Anyone else dealing with angry family?

[LCBride2007]

yea, right - no skin off my back! and since we ended up not doing a room block, we really didn't care who people booked through.

[rob4ever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by akh yea, right - no skin off my back! and since we ended up not doing a room block, we really didn't care who people booked through.

Ann, I'm wondering why you didn't do a room block? I'm trying to decide on doing that or not right now and would love to hear why you chose not to!

[DEE1978]

Shelley, Any improvement with your family?

Well, my DW and AHR seems to have angered another person...

Apparently I have upset my close friend. She has been hounding me about the date of AHR cause she lives on the West Coast and wants to combine my AHR with a her family visit in Maine and she needs to know cause the prices are going up! So I like you, I am under so much stress and pressure that I just wrote back "I do not know. Mark (FI)and I are under alot of stress and pressure from everyone wanting to know this and that cause they need to know and figure out what is best for them...well what about us? Maybe she should just plan her Maine trip cause I do not want to make her pay alot of $ especially when I do not have a date yet. We totally understand." Anyway, she wrote me an email saying she hopes my wedding and party goes well cause she cant come cause it is very important for her to be with her family in Maine." I f**** never said anything about her family not being important!!! It seems like she turned it all around on me! Am I being a total bitch? Girls, Why are all the weddings about everyone except the bride and groom? I need a drink or two....

[kay726]

No, you are not being a bitc@. For some strange reason, people's craziness really seems to come out with weddings . I really have stopped trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with friends and family when they intentionally want to put a damper on wedding happiness. Their behavior becomes irrational . Just know that you have your fiance's love and the both of you will have a wonderful wedding no matter who tries to poop on your joy.

[MikkiStreak]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debs All my STD's are out now, and I'm starting to deal with family/friends saying... oh I could have gotten you a better deal with so and so... ugh I just told them to call my TA with their ACTUAL quotes that they got from their people, and if they are legit, she will try to match, otherwise, do your own thing by all means

Our bestman is the same way. He suffers from "one-ups-manship" as I call it---- he has to get the better of every convesation. If we tell a story, he'll have a better one to tell, etc...

So FI looked at me yesterday and told me how BM has gone online to look for better deals on our wedding. He actually had some friend of his call my FI to tell him about this great deal we could get through some other travel agent for some other resort, etc... and we had already built our website, sent out STD, etc... I don't know what deals he thinks he's gotten since the resort rates aren't out yet....

I told FI he's going to be our problem child through all this---- he'll be the one talking to FI's family about how he can get them better deals, blah, blah, blah. I told FI to sit him down and get him to keep his f-ing mouth shut. He wants to plan a wedding, he needs to find a girl and do his own....

And sometimes it's not about getting the cheapest rate. I'd rather have a TA who deals with DW's on a constant basis and has a relationship with the resort and venders instead of some TA who does't know the in's and out's of DW issues to address up front...

[tinabop]

When I saw this thread I knew I had to read it, because it has been the story of my life. Dee, my FMIL sounds pretty much exactly like yours. Honestly I can't even remember all the hateful things she has said, but they have been along the lines of what your FMIL said to you. She has been nothing but disrespectful and petty, which hurts my fiance a lot because he wants her to be happy. Without going into a long saga, she wants us to get married by the Catholic Church, and of course the church won't do weddings outside. So there's that and it's also too expensive, no one will come, etc...seems to be what everyone is hearing from their family/friends. We did the same thing and gave everyone 16 months to save. So in my mind, the important people will come, because they are the ones that value us enough to save up. Of course this is not always the case due to certain financial situations, but we completely understand if someone can't come. I'll be happy if 10 people come (we invited 75). Despite FMIL, we are pretty lucky because everyone else has been wonderful and excited...and if they can't come, they graciously decline, no drama.

 

However, my fiance and I have learned a lot about ourselves and each other because of all this. We are learning to be stronger together, do what's right for us and our lives, and to ignore negative people...even if they are your family. Of course it is a long process, but everyday is making us stronger and preparing us, so I guess in the long run we can thank our crazy family!

 

PS Thanks for posting this, because it has helped me and my fiance to know other people go through it too!

