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Jack & Jill, Shower or At Home Reception?

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#1 Lindsay.Gingras

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  • 3 posts

    Posted 28 February 2009 - 06:29 PM

    Hey Ladies,

    Who's having what? A jack & jill, bridal shower and or at home reception?

    I've really been debating the thought of a Jack and Jill. I thought I wanted one for the party, but feel like a jerk asking people that are already putting money out for the destination wedding to spend more money at the Jack and Jill. Plus I'm really only inviting my close friends and family. So is it fair to invite people to the Jack and Jill that aren't even invited to the wedding?

    I don't want or expect money or presents from anyone, so I definately don't care for a Bridal Shower... If I scratched out the Jack and Jill though, is it fair or jerky to charge for drinks if we have a reception at home? Like cheap, I don't want to make money off ppl, but how can I afford to have open bar for everyone that I want to invite to celebrate.

    anyhoo, I'm torn, can you ladies please share with me what you're doing?

    Thanks in advance! :o)


    #2 jackobelle

    • Jr. Member
    • 359 posts

      Posted 28 February 2009 - 07:26 PM

      I am having all three! (my future MIL is hosting the shower) I don't think we can afford to have an open bar (and we don't want to because with an open bar there is usually a lot of waste) So we are going to use our Buck & doe money to provide wine and a couple drink tickets to our AHR guests.

      I don't think there is anything wrong with having a Jack & Jill. Even for non-destination weddings lots of people go who are not invited to the wedding.

      #3 lolkitteh

      • Jr. Member
      • 167 posts

        Posted 01 March 2009 - 11:05 AM

        I'm a little confused because showers or jack & Jill parties are something that someone else other than your immediate family (like your bridal party) throws for you on your behalf - are you asking whether you should throw one for yourself? If so, I'd say no, I don't think that it is ever appropriate to throw your own shower or Jack & Jill party.

        If someone throws one for you, I think it is perfectly fine to have them invite people who aren't also invited to the wedding. This happens all the time.

        As for throwing an AHR, I think it is better to go with no bar or a limited bar (IE, beer, wine and soft drinks only, and maybe champagne for the toast) than to have a cash bar. IMHO, your guests should never have to open their wallets when attending a party you host.

        #4 lmg970

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        • 316 posts

          Posted 01 March 2009 - 11:57 AM

          My sis and SIL are putting on a shower for me.
          The old standard was if you had a shower then you didn't do a Jack & Jill event, but I think that has changed.
          We are doing a reception upon return as we didn't have many guests going with us.
          The jack and jills I have helped with, we usually sold tickets, so anyone could go, not just people that are invited the wedding. I had some of my friends buy tickets and go, just to go to a party and have a night out. We made a good amount of money that way.

          #5 August2010Bride

          • Jr. Member
          • 369 posts

            Posted 01 March 2009 - 10:01 PM

            We are probably going to have a "co-ed" shower and are having a AHR for about 100 guests after the wedding.

            #6 calchik

            • Jr. Member
            • 166 posts

              Posted 02 March 2009 - 02:56 PM

              we're doing a co-ed wedding shower put on by my mom and my MOH for friends and family...pretty much inviting everyone who's invited to the AHR that lives in our city

              and a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party which is not the same as a buck and doe as we're not selling tickets to it. this will be close friends and my siblings to go bowling, do stag/ stagette games then go to a bar and party

              and a AHR cocktail reception where we're inviting everyone and their dog, that'll be about 160 ppl at a rented venue with catering and bar service. we're having open bar for the first hour or 2 then doing a toonie bar after that. if you buy your own alcohol for your AHR at costco you can make an agreement with them to return whatever isn't opened

              #7 canadianheather

              • Newbie
              • 47 posts

                Posted 27 April 2009 - 03:37 PM

                I am not doing a shower. But we are throwing a Jack & Jill about a month before the wedding. We are just having a keg party in the backyard with hamburgers and hotdogs. We also have a pool so people can go swimming as well. We are considering this our AHR because we don't want the hassle of having to throw a party afterwards. Plus we're expecting 50 to 60 guests to come out to our DW so it seems silly to throw a second party when so many of our guests were able to come to the actual wedding. This works best for us! Hope this helps...Goodluck with yours!

                #8 becassidy

                • Jr. Member
                • 151 posts
                  • LocationNew York

                  Posted 24 July 2014 - 12:12 PM

                  How are you wording invites for the jack&jill "shower"?

                  #9 MissJen3

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 257 posts
                  • Wedding Date:November 20, 2015
                  • LocationToronto area

                  Posted 27 July 2014 - 07:18 PM

                  I am not having an AHR. My family was pretty shocked when I told them, but I just feel I am going away to get married. Thats where I will have my party. 

                  As for a Jack and Jill, I have told my family no thank you. However, I am not sure I am being heard at this point...

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