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Do I have to bring my future MIL dress shopping?

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#1 giraffexx

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    Posted 23 November 2009 - 12:38 PM

    My future MIL hinted that she wants to come dress shopping with me. Do I have to include her in this? This something I really just want to do with my MOH and bridesmaid. My own mother most likely won't even be coming since she lives about 2 hours away. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I'm not sure of what the etiquette is for this situation.

    #2 ~*Kathy*~

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      Posted 23 November 2009 - 12:43 PM

      I don't know what the etiquette "rules" are on this but I didn't invite my MIL to go dress shopping with me. I think it's a very personal experience and that if you aren't comfortable having her there, then don't.

      Also, since your own mother won't be able to share this experience with you, I don't think it would be right to share it with your FMIL either...but that's just my opinion. I think my mom would be hurt if I had gone shopping with my FMIL and not her (my mom lives 3 hours away, so I know how you feel).

      Best of luck to you! :)

      #3 *Linds*

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        Posted 23 November 2009 - 12:51 PM

        Personally I did not invite her. She and I have a great relationship and I love her to death, but I wanted it to be something that just my mom and I did together.

        I went with just my mom, which was just how I wanted it. Right or wrong I gues...
        Loving married life! <3

        #4 classadiva

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          Posted 23 November 2009 - 01:16 PM

          Maybe you can invite her to "another" wedding dress shopping expedition if you are planning on doing more than one. This is what I am doing. For my very first shopping trip...only the people that are the closest to me are going. I have three other trips scheduled and have divided these trips among others that were sweet enough to want to go shopping with me. No hurt feelings...and I have my mother and those closest to me with me on my first and probably largest bridal shopping day. Just a thought.

          #5 IrishgirlinNY

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            Posted 23 November 2009 - 01:31 PM

            I think it depends on your relationship with her and her style. My FMIL is very opinionated and is never happy with anything. She has caused problems with the showers and weddings of my fiances two brothers who both got married in 2007 so they have both prewarned me of the experience. I do not plan on inviting her. I have my sister and my best friend to come. I lost my mom this past August and feel it will be hard enough to go through this experience as it is, yet have her there. Whatever makes you comfortable.

            #6 Vallarta_2009

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              Posted 23 November 2009 - 02:22 PM

              I agree with Classadiva, if you have a good relationship and are having multiple dress sessions then invite her to one of those. Or maybe only invite her to the first fitting if your close and then she'll still feel a part of the experience.

              #7 mich&adam

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                Posted 23 November 2009 - 02:29 PM

                Do you HAVE to invite her, absolutely not, but i personally don't see the big deal, but then again, my future MIL is so darn nice, i wouldn't mind either way. I ended up just bringing my mom, not knowing that i was going to end up buying and loving the 2nd dress i tried on. It would be a nice gesture on your part :)

                #8 autjo

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                  Posted 23 November 2009 - 02:46 PM

                  You don't "have" to invite her. I had a couple of different shopping trips with different people to get unbiased, uninterrupted opinions. I actually found the dress shopping by myself, but wanted the experience of sharing some of the fun with my mom, girlfriends, aunt and FMIL. I do love my FMIL and she only has boys so this is her only chance to go dress shopping with a daughter and she thought it was the nicest gesture that I invited her.

                  In all honesty do what makes you happy!! It's your dress and your day :o)

                  #9 shellk

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                    Posted 23 November 2009 - 05:24 PM

                    i dont know the rules either but what i did with moh and mum and sister was we all went shopping together then for alterations i took family then for final fitting will take moh again.i did think about fmil but she can wait i might just show his family when i get the dress as no family are coming with us.

                    just do what you want to do

                    #10 becks



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                    Posted 23 November 2009 - 05:34 PM

                    You absolutely should not feel obliged to invite her. Especially if your own mother isn't coming, and that is a perfectly reasonably explanation.

                    My mom lives on the west coast and there was no way that she was going to be able to go dress shopping with me. When my MIL asked if she could come (and, like you, I really didn't want her along), I simply told her that I thought it would be hurtful to my own mom if I went dress shopping with her, but I really appreciated her offer of support.

                    Good luck!

                    Happily married since 2008

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