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FI's sister issue


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#1 Lady_Di

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    Posted 18 August 2009 - 05:11 PM

    Hey ladies!

    I'm pretty busy planning my DW in Playa De Carmen! woo woo...before this, I had no idea if we would even get married in Mexico due to his sister's issue.

    His sister and her husband are currently estranged and not living together. She had told him that she would need his signature for their daughter's passport and he told her he wouldn't sign it because he doesn't want her going to Mexico! How stupid is that! My FI told me that if the little girl can't get a passport then his sister won't come to our wedding since she won't leave her with him or anyone in his family. My FI told me that we had to have a wedding in our hometown. I got pretty upset because that was what we agreed on to have a destination wedding for a variety of reasons (budget is one of them). I did not want a traditional wedding at all. My mom and other loved ones told me I shouldn't let ONE person to ruin my dream wedding. I decided to set my foot down and told my FI. He finally warmed up to the idea and now he is excited about it.

    So we are going ahead with this wedding... I put deposit on the resort and stuff. He told his sister that we are having it and the ball is in her court. I just dont understand why she can't have her husband to sign it? Her answer was "he won't do it" I hope she finds a way to get him sign it! I don't think they will divorce anytime soon before May because of $$$.

    His mom was giving him a hard time about having a destination wedding and I don't think she is fully on the board yet. His brother is fully on the board. My parents are super excited for me.

    I am going to feel guilty if she ends up not going with her daughter. Any ideas how she can resolve this issue? I REALLY want her and the daughter to go. She has 9 more months to figure this out.

    #2 Outdoor_girl1010

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      Posted 18 August 2009 - 05:25 PM

      The only thing I can think is would be to go to court, becuase other wise the dad does have to sign for the little girl to get a passport. We all want everyone to be able to go, but not everyone is able to go. Don't let it ruin your day.
      Cory & Jennifer
      March 13, 2010Punta Cana D.R.!!http://i150.photobuc....3/IMG_6740.jpg

      #3 ebredhawk

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        Posted 18 August 2009 - 06:00 PM

        the mother of my FI's daughter is not allowing her to go either so i am famililar with the situation.

        for your FSIL, there is no way to force him to sign unless he comes to the conclusion on his own or she TRIES to go to court. even then, it depends on local laws and since they're still technically married i don't think there is much that they can do, plus it's a lot of $$$. i will keep my fingers crossed that he comes to his senses, but good for you with moving ahead. i know it feels horrible (trust me.. not having my future step daughter there is TERRIBLE!) but in the end it is your day.

        maybe you can find a fun way to incorporate her into an AHR?

        #4 itsfinallyhere

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          Posted 18 August 2009 - 08:27 PM

          How did FI get along with this guy? Could he or maybe one of the other male members of the family maybe go talk to him. Really anybody that could try to help that he related well to may be able to help hiim see the light. But other than that I have to agree with the other girls there is not much she can do but wait. Maybe oray too! Good luck.

          #5 Lady_Di

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            Posted 19 August 2009 - 10:00 AM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by itsfinallyhere
            How did FI get along with this guy? Could he or maybe one of the other male members of the family maybe go talk to him. Really anybody that could try to help that he related well to may be able to help hiim see the light. But other than that I have to agree with the other girls there is not much she can do but wait. Maybe oray too! Good luck.
            His family does not like him at all...so it's pretty much out of question for them to talk to him...however my guy said he will try and speak with the husband. I'm not sure if that will help. I told him to tell his sister to tell her sister or brother in law to help her out.

            Thanks guys...i just wanted to vent! It would be a lot of easier if people weren't acting stupid.

            #6 autjo

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              Posted 19 August 2009 - 12:15 PM

              Hi Di. People just get really dumb when it comes to weddings. I think I have posted that statement a million times this week!

              My brother was denied a passport and my parents have had to pay a ton of money to get it taken care of. Whatever happens with your situation will be for the best and you just have to remember that it is your wedding and about you and FI and no one else.

              Also, I saw some information that says any minor traveling in Mexico must carry notarized written permission from any parent or guardian not traveling with the child. So even if she gets the passport you should probably check and see what other requirements there might be to go to Mexico.
              Mexico

              Good luck!

              #7 Love3

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                Posted 19 August 2009 - 12:19 PM

                I was in the same position awhile ago. I had to get my lawyer to send the ass a letter to make him sign the passport papers or he would be going to court!!!
                ~Heather~

                #8 shellk

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                  Posted 19 August 2009 - 03:20 PM

                  sorry i think she just has to sit it out.she needs to explain to him how important it is for her to go the her brothers wedding and try to pull on the heart strings.i hope everything works out.

                  #9 Lady_Di

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                    Posted 24 August 2009 - 03:17 PM

                    My FI talked to her other day. He asked her about what's going on with her issue. She would always say same thing, "He won't do it". Sigh. looks like she's resigned to the fact he won't do it or she is not trying hard.

                    I told him that I'm willing to get married at the court and for her to be part of it before we leave to Mexico because there is NO way I am canceling this wedding. We already made deposits and etc. I bought my dress.

                    We'll see what happens.

                    #10 Lady_Di

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                      Posted 27 August 2009 - 12:18 PM

                      My FI went to his parents yesterday and his sister was there...she told him that she is not going to go to the wedding and was crying. She told him that her husband won't sign the papers because he thinks that FI's brother is going to kidnap the girl and take her to Australia (he is supposed to go to Australia for a year). He is just crazy.

                      She had the audacity to GET MAD at my FI for having a destination wedding. WTF is that? She asked him why are we having a destination wedding? Why not have it here at home? He had to stand up for us and explain to her again. This time his parents didn't join in the blaming game. His parents told him to take her husband if he really thinks that way.

                      It's just getting so stupid. I'm ready to get over with this!




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