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BM planning on proposing during our wedding trip


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#21 Sloan

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    Posted 01 October 2008 - 11:01 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tvt
    So Joe's BM is planning on proposing to his GF right at the begining of our wedding trip.

    Is this weird?

    Part of me says it is, part of me says don't let it bother me.
    We're actually trying to convince my FBIL to propose to his girlfriend the day AFTER our wedding in Jamaica. Both FI and I think that would be awesome, but only AFTER our big day has happened! I want all the "thunder" I can get.. haha

    #22 bumbles

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      Posted 01 October 2008 - 11:31 AM

      It's a tough situation! It's poor etiquette to propose during someone's wedding weekend, but then again, Mexico is a beautiful setting for a engagement.

      I llike Amarillis' idea of proposing beforehand. When you get engaged you want to jump up and down and let everyone know -- I know I did! Phone calls, talks of wedding planning, retelling the proposal story a million times to a million people, etc. If he proposed during your wedding weekend, she might feel like she has to hold back on all of that out of respect.

      What if:
      • He proposes a before the wedding, so she has her own "YAY, I am engaged" day to share w/ friends and family
      • He surprises her with a bag full of wedding magazines before they get on the plane to make things fun
      • He makes the trip extra special by arranging special activities to do together to celebrate during free time (private dinner on the beach, couples massage, etc)

      Every couple has a different style but just a thought!

      #23 boscobel

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        Posted 01 October 2008 - 11:46 AM

        Hmmm, so many ways to view this. I'd probably be annoyed cuz no matter how anyone cuts it (it's their vacation too), they are only there for YOUR wedding. However, guys aren't intuitive like that and he probably thinks it's romantic. She might also be annoyed that she is sharing her big engagement with your wedding. So it goes both ways. Personally, I would hate to be proposed to while away for the wedding weekend of someone else.

        But back to how you should feel about it... I thin you are feeling exactly the right way. A little annoyed, not too bothered, it's still your wedding and it will be perfect!

        Oh, and he should also be sure not to infringe on your festivities at all and make sure that he does the proposal not during any of your wedding-related dinners.

        #24 Jacqueline

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          Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:16 PM

          I think I'd be KINDA bothered but part of me wouldn't really care. BUT keep in mind though that I haven't been married yet, so a lot of the girls who are married probably have better advice, hence their experience.

          I do think it's tacky, ecsp if he does it before you're big day. Guys just don't look at it in that way though.

          Maybe you can have someone casually mention to the dude "...maybe you should hold off until the wedding's over.." and bring it up that way. He might honestly just not realize.

          #25 ACDCDCAC

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          Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:24 PM

          ok so after reading the full deal about it, as long as it doesnt happen AT or DURING one of YOUR wedding related events, i think it would be cool. esp since no one else really "knows" her.

          a big thing is to me tho, when doug proposed to me on our family vacation, NONE of our friends were with us, and my mom was at home, she didnt come on the trip because she volunteered to watch all our dogs. so i was REALLY sad not to be able to share it with my mom. but maybe this chick wont think of it like that since her whole family isnt there too. prolly.

          so ok what i'm now saying is i guess its cool. they cant really wait until the next day since they are leaving, that would kinda suck for them, but as long as its far enough away from your wedding and events its totally separate :)

          #26 Kat81

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            Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:33 PM

            I guess I am the minority. I don't think it is that big of a deal. Nobody there knows her so I am sure it won't be a big event. We celebrated one of our guests anniversarys while we were there and everyone had a lot of fun with it. If he does it at like the welcome dinner or at your reception yeah I would be pissed but he seems like he is trying to be considerate of you. And your FI gave him the go ahead. Just roll with it. Chances are if they get engaged they will spend a lot of time alone and not all up in your business anyway. Ps it would really suck if she said no though.....

            #27 rodent

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              Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:50 PM

              i tried to put myself in the same situation. there was a non-married couple at my wedding. i would have been really excited if they got engaged, off on their own. you are so full of joy & its such an exciting time that i think i would have just been thrilled for them. i loved seeing all the couples have such a romantic time at our wedding. i played each of their special songs before the ceremony when they were waiting on me.

              if he takes her off somewhere just the two of them a few days before the wedding & proposes, i don't think it will interfer. especially since no one their knows the couple. if it was a sibling it might get tricky.

              i've heard of so many people proposing at a wedding reception. I wasn't a bridezilla, but i would have quickly become one if someone did this.

              #28 RaydensMama

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                Posted 01 October 2008 - 03:34 PM

                I dunno, I think it would bother me. ITs suposed to be about YOU not some other girl. Thats me though. My sister told everyone at my wedding that she was pregnant and I never told her but I was pretty pissed off. Everyone I talked to was like, "Oh congratulations, that was so lovely, and I hear your sister is having another baby! Isnt that exciting??" I just felt like a bit of my day was stolen in a weird way. Thats JMO though!

                #29 Kat81

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                  Posted 01 October 2008 - 04:04 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by RaydensMama
                  I dunno, I think it would bother me. ITs suposed to be about YOU not some other girl. Thats me though. My sister told everyone at my wedding that she was pregnant and I never told her but I was pretty pissed off. Everyone I talked to was like, "Oh congratulations, that was so lovely, and I hear your sister is having another baby! Isnt that exciting??" I just felt like a bit of my day was stolen in a weird way. Thats JMO though!
                  That is a little different I think. That is your sister. She shares all the same family and such. This girl won't know anyone there so really nobody will care. I mean they might be excited for a minute but they will be over it just as fast. I would be SO pissed if my sister did that!!

                  #30 *Casey*

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                    Posted 01 October 2008 - 04:07 PM

                    I personally would be furious. Why does he think that this would be OK




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