[MikkiStreak]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinabop When I saw this thread I knew I had to read it, because it has been the story of my life. Dee, my FMIL sounds pretty much exactly like yours. Honestly I can't even remember all the hateful things she has said, but they have been along the lines of what your FMIL said to you. She has been nothing but disrespectful and petty, which hurts my fiance a lot because he wants her to be happy. Without going into a long saga, she wants us to get married by the Catholic Church, and of course the church won't do weddings outside. So there's that and it's also too expensive, no one will come, etc...seems to be what everyone is hearing from their family/friends. We did the same thing and gave everyone 16 months to save. So in my mind, the important people will come, because they are the ones that value us enough to save up. Of course this is not always the case due to certain financial situations, but we completely understand if someone can't come. I'll be happy if 10 people come (we invited 75). Despite FMIL, we are pretty lucky because everyone else has been wonderful and excited...and if they can't come, they graciously decline, no drama. However, my fiance and I have learned a lot about ourselves and each other because of all this. We are learning to be stronger together, do what's right for us and our lives, and to ignore negative people...even if they are your family. Of course it is a long process, but everyday is making us stronger and preparing us, so I guess in the long run we can thank our crazy family! PS Thanks for posting this, because it has helped me and my fiance to know other people go through it too!

That's the boat we're in with FI's mom and sister. His sister asks us every week if we've considered her offer to get reduced rates for the cathedral she works at. His mom called last week to tell us that since we aren't getting married in the church, that we can't take communion after we get married. I don't think she appreciated my return comment of, "That's ok, we won't miss that stale flat bread anyway."

Altho, I hope I got something of my point across this weekend. His sis was talking about a family member who is having a quince simply because the other grandmother wants it and the girl and grandmother are getting quite "diva" about it. So I pointed out that hey, if grandma isn't paying for the quince, she needs to keep her mouth shut. His sis wholeheartedly agreed.

Then I brought it around and said, "kind of like our wedding.... we have a lot of people trying to talk us into doing what they want because they think it's what's best for us. Well, until they open their pocketbooks and start coughing up the dough, they can keep their mouths shut- they don't get a say in it."

She was silent. Point taken.

[DEE1978]

hey Tina!

 

Thank you for posting cause I so needed to hear that you and your FI are even stonger and etc. Your last paragraph was very comforting. Yeah, my Fi has said if there ever is a time where he was asked to pick a side, it would be be me without a doubt. It is just FMIL, FFIL as well as my close friend (?) that have been really selfish.

I think we will only have about 8-10 people which is fine with me but of FMIL manipulated us into having an AHR (sigh).

Too bad we don't live close to each other cause we could vent and cry to each other:)

 

~DENISE

[JENESIS]

[

QUOTE=akh;54333]I guess I got lucky then, my in-laws are 100% Irish (all born and raised over there, and many still live there).WHY ISN"T THE ABOVE QUOTE IN A WHITE BOX?

 

Mine are as well. They have been soooooooo supportive and excited about this. One the other hand the Americans (my family) have been complaining from day 1.

 

It is not fair that anyone should ahve to receive such grief for her own wedding. It's a happy time and all should celebrate it.

 

At this point, I just try to ignore my family's negativity and focus on Gavin and his family. They have the right idea. They are happy.

 

In the end it's our day, and if they don't find it important or find it something to be happy about then I'm not going to discuss it with them. If they show, they show. Invitations went out ove rthe last couple weeks. We'll see what happens. I already received a couple that made me reeaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyy mad. I'm sure there will be more.

[Mishi]

You know, it never surprieses me how many people are miserable and just want to bring everyone else into their sinking shit too!

 

I have complained in every thread about my family too, so this won't be anything new, but mine is the very opposite. Both of our families have nothing but great things to say and are soooo loving, but my entire side (the 8 most special people to me in the whole world) did not think I was important enough to save $650 over the last year that they have known I was getting married.

 

Now, at the last minute with just three weeks to go, the price has gone up to about $850 and they are crying broke! It really pisses me off to tell you the truth, and hurts my feelings.

 

But, I have come up with a new rule... the "DGAS" rule... I really just "DONT GIVE A $h1+" anymore. As I said before, as long as my FI and I are there, thats all that is important, we are gonna be the ones there for the next 80 years!!!

If anyone else cares to show up- they will have a blast!