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Help with FI's spending

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#1 ~*Lisa*~

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    Posted 10 June 2009 - 01:57 PM

    So I'm a saver and he likes to spend. Not on big items, but things like coffee, stupid things at corner stores, etc. It all adds up in a month! So anyway, he owes enough with school loans and we're saving for the wedding but I just can't seem to get through to him to stop spending money and stupid stuff.

    Any ideas, suggestions without having to take away his debit/credit cards and give him an allowance? lol I would LOVE to do that, but obviously it's not right!

    #2 JoLo908

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      Posted 10 June 2009 - 02:02 PM

      Hey Lisaloo, I am always running into you here, because BDW is my escape! I should be getting ready for work or cleaning.... Anyway... FI and I are trying to find random ways of saving. Biggest ones? Making our own lunches and bringing them to work/ eating at home as much as possible. This saves SO much money,,, and the coffee thing? Have him make coffee at home, and then maybe once a week treat himself to a coffee out at Starbucks or wherever. Totally saves like $20 a week or more, depending on the person. We are trying to get better about these things, it is difficult. I have college loans too, and we want to come out of the wedding with a clean slate. Good luck!!! You guys can do it, we are trying too!!!

      #3 Kristy!


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        Posted 10 June 2009 - 02:11 PM

        I would have him write everything down that he spends in a day and collect the paper at the end of the day. Don't let him see these pages again until the end of the month when you total it up. He will probably be shocked at how much coffee and not refilling water bottles at the water cooler costs. I would do your own sheets as well so he doesn't feel ilke he's being singles out. Sometimes having a visual of how much money is being wasted can really help.

        #4 ebredhawk

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          Posted 10 June 2009 - 02:47 PM

          we had to do almost EXACTLY what kristy described! in the midst of wedding and honeymoon planning FI was finishing a custody battle for his daughter (they were never married and didn't establish anything when she was born.. DUMB.. but i digress...) and lawyers are not cheap! he'd go get his tattoos worked on or go buy dvds and it really started to add up.

          we made up a chart and put it on our fridge and each day wrote down what we bought and tried to give ourselves a weekly limit. making our own lunches (as JoLo suggested) and getting Netflix (as opposed to just buying dvds) has helped considerably. we've been doing it 3 months now and it has saved us at least $200 on our credit card each month! i think it's all about keep each other accountable and not putting him on the defensive. if you keep track of what you spend too, he'll probably be more willing to give it a shot.

          #5 jajajaja

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            Posted 10 June 2009 - 02:56 PM

            OMG- you explained my DH to a T! That dude spends his money on little shit all the time- bottled water, energy drinks, protein bars. Every day he goes into a convenience store and comes out with a damn bag full of this shit. I try to explain that it adds up. $5 a day= $150 a month!!! I've tried encouraging him to keep receipts and keep track. Or hell, give me the receipts and let me keep track. It's an on going battle. UGH!!!

            So anyways, back to you. Just wanted to let you know I'm feeling it. What we did was set up a goal to put $100-$200 (or something like that) to our wedding budget each month. We had (and still do!) separate accounts so we were saving about $200-$400 a month for a year. He did it- I think some months he did have to cut down on his frivulous spending, but now that we no longer have a wedding to save for, I'm back fighting for him to save at least a little bit each month.
            Happily married since 2008

            #6 ~*Lisa*~

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              Posted 10 June 2009 - 03:35 PM

              MEN!!!!!!!!! That's all I have time to say right now as I'm at work - more to come later! lol

              #7 sperger

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                Posted 10 June 2009 - 03:52 PM

                My FI does the SAME thing - Literally, we went to 7-11 last night to buy bottled waters and a diet snapple for me.
                We are going to set up a joint account when we are married that will definitely have online access, so we can both monitor it and I can say, look at this, was anything on here vital!?
                IMO, the funds he wastes on these little things can go towards the wedding!

                #8 EDSROSA

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                  Posted 10 June 2009 - 05:25 PM

                  My FI was the same way!!! He would not only spend $$ on lunch and breakfast but he was giving away about $200.00 in ATM fees. He works in Manhattan and for those who dont know you always pay more for food even McDonalds in the city than you would in the other boroughs! And like you I was the total opposite! I HATE paying ATM fees! So one day I sat him down and I explained to him how much we can save if he was just a little more careful. I had to take baby steps with him, I started by having him withdraw a $100 dollars every week (w/o paying fees) and he started realizing that he really was throwing $ away stupidly by paying fees. The first month he had an extra $150 left! Then came the hard part, limiting how much he spends on lunch and breakfast. I started making him lunch and breakfast 2 days a week, then 3 now I am up to 4-5 days a week and he couldn't be happier! Now I created a monster!!!! (But I live it LOL). Try doing a spreadsheet and show him how much he can save by cutting back on certain things. Good Luck!! Let us know how its going!

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