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how to ask or suggest for only money as a wedding gift


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#11 Sapphire723

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    Posted 05 May 2009 - 04:39 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Amarillis
    Don't do it girl!!

    I am sorry but I need to be the ettiquette police -- terribly tacky.
    Echo this. There's no polite way to ask someone to only give you money, because technically you're not supposed to assume that people will even give you a present. I would let your parents and closest friends know, and hopefully they would be able to suggest it to people who want to know what to get you.

    #12 Duchess

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      Posted 05 May 2009 - 04:57 PM

      I dont know that you can really do this and not be tacky. I mean, you can do it, but it is tacky. It's not right to tell people what they can get you. I think there might be registries out there for savings accounts or something like that, and then you can more tactfully say we are only registering with xyz etc, but people will probably still talk about it. Some people give from the heart and not the money value, and then making money the only option can make them feel uncomfortable.

      Even the honeymoon registries which I think is a good idea, I have heard people say wow thats tacky.

      #13 michellepicksbrent

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        Posted 05 May 2009 - 05:20 PM

        I agree with previous posters, asking for money directly in your invitation is not exactly the greatest, can you tell your parents and in-laws your wishes and have them spread your request by word of mouth?

        #14 Debbi803

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        Posted 05 May 2009 - 05:20 PM

        Everything I've read (and been taught by family :) over the years!!) says putting any registry info on your invitation or included with it is a huge no no. The best suggestion I have is to spread the word through family members and close friends. We also live together, and both of us had our own homes for many years before moving in together so we are hoping that just by spreading the word it will get out. You'd be surprised how much word will travel :)

        #15 itsfinallyhere

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          Posted 05 May 2009 - 07:28 PM

          I have to tell you I agree with everybody else. I know my FI would be offend if we got an invitation like that. You are inviting people you know so they probably will give you money knowing you already have everything you need. Others who may not know so well will give money because they don't know you so well. But here is the thing sometimes people give a gift because they can shop for what they can afford (maybe find a deal or something on sale), and sometimes people can't afford to give cash because you are usually give more cash then you would spend on a gift (because of sales). This might case that person unease as they may feel unable to give enough. By requesting money it kinda sounds like you want everybody to pay for your wedding instead. It send a bad vibe out to start the celebration with. Sorry I know it's not what you want to hear, but asking for something (anything) like that is tacky.

          #16 JCrosby

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            Posted 05 May 2009 - 07:58 PM

            Personally, I feel weird mentioning gifts for a DW at all. The way I see it, people are spending hundreds of dollars on a DW anyway so I don't even want to think about them spending more on gifts. I'm sure most people will give gifts but I don't even really feel comfortable registering. Just my two cents.

            #17 Royal_lady10

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              Posted 05 May 2009 - 08:39 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Sapphire723
              Echo this. There's no polite way to ask someone to only give you money, because technically you're not supposed to assume that people will even give you a present. I would let your parents and closest friends know, and hopefully they would be able to suggest it to people who want to know what to get you.
              FI & I are in the same boat.. but this is the advise that we have taken.. Thanks Sapphire. We dont expect any of our guest to get us gifts, but we have some guest who insist on it, and for those guest, we are using my mom and his mom to mention maybe a gift card (Visa, MC, or Amex) and are also going throw a gift registry together for those that just wna to get us something.

              HTH

              #18 cancunbride

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                Posted 06 May 2009 - 07:03 PM

                I had this same problem for my co ed bridal shower. What we did was made a money tree and when people rsvpd over the phone and asked my MOH where we were registered at, she told everyone that she would be having a money tree for anyone who wishes to tie money on the tree as a gift or a card since we already lived together and had everything we needed. She indicated that the money would contribute to our honeymoon. It was a great idea, we collected 1500.00 among 60 people.

                #19 NyBeachBride

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                  Posted 07 May 2009 - 12:27 PM

                  the money tree is cool but i think people will still think its wierd u know. i asked a couple of people, old and new...they all thought it was wierd, mainly because they have never attended anythign but a traditional wedding and never have been to a DW. so i think i am goign to do a regular BORING bed bath and beyond registry and also a honeymoon one. but i am goign to put, "please no boxed gifts" on the invite because its just smart for both the guests and myself not to be lugging boxes around...and both registires will be up for the bridal shower and the wedding
                  i think that is fair enough

                  does anyone have any ideas of better places instead of BORING bed bath and beyond ? lol i just really dont need anymore towels sheets or fryign pans lol

                  thanks girls i appreciate all your input!!
                  "

                  #20 cancunbride

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                    Posted 07 May 2009 - 12:38 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by babiexoxo
                    the money tree is cool but i think people will still think its wierd u know. i asked a couple of people, old and new...they all thought it was wierd, mainly because they have never attended anythign but a traditional wedding and never have been to a DW. so i think i am goign to do a regular BORING bed bath and beyond registry and also a honeymoon one. but i am goign to put, "please no boxed gifts" on the invite because its just smart for both the guests and myself not to be lugging boxes around...and both registires will be up for the bridal shower and the wedding
                    i think that is fair enough

                    does anyone have any ideas of better places instead of BORING bed bath and beyond ? lol i just really dont need anymore towels sheets or fryign pans lol

                    thanks girls i appreciate all your input!!
                    Well in my opinion it just really depends on the age group of the people you are inviting to your shower. My family members were between the ages of 50- 70 and they decided to give us money instead of a gift. My other guests were between 25-35. Most of my guests loved the money tree idea because they knew whatever they bought us, we already had, and it was just going to get returned or stored in the garage. I would do the shower invitation and have them rsvp and then just leave it up to your maid of honor to advise the guests of such tree. Here is a picture of my tree for you to see... If you can see, my guests even brought cards and placed them in the basket where the tree sat. They all had a check or cash or a gift card. I thought it was hit. We didnt get any gifts except a Jorge Foreman Grill and a Blender which we already have. Those two things will be returned as we dont need them.

                    Click the image to open in full size.

                    Click the image to open in full size.
                    Also if you notice, they are hanging from little white envelopes. My MOH made the guests write their address on the outside of the envelopes. So when I collected them at the end, I am now sending thank you cards to all those addresses. I dont think its tacky, I think its just the way you go about it that can be tacky.




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