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One month to go...and we just had a HUGE fight!


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#11 DanielleNDerek

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    Posted 18 December 2008 - 01:48 PM

    Its completely normal to be so stressed out and fights blow up close to the wedding. I know we had a big fight about a month before too, but i couldnt tell ya what it was about now. And DO NOT breakdown and get the gm gifts. If he knows that he can just not do it because you'll cover for him, he'll always be like that. So hold your ground, and dont do the last 2 things hes supposed to take care of. I wouldnt even nag him about it, maybe in a week ask if he did them. kind of like a reminder kind of thing. The more you nag him, the more he'll be annoyed with you (even though its his fault for not getting it done) and he wont want to do it.
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    #12 Hartyt509

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      Posted 20 December 2008 - 08:33 AM

      Yeah I've done it too only I said sort yourself out or get our permanently I've had enough lol He comes home on leave and he's straight on his laptop or his PS3 so I took the fuse out and hid one of his fav games that stopped that lol

      Once I had the blow out I felt so much better. Saying that I've been asking him to do the invitations (the one thing I've asked him to do) for 3 months and they are sitting on the floor - they will stay there cause i'm not doing them lol

      #13 Debs

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        Posted 20 December 2008 - 12:38 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek
        ...And DO NOT breakdown and get the gm gifts. If he knows that he can just not do it because you'll cover for him, he'll always be like that. So hold your ground, and dont do the last 2 things hes supposed to take care of...
        This is VERY sound advice. This will set you up for the remainder of your married life. If he knows to put it off long enough so you will come to the rescue, he will ALWAYS do it.

        If HE doesn't buy HIS groomsmen gifts, they don't get any. Simple as that.

        I gave Chris similar tasks that he was responsible for. His outfit, his GM's outfit and gift, loading the ipod with tunes and playlists, and getting us to/from the airport. He was REALLY good at doing those things, because it was things he had interest in and KNEW he could take care of with minimum fuss.

        Remember, boys will always be boys, wanting to play rather than do work, so we should make it as easy as possible on their simple little brains!

        #14 Maybride2009

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          Posted 20 December 2008 - 12:47 PM

          You are not alone, we have had a LOT of fights about the wedding..mainly because his mom is causing friction and has just made the whole planning process a nightmare.
          I think that you nailed it all when you said that pretty much this time of year is causing you stress...that'll do it.

          #15 sstotz

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            Posted 20 December 2008 - 12:52 PM

            hey darlin.. the way i look at it is:
            you are way stressed, and he is too! i think it is PERFECTLY normal.. and really, don't believe that there is truly anyone out there that has had a relationship without having a huge fight. it's how y'all will learn more about eachother! my FI and I had a blow out about 1 week before our "first wedding date" (we pushed back our wedding because of the stress of dealing with my masters program)..at the time i was thinking, "sh!t! i cant believe that i would have been marrying this a$$hole in one week!!" but looking back, it was REALLY good for us! you need to learn how your FI fights, and he needs to learn how you do, so that when you fight in your marriage (because face it.. it most likely will happen from time to time) then you know that you'll make it through it!
            If you are anything like me (stubborn and proud) you dont want to apologize (you most likely did nothing wrong, because you are perfect...like me!)..but sometimes, thats all they want to here.. so if it helps, I say go over to him and say hey,..I'm sorry about that fight. I love you so much,.. we both just are so stressed right now, but I want you to know that there's nobody else I'd imagine spending the rest of my life with.." chances are, everything is gonna be just fine! good luck!!
            ~Soon to be Shanny May
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            #16 sstotz

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              Posted 20 December 2008 - 12:55 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Debs
              This is VERY sound advice. This will set you up for the remainder of your married life. If he knows to put it off long enough so you will come to the rescue, he will ALWAYS do it.

              If HE doesn't buy HIS groomsmen gifts, they don't get any. Simple as that.

              I gave Chris similar tasks that he was responsible for. His outfit, his GM's outfit and gift, loading the ipod with tunes and playlists, and getting us to/from the airport. He was REALLY good at doing those things, because it was things he had interest in and KNEW he could take care of with minimum fuss.

              Remember, boys will always be boys, wanting to play rather than do work, so we should make it as easy as possible on their simple little brains!

              Thanks for that! I seriously am taking note right now.. my FI is the exact same way, and says he wants to help.. but deep down inside I feel like he just wants to say that, but knowing that I'll end up coming to the rescue if he slacked on it. :-/ I gotta set the ground rules! haha
              ~Soon to be Shanny May
              June 20th, 2009
              Cabo San Lucas, MX

              http://ticker.7910.o....nRkb3duISE.gif

              #17 Kelly C

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                Posted 20 December 2008 - 02:47 PM

                Everything said is quite normal and I think we all have experienced in some way.

                I agree with Deb and I said the same thing to my hubby. If he didn't go get the gifts they got nothing and left it at that. My girls were taking care of. he did eventually go get them. The weekend before we left and I didnt give a hoot.
                Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.

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                #18 Debs

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                  Posted 20 December 2008 - 03:20 PM

                  It all goes along with not treating your FI like a kid, rather as a partner. When we first got together C would never make a decision about ANYTHING, like where to go/what to make for dinner, what movie to see, stuff like that. So then I make the decision and he mopes, cause he really didn't want stir fry, he wanted XYZ. I just said tough titty, maybe you will learn to speak your mind then.

                  Another classic guy-ism is the stupid little shit like not wanting to call for pizza, doctor/dentist appointments and stuff. "no you call". WTF guy! I'm not your mother over here and your hand and mouth sure as shit ain't broke, and I don't know your schedule. Call yourself!!

                  #19 chicklet

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                    Posted 23 December 2008 - 12:36 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by neen
                    our wedding is exactly one month away and FI just had a big screaming match. Is that normal? I'm stessed at work, I'm stessed about christmas shopping (which I've done for his family and mine), I'm stressed about getting all the details and printing and gifts and organizing done for the wedding (all of which I'm taking care of) and FI has been playing videogames from the time he gets home til he goes to bed for the last week. He had exactly 4 things to do for the wedding: book our honeymoon (I did it because he dragged his feet until well into September!), pick our first dance song (I did it because he dragged his feet until October), pick/order groomsmen gifts (still not done), figure out what we're doing on our honeymoon (hasn't even been started!). So I'm nagging him and cranky everyday for the last week and I guess he's had enough of that and picked a fight.

                    I'm not worried in the least that he doesn't love me or doesn't want to marry me. I am just worried that its not good that we had a big fight so close to our wedding date. I get that I'm feeling underappreciated, I just want to know I'm not the only one in this kind of situation...
                    It happens...my FH is doing the exact same thing. Doesn't have any sense of urgency!! Must be a man thing! *lol*
                    Fights are going to happen this time of year. You are trying to get through christmas plus plan the wedding of your dreams...that is some stressful stuff! Chalk it up to that and move on and be thankful he is letting you do everything you want :). This is my motto!!
                    If they don't get gifts, they don't get gifts! At least your girls are taken care of :)

                    #20 moore.vj1

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                      Posted 23 December 2008 - 12:39 PM

                      I think it is totally normal when you are stressed. Me and my FI have some big fights, but what maters is how long it takes to make up and how much you love eachother. Hang in there!




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