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Have people questioned your reason for doing a DW?

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#41 jennifer769405

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    Posted 23 November 2009 - 09:27 PM

    It is really unfortunate that you have to deal with that I've been pretty lucky so far...I actually expected a lot more of that, but to my surprise my uncle, who I am pretty close with, was the only one to give me a hard time and said that he wasn't going to make it before I even gave him any of the details!!! It wasn't until he learned that other family members were on board that he decided to book his flight. But my fiance and I knew that this is what we wanted to do so we were prepared to go alone if that ended up being the case! Now it's actually getting bigger than I had anticipated and I've outgrown my original reception space which leaves me searching for another one that can accommodate my group....yikes!

    I hope everything works out for you two! :)

    #42 Kelitaw

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    • 512 posts

      Posted 24 November 2009 - 01:23 PM

      My FI and I decided on a DW because we now live in TX and all of our friends/family live in MA. Almost everyone was on board right away - including my two brothers who will be bringing their 4 month old infants to Belize. FI's uncle decided to let us know how he felt this past summer at FI's bday party...after having a bottle of wine! that was not fun at all and I did everything I could to ignore him. He offered to bring his Elvis suit out of retirement if we had the wedding in MA. I told him if he could get Dave Matthews to perform at the wedding we'd talk :) Needless to say the wedding is still going to be in Belize.

      #43 carolina24

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,573 posts

        Posted 24 November 2009 - 01:56 PM

        We also had some people question it, but I said if they had $20,000 they could give us, we would gladly have it here! That always shuts them up. It's crazy how people feel like they can have an opinion a/b something that is so personal.

        #44 ursula

        • Jr. Member
        • 156 posts

          Posted 24 November 2009 - 03:39 PM

          almost all of our family and friends are excited about the DW. mostly everyone is looking at it like a vacation and a wedding. which is the way you hope people react to the idea. BUT of course there's always someone who thinks they need to tell you how they feel even though you did not ask for their negative feedback. My aunt was that person. After telling my family, we were all together at dinner, that our plan was to have a DW my aunt decided to go into a 5 minute rant about why she doesnt fly and that she thinks people who have DW's should pay for it - meaning pay for everyone that goes. after hearing that and knowing that she is definitly not going to come, i'm not even sending her an invite. and since my aunt loves to keep putting her foot in her mouth i just know thanksgiving dinner this year will be very interesting!

          #45 carolina24

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            Posted 24 November 2009 - 06:30 PM

            good luck on thursday!!

            #46 Pandabride6

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              Posted 25 November 2009 - 12:36 AM

              It's funny that I found this post... because it's funny how weddings can bring out the best and worst in ppl.

              I had my former MOH try to convince me to have a wedding at home so she could come (needless to say, she's not MOH now). I was extremely hurt and quite frankly pissed off. I thought she would be more supportive, even if she couldn't make it. But, mind you, one of my BM's is planning to travel from overseas (Germany) to be there for me.

              I mean, where a bride and groom choose to marry is up to them, especially if they're fronting the bill or most of it. I noticed that some ppl get offended when a couple decides to marry out of their hometown and then get mad at the couple if they (the guest) chooses to go. I'm sorry, but no one pulled your hair and dragged you out there (sorry about the analogy but it makes my point). To me, every wedding could be considered a DW for someone who doesn't live there. I feel like a good guest is someone who will support the couple even if they can or cannot attend.

              Also, hypothetically speaking... let's say you changed your plans to accommodate others at home and for whatever reason those ppl still couldn't or wouldn't come to the wedding. How would that make you feel? For that reason, We're doing it our way!
              Can't wait to honor our family roots... and establish new ones... Montego Bay, Jamaica, June 5, 2010

              The view overlooking Kingston... January 2009. One Love!!

              #47 midnight24

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                Posted 25 November 2009 - 03:49 AM

                well from the sounds of it you are not alone. we asked our parents before we got engaged if they would be ok with us having a DW. they said yes so we started the planning. about 3 months into the planning we had FI's dad say we should just elope and a few other people made comments along the way. so far only 6 of us are booked. both of our parents. the way i see it...it's our day this is how we wanted to get married. we invited everyone and if they come great...if they don't they miss a good time. we are having a AHR now even though we weren't planning on it originally. my parents were pushing for it more than his...so they are helping with the costs. my brother eloped 5yrs ago and never invited us so i kind of want my parents to get the full wedding experience too. one thing i've learned in the whole process is everyone has an opinion and everyone has something to complain about. do what is best for you....and have fun.

                #48 Ahand85

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                • 26 posts

                  Posted 06 December 2009 - 05:12 PM

                  Oh my gosh, I can't believe the nerve of some people!! I spent countless hours on designing and assembling our Boarding Pass Save the Dates and I was so proud of myself when I finished. Well, I just sent them out, and now I am being attacked from all angles about the price, it being out of the country, etc. The funny thing is, everyone on my side has been pretty excited, and the ones that can't come have been very courteous about it, but my FI's side (friends AND family) have started coming out of the woodwork with complaints! It seems like they love to have any excuse to tell you why they CAN'T come, and I woke up today to find THIS written on our wedding website:
                  "Jonathan and Allison, Jay and I would love to be at your wedding but since we are not among the "Rich and Famous" Ha Ha! we will not be able to afford to attend. You have chosen a beautiful place to have your wedding and know it will be a wonderful memory for the two of you. Jay and I are just so happy to be able to go to Panama City once a year. Just know that we will be thinking about you that day. Again I want to say how much fun we had at your parents and meeting all your family and friends and Allison's parents. That was a great day. Wish ya'll were just getting married there at that beautiful spot in the woods so we could witness the wedding. We love you, Prissy & Jay P.S. Thank you for the Boarding Pass Seat A-do you need it back?"
                  Are You Kidding ME!!!!! I am going to lose my mind having to deal with these people!! Of course when I read it to my FI he laughed so hard, but he couldn't believe anyone would actually write something SO completely tacky on our Wedding Website (which, by the way, I spent so much time and effort on and explained that we understood if people couldn't make it and will be having an AHR at home). I am literally at my wits end here! It is very comforting to know that I am not going through this alone!

                  #49 Tifuhhknee

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                    Posted 10 December 2009 - 12:46 PM

                    Allison, I am having the same flack from the future in laws. Found out that when one of my family's really close friends congratulated FI's MOTHER on our engagement and wedding in the future, her reply was "Thanks but we won't be able to go to the wedding." Right off. How about it's 18 months away, SAVE SOME MONEY and at least make an ATTEMPT?!! She's a control freak.

                    ANYWHO, about you, delete that terribly tacky post from your website! That is completely uncalled for. They just didn't have the balls to say anything to your face. How about they don't go to Panama City for about 2 years and go to your wedding with that money?? People are crazy. Those who REALLY want to be there will. All others.. well.. it's better that they aren't there to try and steal the spotlight of YOUR day. :o)
                    Destination Wedding: April 21, 2011
                    At Home Reception: May 7, 2011
                    25 guests + bride + groom booked

                    My Wedding Planning Notes

                    #50 Ahand85

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                    • 26 posts

                      Posted 10 December 2009 - 09:27 PM

                      Thanks! I thought the same thing, I mean, it's not like I'm springing this on people just a few months before! We've been talking about this for over a year now, that seems like plenty of time to prepare for this if you want to go, but who knows. I just want to scream, "Be happy for us! This is OUR wedding, not yours!!" This seems to be the most stressful part of the planning so far. I did delete the post, but I saved it in a word document on my computer just in case I needed to reference it later if they ever say anything else to me. lol. I'm sorry about your FI's mother making that comment. Geez, what is up with people??

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