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Shocked at my friends negativity!

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#1 karenk77

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    Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:55 PM

    I am like the 27 dresses girl..have been a maid of honor 3 times, and a bridesmaid about 6 times, and I am FAR from one of those girls that are all about their girlfriends, just so happened that I've been in so many wedding parties. Anyway, my fiance and I have finally set the date(last week) and although we havent sent anything out yet, waiting for my std's to arrive...we started calling people to let them know we had set the date and the responses that I am getting from my friends are like borderline nauseating, however my fiance's friends couldnt be happier. They are all coming, all have started calling us to tell us what arrangements they plan on making.
    Has anyone else experienced this female fiasco?

    #2 rodent


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      Posted 17 August 2009 - 06:10 PM

      I've also been in 9 weddings & only two of the girls came to mine. I didn't let it get to me. It's just not worth worrying about who is coming to a destination wedding or not. Just enjoy who is there.

      #3 Positanobride10

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        Posted 17 August 2009 - 06:22 PM

        Hi! Yes, a lot of my friends and even some family members displayed some negative behavior in the beginning. My fiance's friends which I do consider my friends have been nothing but supportive of what we want and have been helpful when we've asked for help.

        My fiance also reminded me that since I am the last of my girl friends to get married, they may be a little jealous because they did not do a destination wedding like we are. One of my girl friends who did do a destination wedding in Florida (we live in VA) has been really cool. I think she understands.

        Another reason for the negativity is that your friends may have a vision of what a wedding looks like and you may be going against their vision, which is fine. This is your wedding and your vision of how your day will go with your husband-to-be.

        I would suggest giving your friends some time. Get your save the dates ready and continue planning your day. Stick to your guns (I've had to do this with my mom especially) about what you want and do it. This day is about the celebration of the union between you and your fiance and nothing else. Your friends will come around, mine have, especially when they saw I wasn't going to change anything because they didn't like what I am doing. Good luck!

        #4 karenk77

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          Posted 17 August 2009 - 06:29 PM

          You're right and I know,its just dissapointing.

          #5 Jefiner

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            Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:07 PM

            I also just set my date only a week ago. Its been half and half with mixed responses. We have been engaged for a year, from the beginning we have told people that we are planning a destination wedding. Now that the date is set and the location is confirmed, we are getting more negative comments due to the amount of the trip. The trip is not until next summer so i am not letting it get to me. if they dont come, its there loss. I dont expect everyone to come, i knew that going in. i have to keep telling myself to let it go.

            #6 Jo 2010

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              Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:29 PM

              We had the same thing, mixed but mostly positive reactions from his friends and family, but mine were negative.

              We let eveyone know almost 12 months ago that we were having a destination wedding, and gave them 22 months notice with the save the dates.

              I think its one of the big things you have to decide before you choose a destination wedding - that if it ends up just being the two of you on a beach getting married - then thats OK. That was our starting point, so anything from there is a bonus.

              I know that there will be people that are dissapointed becasue they can't /won't come, but at the end of the day, the wedding is not for them!

              #7 karenk77

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                Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:46 PM

                Jefiner- with us its the exact same thing..weve been engaged over a yr and finally set the date last week too actually! So congrats!! The thing is my dream even before destination weddings became so trendy was to have it away on the beach, im talking like teenage yrs when people were dreaming of being cinderella I said not meee lol..so whoever knows me knows this..and so rather then being like wow finally your dream might come true everyone is complaining about something...but I am going to just ignore it...not the quantity of positivity but the quality.

                #8 karenk77

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                  Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:46 PM

                  where did you guys decide on having it?

                  #9 karenk77

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                    Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:47 PM

                    Jo- isnt that weird..only from the female side are we getting crap?

                    #10 cruisebride0410

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                      Posted 17 August 2009 - 08:02 PM

                      My mom actually had a lot of negativity when I told her what we were thinking for our destination, but with time she came around. I think the jealousy point is a good one - I have had a few people tell me they wish they would have been able to have it. Hopefully your girlfriends will come around ... if not, punish them by making them buy dresses like the ones in 27 Dresses!

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