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SunBride

If you can't make the wedding, at least do something to show you care

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Yeah mine have been non existant also! FMIL hasn't even asked FI if he needs anything or what he wants as a wedding present! Now I know we are 6 months out but I know it won't change lol

 

My friends can be really flaky once my m8 had my bday present for 4 months she couldn't be arsed to drive 12 miles to drop it off and so I picked it up when I dropped hers off!

 

I learnt a long time ago people are self involved lol

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Does anyone have stories to share of how people who weren't there did something special to show they were thinking of you or were there in spirit? (i.e. a message to be read on your wedding day personally or by somebody else, giving you something to wear etc)

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i hear you all. we are no longer friends with a lot of our "friends" because they didnt even acknowledge our wedding. like not even responding to our RSVP, not calling me back when i left them a voicemail or email saying "hey i'm sure you've just been busy but i just wanted to confirm you arent coming since you didnt send the RSVP back" - we even emailed a few of them to get together after our wedding to show photos and stuff, and they didnt even return our messages. my own grandmother did not acknowledge my wedding at all - no call, no card, no gift, not before & not afterwards either. she was angry at me for having a DW and for other stupid reasons that dont warrant the way she behaved. my MOTHER, who i have not spoken to since november 2007, also did not acknowledge our wedding day, and did not come. my sister did not come to the wedding and has not spoken to me since she backed out of being my MOH back in May; she also did not acknowledge my wedding day with a call, email or card, let alone a gift.

 

i've sent a card to every friend who got married, whether i was invited or not. it hurt me so much to have so few people recognize the happiest day of our lives.

 

we JUST recently got a really shitty gift that was cheap & not even from our registry (and of course has no gift receipt, and we think it's a regift also to boot) from some friends of my DH's that shouldve at LEAST sent a card on time - my DH loaned his multi-thousand dollar drum kit to his friend's son so he could learn to play, because they couldnt afford to buy the kid his own set (who could in a recession like this?) -my point being, my husband did a VERY nice thing to let them borrow the drum kit we wouldve otherwise put in storage. and they couldnt even be bothered to email or send a card on time.

 

in fact, aside from one text message from one of my cousins who couldnt go to mexico, the only other people i heard from via text message, blackberry messenger & email on the day before, day of, and day after my wedding were my closest friends from BDW. how sad is it that our internet friends love us more than our families sometimes? KWIM?

 

i have gone out of my way to be helpful to my girlfriends who are now engaged because i know what it's like to be on the shit end of the stick when noone cares enough to help you, or they offer but then never fulfill that obligation when you ask for help.

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So this is a tangent from Neen's thread http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t31301

 

So having been through that one myself, I've decided that from now on I am mailing a card to everyone I know well who gets married, regardless of whether I am giving a gift, whether I can attend, whether I'm even invited in the first place. If they are somebody even minorly important to me they are getting a card and if I am missing the wedding then an email on the day a few days before (and another one the day of if they are more important to me), to let them know I am thinking of them.

 

You know, my father's ex was such a classy lady that she would even email the day after we went out for lunch and such. I have really tried to do that too. It's amazing what a difference just a short personal note can make. Just to let people know that you care and had a great time, no matter what the occasion.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunBride View Post
Does anyone have stories to share of how people who weren't there did something special to show they were thinking of you or were there in spirit? (i.e. a message to be read on your wedding day personally or by somebody else, giving you something to wear etc)
My daughter's best friend, 'B' (and that is exactly what Katie calls her), made a really hard decision not to come to Mexico, after she'd paid a deposit for the trip and her dress. She still went with us to get the dress fitted and paid for it even knowing she would probably never wear it. She had taken an exam to become a CMA (Certified Management Accountant) and failed it. She found out that the retake was the week after we were returning from Mexico. She couldn't afford to fail the exam because it was tied into her employment. So she stayed home to study and she did pass it the second time :)

However, she was a part of organizing the bachorlorette party. She came to the fittings and paid for the dress as if she were still going. And then she wrote a note, that she gave to my younger daughter, to be taken to Mexico and given to Katie the morning of the wedding.

And then she called me, right after her exam on the Monday (We returned from Mexico early Saturday morning but Katie stayed another week) to come over and see pictures and to hear all about the wedding!

I think I better let Katie know how much she should appreciate B :)

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awww...definitely make sure your daughter knows what a good friend she has (although I'm sure she already knows)...that little story warmed my heart, thanks for sharing!

 

my best friend "C" was coming to my mexico wedding until she got a boyfriend who lived across the country and spent all her money flying to see him this past year and is now too broke to come...she has enough money to go see him three more times before my wedding in January though - can't believe she actually had the balls to tell me that, but whatever :/ loving a man can make people do crazy things...like forget you love your friends too. god, i'm so bratty right now, sorry ladies!!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by neen View Post
but whatever :/ love of man can make people do crazy things
ain't that the truth!

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Originally Posted by Maura View Post
i hear you all. we are no longer friends with a lot of our "friends" because they didnt even acknowledge our wedding. like not even responding to our RSVP, not calling me back when i left them a voicemail or email saying "hey i'm sure you've just been busy but i just wanted to confirm you arent coming since you didnt send the RSVP back" - we even emailed a few of them to get together after our wedding to show photos and stuff, and they didnt even return our messages. my own grandmother did not acknowledge my wedding at all - no call, no card, no gift, not before & not afterwards either. she was angry at me for having a DW and for other stupid reasons that dont warrant the way she behaved. my MOTHER, who i have not spoken to since november 2007, also did not acknowledge our wedding day, and did not come. my sister did not come to the wedding and has not spoken to me since she backed out of being my MOH back in May; she also did not acknowledge my wedding day with a call, email or card, let alone a gift.

We had the same problems! It annoyed me so much that people didn't have the courtesy to send back the RSVP cards that had a stamp on them! All they had to do was mark yes or no and put it in the mailbox. I got really mad about that. It made me think that people just got our wedding invites and threw them in the trash! It made me reevaluate who my real friends/family are.

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Everyone has had the same problem, and Im pretty sure its not exclusive to DW's either. Although probably more pronounced!

I've realized that when it all comes down to it - no one really gives a shit about your wedding. We're all so self-involved! Like Ive said in previous posts - We've given up worrying about who's making it to the wedding. FI and I are gonna be drinking beers on the beach in Jamaica for 2 weeks, happy that we decided to get married away from freezing cold Canada!

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Originally Posted by Sloan View Post
Everyone has had the same problem, and Im pretty sure its not exclusive to DW's either. Although probably more pronounced!
I've realized that when it all comes down to it - no one really gives a shit about your wedding. We're all so self-involved! Like Ive said in previous posts - We've given up worrying about who's making it to the wedding. FI and I are gonna be drinking beers on the beach in Jamaica for 2 weeks, happy that we decided to get married away from freezing cold Canada!
Ditto!! Just replace Jamaica with Dominican Republic & 2 weeks with 1 (unfortunately!). Well said!

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