Jump to content

Having a baby after you turn 35 years old? Does age really matter?


samanthag

Recommended Posts

The doctor has to tell you everything, thats their job. Aside of listening to them everything else is up to you. If you feel that you are happy and healthy enough to raise a child then go for it. Who cares how old you are. God only gives you what he thinks you can handle.... Good luck with everything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 47
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Katy - you explained it exactly how I feel. "but I don't want to have a baby just because I need to have one before I am 30 or 35" I KNOW that is what is going to happen with Matt and me. We were both 29 at the wedding, and we want to wait ideally 3-5 years. But I really think we won't wait that long (at least 2 though) cuz I am scared to have problems!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not just talk that having a baby over 35 carries more complications than it does for a younger woman. We produce eggs when we start menstruating and we have those same eggs until we go through menopause. The doctors just want you to be aware of the increased risks for complications as you age since, although society is waiting to have babies at a later age, our bodies are not. It is also harder for a woman to conceive at a later age. My mom had children at 23, 32, & 34 and miscarriages at 35 & 37. It's not a scare tactic. It's the doctor's job to make sure you are aware of the increased risks that waiting causes. Not to say that you won't have a healthy baby (I think there was a 60 year old who delivered recently) but you have to take all that into account.

 

Another thing you can do is freeze your eggs now so that when you start trying, you are using the younger eggs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The reason it is riskier to have a baby after 35 is mostly because the risk of Down's increases more after this age - BUT it is still a low risk. If you are over 35, you are considered a "high risk" pregnancy, but this just means they'll watch you a little more closely. You don't have to be on bedrest or anything like that just because of your age.

Your gynecologist shouldn't have made you feel bad. The risks are still low and you need to do what is right for you and your fiance at the time, and shouldn't feel pressured to have a baby sooner based on your age.

If it makes you feel better, I have a lot of friends who are doctors (including ob/gyn) and most of them are in their early 30s and just starting to think about having a baby. A lot of doctors themselves don't start having children until their mid-30s, so obviously it isn't that bad...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did a little research on this for a paper a few years ago, and health risks for the baby (and complications for the mother) slightly increased between 30-35 (hardly, but slightly), and then more so from 35-40, but it was only after 40 that the risks were considerably higher.

 

So I wouldn't be too worried about having a kid at 35ish, but I would if I was closer to 40.

 

Also by late 30s many people say they don't have the energy levels they had a few years earlier to handle the sleepless nights and running after young kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From the bottom of my heart, grouphug.gif

 

Thanks for all of your encouraging words!!!!!!

 

 

My doctor has been saying this for a few years now. At the end of every visit he says, " So Samantha when are we thinking of having kids..." I would always laugh & totally ignore the question but now that I am getting closer to 35 I guess it's starting to bug me now. I mean, in no way do I feel my age much less be able to swallow someone telling me that I might have problems when I "decide" I'm ready?

 

I feel better that I have shared this with all of you and I sincerely appreciate you sharing your personal stories...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a few thoughts- you can be healthy, fit and under 35 to have a child with Downs ( I was only 23 when I had my daughter with Downs Syndrome!) it's just that the chances are that much greater for that and other issues. We had no previous instances of genetic defects or issues in mine nor his family, I was young, healthy and in great shape ( wish I could still say that: )! ) - it was just "one of those things".

 

I don't think that the dr's are trying to scare women- just inform them of any potential issues.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://www.medicine.ox.ac.uk/bandoli...isk/Downs1.jpg

 

Here is a graph to show how the risk of downs increases with age. You can see how even at 40, it's 1 in 100. Not something like 80%. The risk has increased but it's still a relatively low risk.

 

I've definitly gotten pressure from some people to have kids early. I'm 27 now & I still want to wait a few years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On a side note, there have been leaps and bounds of research on freezing your own eggs. It's better to collect healthy eggs earlier (i.e. 25-30 years old). I just started working at a fertility clinic. Many women don't feel the rush (like myself) to hurry up and make a family. I'm 37 and I barely got married a month ago. All the current literature in my office says I'm officially on the border of high risk pregnancies. I'm not gonna worry for a couple more years. My mom had me when she was 38.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...