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samanthag

Having a baby after you turn 35 years old? Does age really matter?

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The doctor has to tell you everything, thats their job. Aside of listening to them everything else is up to you. If you feel that you are happy and healthy enough to raise a child then go for it. Who cares how old you are. God only gives you what he thinks you can handle.... Good luck with everything.

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Katy - you explained it exactly how I feel. "but I don't want to have a baby just because I need to have one before I am 30 or 35" I KNOW that is what is going to happen with Matt and me. We were both 29 at the wedding, and we want to wait ideally 3-5 years. But I really think we won't wait that long (at least 2 though) cuz I am scared to have problems!

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It's not just talk that having a baby over 35 carries more complications than it does for a younger woman. We produce eggs when we start menstruating and we have those same eggs until we go through menopause. The doctors just want you to be aware of the increased risks for complications as you age since, although society is waiting to have babies at a later age, our bodies are not. It is also harder for a woman to conceive at a later age. My mom had children at 23, 32, & 34 and miscarriages at 35 & 37. It's not a scare tactic. It's the doctor's job to make sure you are aware of the increased risks that waiting causes. Not to say that you won't have a healthy baby (I think there was a 60 year old who delivered recently) but you have to take all that into account.

 

Another thing you can do is freeze your eggs now so that when you start trying, you are using the younger eggs.

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The reason it is riskier to have a baby after 35 is mostly because the risk of Down's increases more after this age - BUT it is still a low risk. If you are over 35, you are considered a "high risk" pregnancy, but this just means they'll watch you a little more closely. You don't have to be on bedrest or anything like that just because of your age.

Your gynecologist shouldn't have made you feel bad. The risks are still low and you need to do what is right for you and your fiance at the time, and shouldn't feel pressured to have a baby sooner based on your age.

If it makes you feel better, I have a lot of friends who are doctors (including ob/gyn) and most of them are in their early 30s and just starting to think about having a baby. A lot of doctors themselves don't start having children until their mid-30s, so obviously it isn't that bad...

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I did a little research on this for a paper a few years ago, and health risks for the baby (and complications for the mother) slightly increased between 30-35 (hardly, but slightly), and then more so from 35-40, but it was only after 40 that the risks were considerably higher.

 

So I wouldn't be too worried about having a kid at 35ish, but I would if I was closer to 40.

 

Also by late 30s many people say they don't have the energy levels they had a few years earlier to handle the sleepless nights and running after young kids.

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my mom had me at 35 actually. yes, there are greater risks but as everyone else said on here as long as you are healthy you should be fine. My very good friend just had her first baby and she is 37 and everything is excellent with the baby

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From the bottom of my heart, grouphug.gif

 

Thanks for all of your encouraging words!!!!!!

 

 

My doctor has been saying this for a few years now. At the end of every visit he says, " So Samantha when are we thinking of having kids..." I would always laugh & totally ignore the question but now that I am getting closer to 35 I guess it's starting to bug me now. I mean, in no way do I feel my age much less be able to swallow someone telling me that I might have problems when I "decide" I'm ready?

 

I feel better that I have shared this with all of you and I sincerely appreciate you sharing your personal stories...

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Just a few thoughts- you can be healthy, fit and under 35 to have a child with Downs ( I was only 23 when I had my daughter with Downs Syndrome!) it's just that the chances are that much greater for that and other issues. We had no previous instances of genetic defects or issues in mine nor his family, I was young, healthy and in great shape ( wish I could still say that: )! ) - it was just "one of those things".

 

I don't think that the dr's are trying to scare women- just inform them of any potential issues.

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http://www.medicine.ox.ac.uk/bandoli...isk/Downs1.jpg

 

Here is a graph to show how the risk of downs increases with age. You can see how even at 40, it's 1 in 100. Not something like 80%. The risk has increased but it's still a relatively low risk.

 

I've definitly gotten pressure from some people to have kids early. I'm 27 now & I still want to wait a few years.

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On a side note, there have been leaps and bounds of research on freezing your own eggs. It's better to collect healthy eggs earlier (i.e. 25-30 years old). I just started working at a fertility clinic. Many women don't feel the rush (like myself) to hurry up and make a family. I'm 37 and I barely got married a month ago. All the current literature in my office says I'm officially on the border of high risk pregnancies. I'm not gonna worry for a couple more years. My mom had me when she was 38.

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