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are you doing pre-marital counseling


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#11 H&F

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    Posted 28 May 2009 - 11:41 PM

    I just found these two resources online and I thought it looked really good. The first website talks about different conversations, etc that should happen before marriage. The second link takes you to a whole workbook of conversation questions and things to work on with your partner. It seems pretty straight forward. I hope this is helpful!

    Marriage and Equality - Equality in Marriage Institute

    http://www.equalityi...iage.org/cc.pdf

    #12 PaddleAddict

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      Posted 01 June 2009 - 10:17 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by inunez
      i don't even know how to bring it up again. i don't want to get into another arguement and the pre-marital counseling i would like to do is not religious at all! but then again - where do i look for it in NY? if it's something we have to pay for out of our pocket, we def do not have any extra money for that.

      i think that he was a little more hesitant about it becasue the conversation came up when my sister asked me about. she's a born again Christian and she and her husband go to church very often. my FI and i are not church lovers.

      how do i present this idea to him again and making him understand that it has nothing to do with religion? i really think i need your help ladies!!!
      My health insurance covers premarital counseling. I did not think it would, but I called the company and had them look into it and it did. We had to choose an in-network counselor and our co-pay is only $20 per session. Not bad!

      As far as how to approach your fi, well, I would just explain that it is important to you and it's non religious, so why not try one or two sessions and if he doesn't like it, at least you tried...

      #13 Prettyhazardous

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        Posted 06 June 2009 - 07:56 PM

        Well We are having a religious ceremony and we are very involved in church so clearly it was mandatory for us. But I agree that it was a great experience. It really opened our eyes to things that we thought we knew or thought we agreed on. We actually started our counseling before we were even engaged just to make sure that we knew what we were getting into beforehand. We are even gonna participate in post counseling. I mean it's with our pastor who has a degree n psych and has been married for 30 year, what can it hurt you know. But you can always go outside of the church for counseling....

        #14 hunniebee724

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          Posted 08 June 2009 - 02:40 PM

          Actually, my fiance was the one who asked me about it! His mom suggested we do it, and we both agree that it's something we should do. We're over a year away, so we haven't looked into it yet.

          #15 sn0048

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            Posted 19 July 2009 - 12:23 AM

            So the state of Texas now has the option to pay an additional $60 or go through an 8 hour course and have the fee and waiting period waived. While we were pretty resistant to the idea, we ended up doing the course today and not only was it informational, it was nice to know that most of the sources of conflict between us is common. Now we have the tools to acknowledge our issues and work together to resolve them. By no means will the course be a cure-all but it will help :) I would highly recommend any couple to try out the class!

            #16 CrystalM

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              Posted 19 July 2009 - 12:16 PM

              My fiance and I are planning on doing it. His insurance covers it. I brought it up to him and he agreed that it's a good idea, he just asked that it not be religious based and I agreed with that. We're waiting to hear back from the people we called to find out if they're accepting new patients and if their office hours are later than 5pm
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              #17 murmel

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              Posted 19 July 2010 - 11:17 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by H&F
              I just found these two resources online and I thought it looked really good. The first website talks about different conversations, etc that should happen before marriage. The second link takes you to a whole workbook of conversation questions and things to work on with your partner. It seems pretty straight forward. I hope this is helpful!

              Marriage and Equality - Equality in Marriage Institute

              http://www.equalityi...iage.org/cc.pdf
              Thanks for these posts. FI and I are trying to find a non-religous premarital course in Toronto, but incase we don't at least we have some resources to follow now.

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              #18 MDLady

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                Posted 20 July 2010 - 03:46 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by PaddleAddict
                My health insurance covers premarital counseling. I did not think it would, but I called the company and had them look into it and it did. We had to choose an in-network counselor and our co-pay is only $20 per session. Not bad!

                As far as how to approach your fi, well, I would just explain that it is important to you and it's non religious, so why not try one or two sessions and if he doesn't like it, at least you tried...
                Are you serious That's amazing!!! Insurance companies usually try to get out of paying so I'm shocked. That's great that you even looked it up. I guess it might make sense to pay for it rather than therapy during a divorce or stress-related illnesses :)

                #19 MDLady

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                  Posted 20 July 2010 - 03:50 PM

                  We didn't do it but we might still do something similar as our personalities are very different and it cannot hurt to do it. It has nothing to do with religion IMO, just learning some skills and how to handle certain situations that will most likely come up in the years to come.

                  #20 lsjhik

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                    Posted 21 July 2010 - 11:21 PM

                    I wish we were doing it :-( but since he won't get married in the Catholic church, no go. Good luck getting your guy to understand why you want it.




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