Who Should Pay for the Day Passes?
Posted 30 May 2007 - 01:37 AM
Posted 30 May 2007 - 08:46 AM
Posted 30 May 2007 - 02:29 PM
The way that FI and I look at it is this: we are going to get married in this resort, and this is the cost. We want as many people who can come, to come. We hope to spend the time at the resort celebrating all of our different family bonds or friend bonds. We did not even give an option to stay at another resort. We would completely understand if some of the individuals can't afford the cost and thus can't come (and appreciate them even considering to come). However, if a couple decides they are going to come, but at a cheaper resort - that's fine too, but I think they are the ones who should be calculating into their budget the extra expense of not staying at the resort in making the decision to come.
We are not demanding or even asking people to come. We are simply extending the invitation to join us. If individuals would like to come, but decide they don't want to stay at the same resort as us, and thus effectively not spend the week or time with us - that's fine. But in my opinion, I don't think it is necessairly fair then to ask the bride and groom to pay for their entrance into the resort.
I am not saying in all instances that this approach would work - but that this is the way that we will be approaching it. But also we did not have to consider local guests in the area. We are also lucky in the sense that everyone that we need to have with us - are in a position to afford to stay at the resort. All I'm saying is - that I don't think it is fair to say as a general rule, you Bride A and you Groom A are rude if you don't pay for the passes. It is a matter of circumstance.
Posted 30 May 2007 - 02:57 PM
Posted 30 May 2007 - 03:46 PM
If I got to a wedding and had to pay more bc I tried to save $ on a hotel I would feel weird - like maybe they didn't really want me there. Not saying that is true, it's just what my instinct would be.
Even with all that I still think it is up to each person to decide. Families and friends have different expectations and only the couple knows what those are. FI's fam would be horrified to know we had to pay for them (which is why we aren't telling them.) It's really a personal decision - no etiquette rules apply.
Posted 30 May 2007 - 03:58 PM
There are a few people on my guest list that I know would do almost anything to be there, and I could see myself helping them out with something like this... but if cousin Joe that I haven't seen in 3 years decides to come for the wedding, but stay at another resort, I'm not going to fork over the cash. I don't know if that sounds harsh, but that's just how I feel!
Look what you did, Martha - a full-on debate! LOL.
Clearly everyone has different views about this, it really does need to be evaluated on an individual basis. If you don't feel right asking people to pay the daypass fee if they stay somewhere else, be prepared to pick up the tab. Chances are, the majority of your guests will stay at the same resort you pick and this won't even be a big deal! lol
Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010
Posted 30 May 2007 - 06:31 PM
Posted 30 May 2007 - 06:43 PM
Ya, I'll be posting this on my website, which most of my guests have checked out already anyways. My mom is my MOH, and she's pretty good at spreading the word around - so we'll use that method as well.
Also, surprisingly, a lot of my guests haven't been to Mexico before, so they're asking a lot of questions to begin with. We're not saying "stay with us, or pay!!", it's more about explaining the benefits to them. If they still decide to stay somewhere else, we'll make sure they know about the daypass before they book. You're right, I'd feel horrible if they didn't know about it before booking... if that happened, I'd pick up the tab.
lol... I had to ask a few close relatives (mom, dad etc) about the paying for the daypass issue because I was starting to wonder if it was going to come off as rude. They both said right away that it shouldn't be a bride and groom expense. I've noticed that my fellow Calgarian agrees... I wonder if Kash is right in it being a "cultural" thing??! Even after reading everyone's posts where they feel so strongly about paying, I still don't think that I feel an obligation. I feel like such a jerk saying that, but I really see it as an accomodation fee. Like I said before, if it's a few people, I'd flip the bill.
Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010
Posted 30 May 2007 - 07:32 PM
But I do think it's rude to ask people to pay to enter your reception or to expect them to stay where you're staying.. I understand you all wanting to spend time with your guests but you have to understand that saving 300 or 500 dollars is a lot for some families.. I know we are spending a lot on these weddings and expect guests not to complain but they will complain.. as someone said before, they will remember your wedding as the one they had to pay to get into..
Posted 25 September 2007 - 03:46 PM
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users