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Guest assumes they can bring someone


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#41 carolina24

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    Posted 08 December 2009 - 06:37 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by classadiva
    Thank you for your comments. One thing I can say is that I was pretty confident in the decisions I made on this issue until I received some of the answers that I did here!! LOL You live and learn!! That's okay...would I do things differently...not sure...but I do recognize that this is not a cut and dry issue since so many others have thoughts on this different than what I was thinking.

    Luckily...so far...the two that asked to bring guests and were told no by me are rooming with other friends that are coming. One is still bringing her sister...knowing that she can't come to the wedding events.
    You should be confident, you have every right to feel what you are feeling! I agree that no one wants to go on vacation alone BUT there is no reason to pay for a "plus one" especially if the couple doesn't know them. On our website I included a Q&A section and put on there that only those named on the invitation where invited to the wedding events, my guests can chose to bring as many people as they want on their vacation, but those "plus #" will not be attending any events. I think this is a good compromise! It's not a free for all, it's YOUR wedding. Even if money was no issue, it's also about the intimacy of it. I don't want people who barely know us to "celebrate" our union. Stick to your guns!!

    #42 classadiva

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      Posted 08 December 2009 - 07:42 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by carolina24
      You should be confident, you have every right to feel what you are feeling! I agree that no one wants to go on vacation alone BUT there is no reason to pay for a "plus one" especially if the couple doesn't know them. On our website I included a Q&A section and put on there that only those named on the invitation where invited to the wedding events, my guests can chose to bring as many people as they want on their vacation, but those "plus #" will not be attending any events. I think this is a good compromise! It's not a free for all, it's YOUR wedding. Even if money was no issue, it's also about the intimacy of it. I don't want people who barely know us to "celebrate" our union. Stick to your guns!!
      Thank you...I am holding firm in my decision and intend to continue to do so. I think part of it is that I am someone whom likes to travel alone and have done so often. Having friends there that I know...I would not consider that to be travelling alone. Even when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding in Jamaica three years ago...I never asked if I could bring a guest. That's just me I guess....

      #43 Raykel

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        Posted 08 December 2009 - 10:11 PM

        I'm glad for you that you have made your decision and feel good about it. At the end of it all this is your day and I hope it goes fabulously for you!

        #44 lalanyc

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          Posted 10 December 2009 - 03:23 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by mrscheeze
          i only invited family and close friends and gave only people i wanted the TA info to book. well my TA emailed me a list of people who booked and there were 2 people on there i didnt even know! it turns out the were friends of my Fi aunt who were on a bowling league with her!!! to say the least i was pissed. i didnt even know these people enough to recognize their name and to top it of i had met them one and they were obnoxiously drunk and said something really innapropriate and rude to me! i have no idea how to hadle this situation and i feel bad because it has put my TA in an awkward situation as well. i think we have basically decided that we cant stop them from coming but they are not welcome at the wedding or reception
          OMG! I had to laugh b/c this is exactly what I'm worried about!!! I had various family members that had already EMAILED THEIR FRIENDS inviting them to our wedding w/ out my knowledge. Had to send a gentle but firmly worded email explaining the exact cost per guest and the fact that we have excluded our OWN FRIENDS from the invitee list!!! Needless to say, they had to uninvite their friends...

          Anyhow, I'm still worried some family will try to slip in some friends so I'm giving the hotel a list of all invited guests. ONLY they will be allowed to benefit from the group rate. Ack, I'm really hoping it doesn't come to this though! Unbelievable!

          #45 daniepps

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            Posted 14 December 2009 - 12:02 PM

            I really don't understand the nerve of some people! How do you just decide you're going to invite yourself or someone else to a wedding

            #46 jk1101

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              Posted 14 December 2009 - 12:43 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by daniepps
              I really don't understand the nerve of some people! How do you just decide you're going to invite yourself or someone else to a wedding
              I did not invite anyone single with guests. Almost all of my single friends know each other and told me right off that they were planning on rooming together. FI and I only wanted people that knew us at our wedding - no strangers unless they were part of a couple (my friend in Portland OR has been dating her boyfriend for a year - he's invited although we never met as they are across the country).

              Now his single friend has told him she is bringing her aunt. He knows her aunt pretty well and I have met her once. I'm so tired of being stressed out about little things...at least FI knows her...has been to her house...she seemed really happy for us when i met her...so I'm going to chalk this up to "things i cannot control"...and move on.

              #47 nicitica

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                Posted 14 December 2009 - 03:09 PM

                I feel the same way... i don't want randoms at our wedding. And I've mentioned to friends that I am trying to keep the number of guests down. but a few still think they are bringing dates! And what's frustrating is that 3 of them are not in relationships currently. Do they think they'll be in love and want to bring a guy down to mexico for a few days 6 months from now? That is crazy to me! I don't want to not include "and guest" on the invite for etiquette reasons, but i do NOT want them to bring a guest!! i hate this.
                Akumal, Mexico 05.29.10

                #48 classadiva

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                  Posted 15 December 2009 - 02:52 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by jerseykitten
                  I did not invite anyone single with guests. Almost all of my single friends know each other and told me right off that they were planning on rooming together. FI and I only wanted people that knew us at our wedding - no strangers unless they were part of a couple (my friend in Portland OR has been dating her boyfriend for a year - he's invited although we never met as they are across the country).

                  Now his single friend has told him she is bringing her aunt. He knows her aunt pretty well and I have met her once. I'm so tired of being stressed out about little things...at least FI knows her...has been to her house...she seemed really happy for us when i met her...so I'm going to chalk this up to "things i cannot control"...and move on.
                  Glad to see that I am not the only one with this strategy. This has been an unexpected stressful issue and the invites haven't even been sent out yet!!! Goodness knows what "surprises" await us down the road!! LOL

                  #49 Meitra

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                    Posted 21 January 2010 - 07:41 PM

                    Wow! I completely agree that only the named guests on the invitation should attend. That means if you are not named, you are not invited. My resort is reserving all the rooms for my guests until 6 months before the date. I think I will give them the guest list and tell them not to allow anyone to book a room that is not on it. I also think I will add something to our website in the RSVP area that says "Please do not bring guests that are not specifically named on your invitation as we want an intimate ceremony." Is this way too rude I also have the additional issue that I do not want anyone to bring their kids. If they can't make it without them, then don't come. Now how do I convey that?
                    Moon Dance Cliffs ---- Negril, Jamaica ---- December 4, 2010

                    #50 daniepps

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                      Posted 21 January 2010 - 07:49 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Meitra
                      Wow! I completely agree that only the named guests on the invitation should attend. That means if you are not named, you are not invited. My resort is reserving all the rooms for my guests until 6 months before the date. I think I will give them the guest list and tell them not to allow anyone to book a room that is not on it. I also think I will add something to our website in the RSVP area that says "Please do not bring guests that are not specifically named on your invitation as we want an intimate ceremony." Is this way too rude I also have the additional issue that I do not want anyone to bring their kids. If they can't make it without them, then don't come. Now how do I convey that?
                      I think if you put in the RSVP area that guests not named on the invitation aren't invited, people should assume that means children as well.




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