Jump to content
sstotz

Advice Pleaseeee!! (Before I over or under react!)

Recommended Posts

Today is the 135 day marker before I tie the knot.

 

My MOH called last week (a day before my birthday) and left a message saying she had some "conflicts" with my wedding date (she's known about it for a year and a half)..

I got to my phone right as it said new voicemail, and listened.. nervous, I called her right back. She didn't answer (which, I kind of expected because her voicemail ended with her yelling "HOLD ON!" and she was obviously busy..)

I left her a message saying that I'm here the rest of the day, so call and we'll try to work whatever the conflict is out, and not to worry.

 

That was one week ago, and I haven't heard from her.

 

I got an email from a foundation we are both apart of saying how they are going to personally send a petition to the June 2009 commission meeting, blah blah blah.. and then I saw her name on it..meaning SHE was going to be there hand delivering this petition.. curious, I searched the web to find the exact dates and its the whole week of my wedding (LOVELY).

 

-------------now I need some advice.

My FI hasnt been to found of her lack of commitment lately,...and said pretty much "screw her,..she obviously isnt that great of a friend if she is being shady by not calling you back, and chosing something else over our wedding day which shes known about for over a year..."

I don't know how to approach this. On one hand, yes, I'm hurt and upset that shes waited all this time (and still waiting) to clue me in, pretty much avoiding the topic..I just want to scream!

On the other hand, its for charity...something she's deeply involved in.. crap! I don't want to feel selfish or anything like that, but ....crap!

 

I have absolutely know idea what to do about a new MOH because my BMs are all pretty much a tie, and I don't want to promote one over the other and make the others feel weird.. I know some of you may say,.. you dont necessarily NEED a MOH, but I want to experience all the things that come along with my wedding... a bachelorette party, a shower.. you only get married once, ya know??

 

Anyway,.. if you were in my shoes, how would you handle this.. before I make the call. THANK YOU LADIES!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it is very selfish to agree to be in your wedding as MOH to later take on another event which will not allow her to attend your wedding. In my opinion she is not that great of a friend for doing this to you.

 

I know it would be hard to do, but I would call her out on it.

 

Regarding on picking a new MOH, if you really want one, then ask both of your current maids to be MOH's...is one married? Then you can have a Matron and Maid of Honor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the first thing you should do is keep calling her so you can find out exactly what is going on. Honestly that is kind of shady of her to plan something else and then avoid you. At least if you call her and get her side of the story then you can start making different arrangements. I don't think you are going to feel much better until you guys talk. As far as the MOH thing do you have a sister or other family member you would want to use as your MOH? I hope you get ahold of her soon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, that stinks.

Do you have this girls email? Maybe you should send her an email like this post. Tell her what you know, how you feel, and how stressed out you are that she hasnt returned your call.

Leave you FI out of it. Tell her that you love her no matter what (even if you are mad at her) Give her a little guilt trip.

You can post it on this thread if you want some proof readers:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i personally would be pissed if my MOH knew about my wedding for over a year and then picked something else to do instead of be a part of your big day. and on top of that evading you to talk about it. being a MOH should be an honor to her that she is the one person that you picked to play such a big role on one of the most important days of your life.

 

if i were you, definetly hunt her down and clarify what's happening. talk this out but based on her behaviour it might be best if you pick someone else. how much help or support is she going to be if you end up sticking with her? she obviously hasn't made this a big priority of hers.

 

as for picking someone else, my FI had to do a coin toss for his best man cuz he couldn't pick. he had both guys there, explained why they're both important to him, how he'd love to have both but can't. then let fate and coin toss decide. i don't think it'll hurt anyone's feelings if you pick a name out of a hat or something like that after explaining they're equally important to you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, first, I think you do need to call her and put her on the spot. You need to know, so that you can move on with your plans.

 

Second, you don't need a "MOH", you can still have the bridal shower, bachelorette and all that good stuff without one. Just have a talk with your other BM's and say that so-and-so is no longer able to make it to the DW, so you ask that they all step up to handle the MOH duties. So I guess that means, you can ask them all to be your MOH. I have seen plenty of weddings were there are more then 1 MOH. And especially if you have the same level of friendship and don't want to hurt feelings, it's a good work-around.

 

Good luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is great advice Carly! I agree with just not having a MOH. You do need to call her and make her say yes or no. If this is any indication how she is going to act as your MOH you might not even want her there anyway IMO =) Good luck and keep us posted on what she says.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Thanks for the reply! I will keep you as much updated as possible! Only realised that I made a lot of typos because it was late at night and a lot to write!  Moving forward, I have asked one of the 2 to be my best man to which he gladly accepted so no issues there! I asked someone else to be part of the groomsmen too and he accepted right away! I have told everyone in the groomsmen (Barring W) about the situation and they are all disappointed in A and W. Right now I am having problems with W being the groomsmen after his comments so I want to remove him from it. Some days I feel like talking to him about the situation but at the same time I feel like a dick and remove him without telling him 🤣  It still has been really quiet from this lot which made me started with the new plan. I have given everyone a plus 1 from the other side of the world. Then I have the remaining spaces left out to who all said yes straight away! Should have done that in the first place haha! Like I said I feel like planning on the new plan without telling the original people about this. It feels to me they do not want to come but scared to say anything. Then again if I carry on with this new plan the majority of the UK side wouldn't even notice.
    • So long story short I want to have my wedding in Jamaica in December. However, it's booked up. So next option is Cancun. I am going to be doing a Tamil Sri Lankan South Asian wedding. I want a 5 star hotel.  I was set on Royalton as that is where I always go and love it. However, it seems really pricy for the wedding. I am looking to have 30-40 people.  I want to spend the least amount of money ... Doesn't everyone!  I want to know what 5 star chain or resort provides the best deals for weddings? I would love to know about Moon Palace( I can't get a hold of anyone!)  If there are any other ones please let me know!  
    • I want to testify to the glory of Lord Masuka, the spell caster that helped me restored my marriage. It all started when my husband came back home acting weird for no reason, I tried to find out what was going on but he refused talking to me for days, he woke up one morning and say to me that he needs a break and he left without any clue where he's going, I was so shocked and devastated because I have done nothing wrong to him other than being a supporting wife, I cried all day, one fateful evening I saw series of comments on how Lord Masuka had restored collapsed marriages, so I decided to give him a try. He assured me that all hope are not lost yet, I followed the instructions he gave me and to my greatest surprise my husband who had left me for  months without a call came to my work place and begged for forgiveness, now we are happy family because of Lord Masuka. To as many of you having issues in your relationship, marriages Lord Masuka is the answer to your problem, contact him today via email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or WhatsApp him +1(234)-307-0752. You can also visit his website for more info https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka?  
    • I want to testify to the glory of Lord Masuka, the spell caster that helped me restored my marriage. It all started when my husband came back home acting weird for no reason, I tried to find out what was going on but he refused talking to me for days, he woke up one morning and say to me that he needs a break and he left without any clue where he's going, I was so shocked and devastated because I have done nothing wrong to him other than being a supporting wife, I cried all day, one fateful evening I saw series of comments on how Lord Masuka had restored collapsed marriages, so I decided to give him a try. He assured me that all hope are not lost yet, I followed the instructions he gave me and to my greatest surprise my husband who had left me for  months without a call came to my work place and begged for forgiveness, now we are happy family because of Lord Masuka. To as many of you having issues in your relationship, marriages Lord Masuka is the answer to your problem, contact him today via email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or WhatsApp him +1(234)-307-0752. You can also visit his website for more info  https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka?   
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...