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Is anyone else sad it's over?

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#1 heather007

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    Posted 25 February 2009 - 01:43 PM

    We got back from our wedding/vacation on Sunday and I ever since then I have been feeling very blue. Maybe it's because I have my friend, maybe it's because it's been blizzarding since we got back and it's -37 with the windchill today, but whatever it is, I'm feeling very sad.

    Our wedding was great, it was the best moment of my life. The week afterwards, which was suppose to be our honeymoon, wasn't. We spent it with family the entire time on excursions, and eating supper with them for all the nights but two. It wasn't what Francis and I agreed to prior to leaving for Mexico, but he booked things like that anyway. We only got to spend a few hours, in total, on the beach and half a day on Saturday by ourself. I really wanted the last week to be more Francis and me, but that didn't happen, and I was very hurt by that, and so we did spend the moments that we were alone, bickering with each other. I felt like he didn't want to spend alone time with me, doing what "honeymooners" should be doing, nor did he care enough to do some of the things I wanted to do, like hanging out on the beach or just being the two of us for a bit. In fact, we had a bottle of champagne in our room that we never drank.

    It really felt like our honeymoon started the day before we left because that was the day that we had time to spend doing things that we wanted to do. Francis even admitted that day that he shouldn't have booked us up for the entire week because he really enjoyed his time too.

    I just feel like shit. I'm really hurt by how things played out and I don't want to be. I don't want to think back about our fighting, about not having fun, and being stressed out because I couldn't even spend 2 hours alone with my husband.

    We have talked about going somewhere else here, but we really can't afford it because we spent a lot of money and the economy sucks.

    Plus, I'm sad because now I feel like a have an emptiness here. My craft area is bare, I don't have anything to make, and that feeling of "looking forward" to the wedding is over.

    Can I have a few suggestions from past brides on how you handle this?




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    Posted 25 February 2009 - 02:00 PM

    heather girl, us old married ladies feel your pain!

    when we had our wedding in cabo, we had soooo much family drama that week, plus the morning after the wedding at about 830am, dougs mom fell down some stairs and broke her shoulder! the rest of our trip was pretty much ruined. not to mention we had dougs kids with us the whole week, we just didnt get ANY alone time.

    we already knew we were planning a honeymoon later in the year, but still, it was supposed to be OUR week and ended up being family drama week. so that part really sucked. IN FACT when we got back i didnt even post anything about the wedding or about all that happened the whole week, and only did a hotel review, because i was so upset about it at the time.

    i feel bad for you that francis was being a jerk about things, but at least ahead of time he was feeling bad about booking up the whole week like that. im sure he was just wanting to make sure the guests had a good time (which im sure they did!)

    try not to focus on the FREEZING cold weather, or the hurt that you feel, and just remember that you are a happy newlywed! find a new hobby, like wedding pictures haha, and immerse yourself in that while you wait for spring.

    hmmmm, and maybe you can start planning a REAL honeymoon for later, like we are, and then you can focus on that!! its ok to do that, our honeymoon wont be until we've been married 9 months already!

    #3 heather007

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      Posted 25 February 2009 - 02:25 PM

      Thanks Abbie so much for sharing your story. It helps knowing that someone else went through something similiar.


      #4 MissyR

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        Posted 25 February 2009 - 02:32 PM

        Even though we didn't have a ton of drama .. I was very down and sad after everything was all over. The first month we were back I cried regularly - I kept telling FI that I wanted to go and do the week all over again just to take in everything. I think it's totally normal - especially because the BDW put so much time into DIY projects etc.

        #5 seaprincess

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          Posted 25 February 2009 - 08:58 PM

          Hey girl, I feel your pain....We spent our 'honeymoon' surrounded by my in-laws and the rest of DH's family. We returned on Feb 7 and it was freezing cold the next week, I didn't want to go back to work, and I was searching cheap last minute vacations on-line whenever I had a spare minute. The next week was better, now I'm on week three and I'm in full blown AHR planning and nesting. I'm decorating and planning reno projects all over the place.
          I'm sorry you had a bit of a bummer of a honeymoon, but who says your honeymoon has to be immediately after the wedding? We are planning a honeymoon for later this year to make up for the family fun honeymoon we had in Punta Cana.
          You need to find something to throw yourself into to focus your energy. Good luck and BDW is always here for you!
          Lindsay and Jamie - January 28, 2009

          #6 heather007

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            Posted 25 February 2009 - 09:20 PM

            Thanks so much. Francis and I had a chat today while picking up some of our gifts from Home Outfitters. We are thinking about going back this time next year as a honeymoon and a one year anniversary trip. We both think that will be very cool. I think that he understands how I'm feeling.

            He told me that I need to start planning something else, so he told me that I need to look for houses again. As a hobby [how strange is this] I watch the housing market like a hawk here and in the possible locations that we may move to.

            I can't really renovate too much, we live in a new house. I love gardening, but we don't have a garden, just a little patch out front. We do have plans this spring to make it a rised garden.

            I guess I just need to find other things to do now, like I really want to start my wedding business.


            #7 Banana11

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              Posted 25 February 2009 - 09:21 PM

              Awwww Heather I am totally with ya! If I had a do over (well a few ) one of them would be to plan a honeymoon that didn't include our friends and family! I also searched for last minute cheap vacations when we got back hoping to find something for us to do as a honeymoon. So funny others were doing the same!

              I've now replaced wedding planning with food. Not working out so great for me and I don't recommend it. Gotta quit that new habit really soon! I agree with Abbie, plan a late honeymoon! That's what I hope to do!

              #8 heather007

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                Posted 25 February 2009 - 09:25 PM

                A late honeymoon sounds great. I think that I might go this weekend to get some travel books. Haha, I find that so funny that other girls are looking for cheap vacations too. I don't find myself so crazy anymore.


                #9 heather007

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                  Posted 25 February 2009 - 09:26 PM

                  Oh Andrea, how did you like Jamaica by the way?


                  #10 ErinB


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                    Posted 25 February 2009 - 09:29 PM

                    Heather, welcome to post wedding let down.

                    I am ready for another wedding myself. I feel like now that I've been through the experience, I could go back and 'fix' all of the things that I didn't like. Don't get me wrong, we had a wonderful week, be had almost no alone time. We were in Jamaica for a full week and got married on Saturday so our guests who couldn't stay that long could attend the wedding. The only day we had after the wedding was Sunday and we wanted to spend that time with family.

                    When we returned I focused on the AHR, then we bought a house. Now that all of that excitement is over, boredom has really set in. Like Abbie said, there are always wedding pictures!

                    We were supposed to take a vacation/honeymoon this summer and I don't know that we can afford it.

                    I wish I had better words of wisdom, but just know that you aren't alone!

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