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Getting Rid of a Pet Advice??

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#1 MonoAmor

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    Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:18 PM

    Okay so I know there is a lot of animal lovers on this forum (Ive seen the adorable pics!), myself included. I have a beautiful and sociable kitty that is about 2 and a half years old. I have had a cat since I was a baby and when my old when died, I got the one I currently have the day after.
    The problem now is that FI is not an animal lover at all. He thinks she is a waste of time and money to have in the house and would prefer if I got rid of her. He doesnt want to have a pet in the house with children and says he wont start trying as long as she is here. He is so insistant that he uses it as a bargaining chip for everything. She mainly lives in our basement because I believe she senses how much he doesnt like her and she stays clear of him. He has so many rules for her, ie not allowed on carpet, furniture, or touching clothing and will yell at her and scare her if she breaks any rules. I find this rediculous. I do not want to get rid of her because the only option I have is to take her to a shelter and I dont think I have the ability to do that to her. I have just moved to a new town and dont know anyone who can take her. Has anyone ever gotten rid of a pet? How were you able to do it?

    #2 TammyWright


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    Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:26 PM

    i hate to say it but your fiance sounds very immature and also a little heartless to use your kitty as a "bargaining" chip to get what he wants.

    i think you really need to have a long talk with your fiance and not let him bully you like this. if he loves you, he should accept your kitty.

    before i got engaged my now husband was allergic to cats and wanted me to get rid of mine. i told him that was a deal breaker and if he loved me he would accept the cats....not only did he accept the cats but also loves them like his own and actually takes better care of them then i do (ie. makes their grooming appointments, got them an automatic litter box).

    i knew by the way he treated my cats that my husband would be a fantastic fatehr and it made me love him so much more.

    you sort of have to wonder about someone who cannot open his heart to something that means so much to you...

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    #3 rodent


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      Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:29 PM

      we moved into a rental house when i was 10 & had to find a new home for our dog. we definitly would not have taken him to a shelter. my mom asked around at work until she found someone that wanted a dog. We'd visit him when we were back in town.

      I see flyers around work all the time of someone looking for a home for a pet. One said "girlfriend alergic to my cat." Someone wrote on the poster "keep the cat, get a new girlfriend." it made me laugh :)

      we have also gotten dogs from the "free pets" section of the classifieds. craigslist might work too. just make sure the cat is going to a good home.

      Is your cat black? If so, you might want to wait until after halloween. i've heard shelters will not give out black cats before halloween because some people would get them just for a halloween party.

      #4 KLC77

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        Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:34 PM

        I don't know that I have any good advice for you. I am an animal lover, especially cats. I have two and they sleep on my pillow under and under the covers half the time! lol So, let's just say that I'm the opposite of your FI. I could never imagine giving up a pet. It would be so hard. My FI has bad allergies and I told him to suck it up or get some medication because the cats were here before him and they aren't the ones who would go if a choice had to be made. (I was kind of kidding but not really) Anyway, he deals with it and loves them now too and I have compromised by never letting them in the bedroom any more so he has a hair free zone. Have you tried to explain to your FI just how hard it would be to give up a pet? Its not like you can just drop the cat off somewhere without knowing it would be taken care of by someone else in a good and loving home. Has he explained what he doesn't like about the cat? They can be wonderful companions.

        Originally Posted by MonoAmor
        He has so many rules for her, ie not allowed on carpet, furniture, or touching clothing and will yell at her and scare her if she breaks any rules.
        Out of everything you wrote the part above is what concerns me most. She's a cat. She doesn't understand "rules" and is probably so confused when he's yelling at her. Maybe I'm looking to far into this, but does he know that kids are messy and won't understand rules either?

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        #5 bridetobe959

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          Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:36 AM

          Im sorry but I fully agree with tammy in that your FI is being very immature. You should not have to give up an animal you love so much. Im sure if he had a companion you would accept it even if you didn't really care for it. On the other hand if you need to find a home for your kitty you might want to do a search in your area for pet adoption groups. Usually they are run by volunteers who rescue pets that are unwanted, stray, or in high kill shelters an then place them in loving homes. It may take them a few weeks to find a place but at least the kitty wont end up with the risk of being euthanized at a shelter.

