn't have to have a bridal party. At worse, I would've been happy with only a MOH & BM.

                  This has been so stressful that I am now 4 months away from my wedding and I've only selected my MOH.... I still haven't picked the other girls because I'm so stressed about having to choose between two people and making them feel like they're not iimportant enough.

                  I say GO FOR IT! If I did what you did, my life would be so much easier right now

                  #19 sweetiecat

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 186 posts

                    Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:47 AM

                    If you decide not to have a wedding party, but still want "honorary attendants," you could each ask a friend to sign the marriage certificate as witnesses and/or give a quick toast at your reception.

                    #20 islandbride317

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,866 posts

                      Posted 08 December 2009 - 01:03 AM

                      No Bridesmaids or Groomsmen for us either.....and I have YET to regret the decision!

                      Actually, I felt like it might be unfair to ask our nearest and dearest to be in our bridal party, especially if it would be a financial burden for them to join us in Jamaica AND pay for all the other things that come with being in the wedding, so we decided to spare everyone the guilt, as keep it simple!

                      Also, every time I watch a bridal show and there are these brides fighting with their bridesmaids, I breath a sigh of relief that that will not be ME!

                      No one seems to be offended in the slightest, and actually John and I are each asking one of our best friends to give a toast at our AHR, so they will still be highlighted as meaningful people in our lives in that way -- we feel it'll be a win-win in the end!

                      I say do what you feel is best, and you can't go wrong!

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