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giraffexx

Do I have to bring my future MIL dress shopping?

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There is no way I'd have my MIL come dress shopping with me. She has some very strong opinions, and somehow finds strange ways to criticize if she doesn't like it. When she doesnt get her way, she pouts and gets short with people. Like I need that on the day I find my dress! Her daughter was married about 10 years ago, so she was able to do all the "mother of the bride" thing once before. I am the only daughter, so this was something special for just me and my mom.

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I won't be sharing the experience with my FMIL. She hasn't hinted at anything, but if she does, I will have to break it to her.

For me, it's something I want to share with my mom, sister and best friend.

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I hadn't even thought about asking my MIL to come with us...it was just my mom and my sister who came.  I tried it on for her after the dress came in so at least she was a little involved.

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I wouldn't feel obligated to invite her at all.  My mom was not able to come with me with the exception of my first shopping experience (I knew I would not get my dress at the stores that we went to b/c it was my hometown and I live 5 hours from there) but the rest were actually better going myself or with one person...you can focus more on what YOU want and not be influenced into liking something else that they like.

 

Once I found my dress, ordered it, and it came in, I made an appointment for the weekend that my mom was in town, and invited my BM and my MIL (we actually were on the outs prior to the event but have been talking ever since!).  This was the first time anyone was seeing MY actual dress, including me, and that still made it special and in the end, she was really happy that she was invited and she actually thanked me!!!   

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I wouldn't feel obligated to invite her just because she is my FMIL. I am on ok terms with my FMIL but she is certifiably nuts. For example, one day she is ok with me, then 20 minutes later she is saying four letter words. I know this and part of the reason I did a DW was so she wouldn't be able to make it. I honestly believe if she was at my wedding she would ruin it. I don't if on purpose or not but I don't want our special day to be ruined by a person who was never a real mother to her son. My fiance is fine with it all since he knows how his "mother" is. A couple of years ago at his cousins wedding, she was so drunk she started to lick the ice sculpture.

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bizzyangel- Sounds like you made a great choice doing a DW!!!  How awful to have to worry about a woman who should have been everything to her son. Congrats on taking your own lives by the horns!

 

I am not inviting my FMIL for the search, I want my mom there and I have a bunch of friends who want to go and my FI nieces' want to go too... how do you break it to them all that it isn't something I want?? Especially the girls?

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I agree, I have a great relationship with my MIL, but I want this to be an experience with my mom. It's your special day and you should do whatever makes you comfortable. If her feelings get hurt, you can't help that, but I think you have a right to have who you want there.

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