          #6 FLgator

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            Posted 13 October 2008 - 05:56 AM

            The Humane Society is a no kill shelter, although I don't think you should have to give your kitty up either!

            #7 Banana11

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              Posted 13 October 2008 - 07:14 AM

              Although I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't have to give up your kitty, if your FI is going to continue to treat the cat this badly, it would probably be better off in a loving home. Not a good sign the cat is happy if it's living in your basement.

              Make sure if you put an ad anywhere, you don't list it as "free" or "free to good home". I had to give up my bunnies a long time ago and was told by the humane society to never do that. You want someone to adopt them that cares enough to pay.

              I also think regardless of what you decide to do, your FI needs a large kick in the ass! This is not how you treat animals, the woman you love, or handle a situation you don't agree with. He knows you want kids and is holding it over your head. Sounds like he has control issues. Don't start off a marriage like that. He needs to understand how to respect you and animals.

              Sorry you are going through this. I can tell how much you love your kitty. Your kitty needs you to be it's voice and stick up for it. When you adopt an animal that's the responsibility you take. Good luck.

              #8 Jennifer Davis

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                Posted 13 October 2008 - 07:24 AM

                I am so sad reading this post. Your fiance needs some serious straightening out. You should NOT get rid of your kitty.

                Animals (dogs and cats) love their people. All these animals have is you and they depend on you to love them, care for them and keep them healthy. When you got your cat, you made the commitment to keep your pet safe and happy. While you go to work, vacation, out to dinner, your animal is at home waiting for you - excited for you to come home. For your fiance to simply want you to turn your cat out on the street, well, that is just wrong and mean!

                I also think animals are GREAT for children. They teach children responsibility. My parents insisted that we had animals throughout our childhood.

                #9 Hartyt509

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                  Posted 13 October 2008 - 08:11 AM

                  You aren't going to like this but I'd get rid of FI before the cat!!

                  When I met FI I said look I have a rottie she is the love of my life and always will be so if she likes you you can stay if not you're gone lol Unfortunatley meg loves him lmao

                  Then I found out he was a dog handler/trainer in the army pmsl

                  Seriously tho if he is this controlling with a cat and uses it against you i dread to think what he would be like with kids. I could understand it if he was allergic but when he met you you had the cat so tough shite!!

                  Just my opinion but the cat would be staying

                  #10 **~Jenn~**

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                    Posted 13 October 2008 - 08:52 AM

                    I think that you are seeing your FI's true colors. And while it may sound silly for some people to say, get rid of the FI over a cat...It actually makes ALOT of sense. You can tell alot about someone by how they treat animals, and more importantly....how they treat an animal that YOU love...Even if they dont.
                    My FI isn't fond of my Cat..mainly because she prefers me and she isn't a Snuggly, Cuddly cat..However...He knew from DAY ONE...my cat is a package deal with me...The only way I would ever rehome my animals is if , god Forbid I had children who were severely allergic and that was my only option...other then that...Our animals can't be treated as disposable "things" that an be tossed away.
                    Please, Please reconsider....Sit your FI down and lay it out for him...Put your foot down. Don't let him walk all over you like this and demand your respect...You deserve it and so does your cat.
                    Also...Kitten season is barely over...The shelters are STILL packed with Kittens and Cats. It's not a good situation and your Kitty may not have a fighting chance.
                    And as Morgan said...If your Cat is black, Please wait until after halloween to Rehome her...People like to perform rituals and other horrible things on Black cats this time of year. It's really important if you are rehoming her to a "stranger" that you do a Vet Check and always ask for a small rehoming fee....You can always waive it after if you think you found a good person.
                    This post makes me sad and I hope you stand up for your kitty and more importantly yourself.
                    Good luck in whatever you decide! :-)
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