| Originally Posted by Shannond4156 |
I think you got your answer so I won't add to that. But I think what you do need to do is take a big deep breath! There will be lots of twists and turns that come up with planning your destintation wedding. You will be hurt by people that can't come and by the reasons they give you. On the upside though you will be amazed by the people that take the time, money and effort to come celebrate with you. Focus on these people and how great your day will be. If someone agrees to be a part of your wedding day; chances are they will do what they can to make it. However, life sometimes gets in the way and if they are truly close friends the money will work itself out in the end!
Will I be a bridezilla if...
Posted 14 May 2009 - 05:55 PM
Posted 14 May 2009 - 06:28 PM
Posted 14 May 2009 - 06:30 PM
My friend since I was 4 year old is one of them. She was supposed to get married 5 years ago. I was her MOH. I paid $280, YES, $280 dollars for my bridemaid dress, $75 on alterations, $60 for the matching dyeable shoes, and co hosted her bridal shower for $300, all to get to 2 months before the wedding and her "postpone" it cause they couldn't afford it. They have set 3 additional dates and each has come and gone. All the meanwhile, she told me to hang on to the dress and shoes...she *just* got married in April buy doing a JOP wedding. Am I still annoyed by this, absolutely. This is why I think it's tacky. She is worried about being able to afford it now as it is. So for everyone who just laid into me about it, what would you do?
It's also not like this was going to be the only thing in the contract....I was planning on spelling out every and any responsibilities such date, times, when to reserve things. I talked to one of the other girls about it today. She thinks it's a good idea. She's also a sm. bus. owner who deals with contracts all day long.
Posted 14 May 2009 - 06:42 PM
Posted 14 May 2009 - 06:47 PM
As for what you friend did to you- well I think she wasn't a very thoughtful friend in asking her BMs to spend that much money when she was having such a low budget wedding that didn't even materialize. Obviously this experience made you think about what kind of bride you want to be and what you expect of your friends. But taking it so far as to make it a business transactions takes that "specialness" of having the people who mean the world to you share in your day.
If money is such a huge concern and you are worried that your BMs will not fulfill their obligations, why not just scrap the idea of a bridal party? You can still involve your friends in your wedding without the headaches bridal parties can bring.
Or if you are determined to have a bridal party, why not get together with your girls, have some cocktails and apps and lay down what you expect from them. It's as easy as that. Signing the dotted line is a whole other story in my book.
Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:01 PM
You seem very concerned about money. You seem to be spending a chunk on them and you are very concerned about getting it back if they dont come. This to me almost sounds like you are buying your wedding party, and if you are overly concerned about the money maybe you cant afford it in the first place.
IMOP tell your bridal party your monitary intentions. And give them plenty of time to decide if they can come or not. I would tell you to shove it where the sund doesnt shine if you asked me to sign a contract.
Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:01 PM
i think you and your childhood friend have some problems communicating, and you should probably address that...
Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:34 PM
Oh, and btw - for the 2 girls who did book, I ended up paying for 1 night's stay + deposit for MOH and I bought my BM's dress (around $200). I'm also getting them massages on the beach the day of as well as hand made pairs of foot jewels
~ Jaime & Martin ~
"Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"
We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!
We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!
Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:42 PM
I did end up spending a couple of hours alone while getting ready, but I like alone time. I had my photographers around, too.
I often wonder why we do all this bridal party business. From the perspective of a bridesmaid & a bride, I think it's just simplier to not bother.
of course not everyone has my desire to keep weddings simple.
Oh & it was really nice going off just me & my new hubby to take pictures. We got some awesome romantic pictures and didn't have to spend some of that time doing bridal party shots.
Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:48 PM
Expectations about being a BM...LOL, this is too funny for words.
Are you forgetting the meaning of having BM's in the first place?
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