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brandynd

Help! I think I hate my mother in law...

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Oh no, he knows she's got a few screws loose. He just doesn't want to be mean to her, she's the only parent he's got left, and he handles her with kid gloves.

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All I can say is...stop tip toeing around this chick.

 

She doesn't like you. Through no fault of YOURS that I can see, but even if it were your fault, she doesn't like you and that's that. Don't let it bother you, get to you, strain or depress you. And definitely do not let it impact your relationship because that is EXACTLY what she wants.

 

I'd have never booked the room for her. A thousand more than yours and it's YOUR wedding? Oh HELL no. As for her criticisms of your plans....tell her that it's your money and your wedding and therefore your dream fulfillment along with her son's. I'd even tack on something about being soooo very sad that she doesn't like whatever, but you two DO and since this is your trip down the aisle the only person you have to please is yourselves. I mean, she's not contributing a dime, and already dislikes you- in all honesty you have NOTHING to lose, so why stifle yourself? I get not wanting to upset your fiance, but HE knows how she is and there comes a point where he has to realize that theres only so much any one is going to take from someone who did not birth them. lol He tries to be nice to her because that's his mama. You do it for HIM and that's going to have a limit because nobody can tolerate this kind of treatment forever without snapping. I say snap in small doses that allow you to vent over time, instead of ending up doing it up BIG and offending him by saying some stuff out of sheer exhaustion with the situation.

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I am soo sorry about your situation! Hopefully she will calm down after the wedding - just hang in there!

 

Mods- I think we need a main thread about this, it sucks we all have so many issues!

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Okay ladies! I took some of your great advice. You would be so proud of me, you guys helped me get the nerve to say something to my FMIL from hell. Went out to lunch with FMIL and FI today, and FINALLY stood up for myself. She was going on and on about her distaste for my choice of wedding colors, bridesmaid dresses, resort, wedding package, and even our choice to have an AHR. After she got done ragging on that she started in about how we aren't being married in the Catholic church right away (we're having our vows blessed on our 1 year anniversary).

Finally I got fed up with it and said "I appreciate that you feel that way, but this is MY wedding. You already had your day....3 times if I'm not mistaken, and I will do things as I see fit. As far as you are concerned, I am the big cheese. If I need any help from you, believe me I'll ask, but I think I have things under control."

After that I told her that while Andrew did agree to pay for her trip, it is not acceptable that she has to have a trip that is more expensive than ours, and that after we left lunch I would be going to the travel agent to get her switched into a more economical category of room.

I don't think she knew what to do with herself. She kind of scoffed at me and looked incredibly puzzled for a minute. Then she just apologized and shut up....I've never felt so liberated.

So, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ladies! I don't think I would have had the gall to say anything to her without all of your unbiased opinions.

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Okay ladies! I took some of your great advice. You would be so proud of me, you guys helped me get the nerve to say something to my FMIL from hell. Went out to lunch with FMIL and FI today, and FINALLY stood up for myself. She was going on and on about her distaste for my choice of wedding colors, bridesmaid dresses, resort, wedding package, and even our choice to have an AHR. After she got done ragging on that she started in about how we aren't being married in the Catholic church right away (we're having our vows blessed on our 1 year anniversary).

Finally I got fed up with it and said "I appreciate that you feel that way, but this is MY wedding. You already had your day....3 times if I'm not mistaken, and I will do things as I see fit. As far as you are concerned, I am the big cheese. If I need any help from you, believe me I'll ask, but I think I have things under control."

After that I told her that while Andrew did agree to pay for her trip, it is not acceptable that she has to have a trip that is more expensive than ours, and that after we left lunch I would be going to the travel agent to get her switched into a more economical category of room.

I don't think she knew what to do with herself. She kind of scoffed at me and looked incredibly puzzled for a minute. Then she just apologized and shut up....I've never felt so liberated.

So, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ladies! I don't think I would have had the gall to say anything to her without all of your unbiased opinions.

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Congrats for standing up for yourself Brandy. I hope you learned a great lesson! You shouldn't have to take your FMIL's disrespectful shit just cause she's your FI's mama. You certainly DO have to be respectful of their relationship, but there is no reason that you have to feel like you can't speak your mind if needed. If you didn't stand up to her, she would continue to walk all over you.

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Right on!! I'm proud of you. I'm in a similar situation and that REALLY gives me some encouragment to stand up for myself too.

So awesome :)

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Good for you!!! I am really proud of you for standing up for yourself like that!!! Perhaps your FMIL thought she could talk to you any way she wanted because you never said anything in the past and now that you have, she has realized she cannot take advantage of you that way and will back off. What is it with some MIL's always thinking no girl is ever good enough for their precious son... pathetic.... If it were me, I'd prob convince the FI to move FAR FAR away lol... I wish you all the best in the future and I hope your FMIL realizes what a great girl you are :)

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