Jump to content


The Ever Shrinking Guest List...It finally got to me!

  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#1 lil_reeves

  • Jr. Member
  • 237 posts

    Posted 11 September 2009 - 10:36 AM

    Hi All,

    I am just venting today...I finally went through my guest list and cleaned it up with a few RSVP's and I just broke down.

    I know most of you might think it's crazy, we have 28 RSVP's including us. It's just who is coming and who isn't that got to me. It's not the recession at all that's had an effect, it's just poor timing.

    Some of our best friends, and we only have a few close ones, can't make it because of very important things like:

    -Bought a new house
    -Had a Baby
    -Planning their own wedding next year
    -Family Member is very sick and not given much time(terrible news from one of our groomsmen)

    It just hurts that people we care so much about aren't going to be there. After all the planning and hard work I really wanted to share this with them.

    We've discussed having an AHR but it's just not in the budget for us.

    Anyhow I think I just need to be sad today and hopefully get over it quickly....Thanks for listening!

    #2 ~Nicole~

    • Sr. Member
    • 4,512 posts

      Posted 11 September 2009 - 10:43 AM

      Awww trust me, I feel for you. We had a serious decline in our guest list. We have a total of 7 people coming now. Yup, 7 that's it lol. So I can relate to how you're feeling. Its disappointing that we can't have everyone there that we want, but on your wedding day you're not going to notice they aren't there. I think in the end it just makes us cherish those that do come even more :). Having said that, we're all entitled to break downs every once in a while and that's totally normal too. But that's why we're all here... to support each other! Vent as much as you need to!
      *Formerly Nikki07*
      My Planning Thread

      #3 BachataBride

      • Banned
      • 9,310 posts

        Posted 11 September 2009 - 10:49 AM

        Awh Jenn!! I'm so sorry!!
        You are definitely NOT alone. I would say that 95% of DW couples do not have all the "important" people there. Personally, I had 23 people...and probably half of them I would have traded for people that I wish could have made it. I know that probably sounds terrible...I am really grateful that those people took the time, effort, and money to celebrate with us, I just wish other people would have as well. And a lot of my "important people" didnt even have the good excuses yours did!!
        Hang in there girl - you'll get through this. I'm not saying its not going to happen again! But just know that we are here for you to vent!

        #4 bholthof

        • Banned
        • 323 posts

          Posted 11 September 2009 - 11:11 AM

          I completely know where you're coming from... I know everyone says don't worry, the people who make it there will really show how much they care, and that those that don't make it will mostly still wish they were able to go - but its not much comfort when you really want them to be able to go.
          Hang in there ... at least you know they would be there if they could, and that they aren't giving some bogus excuse to not attend.
          21 people + Bride & Groom booked!!


          #5 ~Stephanie~

          • Sr. Member
          • 3,347 posts

            Posted 11 September 2009 - 11:19 AM

            I completely understand. We have only done STD's and invites still need to go out but verbally we only have about 15 people so far and some really important people to me won't be there, like my Dad. My FI doesn't have anyone from his family coming at this point, His brother and sister-in-law would rather spend their money on football tickets, even though my FI went to Vegas for their wedding....

            Hang in there, we all understand and are here when you need to vent and let it out!

            Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

            #6 *Karla*

            • Sr. Member
            • 4,854 posts

              Posted 11 September 2009 - 11:55 AM

              I think several of us can relate to you. Sometimes I think people get an invite, see it's a DW, and completely shut their minds to the idea. They automatically think it is too expensive without really checking into it...or at least that's what happened to me. We sent out over 60 invites and got 10 back saying yes. FI doesn't have any of his people coming except mom, dad, and sister. It does get frustrating at times, but you have to remeber you are getting ready to marry the love of your life, and that is the most important thing!

              #7 BahiaBride16

              • Newbie
              • 114 posts

                Posted 11 September 2009 - 11:56 AM

                I totally understand too! It's so sad that certain people that you want there the most won't be able to make it. As for us we have 24 people coming for sure, but some of the most important people to us will be missing like..

                - my FI dad and step mom
                - my FI sister and brother in law
                - my FI step dad
                - one of my sisters

                I'm just happy that the people who are coming will be there to support us and celebrate!! :-) Thats all you have to focus on! Maybe you could have a party at your house when you get home, in celebration of your wedding, doesn't have to be extravagent! Good luck

                #8 KRama

                • Jr. Member
                • 421 posts

                  Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:09 PM

                  I know everyone has kind words of "it'll be ok" and "you'll still have a great time" but bottom line is...that sucks. Of course you want everyone there! Unfortunately, everyone has their own thoughts, opinions, priorities and beliefs when it comes to weddings!

                  When we first got engaged, we tossed around the idea of a destination wedding to those that are closest to us and got nothing but fantastic responses. We've since sent out our save-the-dates (with estimated costs) and are still getting great replies. It'll be a whole different story I'm sure when the actual invites go out. It'll be interesting to see who was all talk. We know that the 10 most important people to us will be there, if they couldn't make it, we probably wouldn't even have a destination wedding! Anyone will will just be a great bonus!

                  #9 jajajaja

                  • VIP Member
                  • 9,794 posts

                    Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:13 PM

                    Aww. I'm sorry. However, speaking from experience, I only had 18 people go to my wedding. I had a TON of declines. I was bummed at first, but just know, it won't rain on your parade. Your wedding will be beautiful and the best time for everyone involved. When you get back, I'm sure there will be a lot of people that have the "shit, I wish I went" apologies. We got it a lot. It makes you feel validated. But the most important part, after you get back you could really care who was there because you had so much fun and you're on cloud 9. It's more their loss, than yours.
                    Happily married since 2008

                    #10 Boston Bride 2009

                    Boston Bride 2009
                    • Jr. Member
                    • 268 posts

                      Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:18 PM

                      We are in the same boat. The only family either of us will have with us is our parents and my brother. His brother is still trying to make it work but has lost his job. We do have 30 people going and it's all of our friends. However some of my DH's best friends can't go becasue they bought a house, trying to buy a house, 2 are going through fertility treatments. All great reasons but it is a little hard when you want them to be a part of your wedding. Funny enough there are people in my family that can afford to go who aren't going....booo to them

                      My mom knew how important our wedding was for my family (his family is all in DR) so she paid for us to have an actual ceremony/lunch boat cruise at home. I wasn't super fond of getting married for real here and then in DR but it meant so much to so many people that it was worth it. I'm the first grandchild on both sides of my family and both of my grandmothers aren't doing great (both grandfather's have passed) so it was wonderful for them.

                      You can do something at home to include the important people it doesn't have to be a big event. If you can fit in the the budget have you DW taped by a videographer and show it at the party.


                      0 user(s) are reading this topic

                      0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users