Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
dainanewell

My FI said he doesn't want to get married....and our wedding is in less than 3 months

Recommended Posts

I am very sorry to hear this is happening to you. Hopefully tomorrow you will have a fresh view of what the hell is happening. I know my husbands business failed right before we got married so he was terrified about money so we moved it local. Stay strong and do what feels right!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Glad to read that he has talked some with you. He needs to be doing more of it.

 

Speaking from personal experience, losing your job puts you through an emotional ringer and you become a huge a-hole to the people around you for no good reason. Let's hope this is the case. Have you tried helping him with his job search and asking him what he needs from you to work thorugh this as a family? I know once I got job searching and found a new job, I had a whole heck of alot of apologizing to do to my FI for the nasty stuff I said when I was so depressed over being jobless and terrified of losing our home.

 

If by chance this is not a result of the job loss, a bit of advice along with what some of the other ladies said, have him leave the house. Not to be negative, just realistic, if you leave and he decides to change the locks, what then? You and your kids are stuck out on the street. It happened a few weeks ago to my sister, who is in the process of ending a bad marriage. She first had him leave, he came back a few days later, started in on her again to the point she couldn't take it anymore, then she and the kids left to stay with my parents for a few days while he was supposedly moving out. When she came back, all her stuff was outside and the locks changed. She now has to wait for the courts to decide who gets the house and custody even though the kids are with her.

 

Be wise about all this, he can't leave you in limbo and I pray that he is just going through a bad time because of his job loss and this is going to work out for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, let me just say that I am SO, SO sorry you're going through this right now.

 

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, but you need to sit down with FI and really talk to him - make him tell you what's going on in his head. Ask the kinds of questions to get him to really talk to you - the sorts of questions where you don't give him possible answers but actually probe into his thoughts and feelings.

 

I'm hoping (so very much) that it's a panicky-cold-feet-lost-my-job reaction, and that it will pass.

 

But, in the interim, you DON'T leave. If someone has to go it's him. And frankly, until he gets this straightened out, I'd also have him sleep on the couch/guest room. It's no fair to you to have him tell you he doesn't want to marry you and then come join you in bed. That's just too much of an emotional roller coaster.

 

Stay strong, and let us know how we can help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's a really good sign that he doesn't want you to tell your parents yet. It's like he's saying that he's not totally and absolutely sure about what his heart really wants. I really think that he'll come around with time and be more willing to talk to you about how he really feels. Just be loving towards him and stay strong. My thoughts are with you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jeez, that's crazy and I am sorry that you are dealing with this! I don't have much advice to offer, except to let you know we are always here. Big hugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry your going through this. It sounds like he's going through a rough time right now and maybe depressed. But he should talk to you about it. That's not fair to you for him to say he doesnt want to get married but offer no explanation as of why. Have you thought about going to couples counseling? I heard it's really helpful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Glad to hear that you got to talk a little. Did he come back so you guys could finish the conversation? I agree with the other ladies, you definitely shouldn't be the one to leave. He should make other arrangments if he needs any time to think or be alone. Hopefully you guys are able to talk and you get some answers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We finally talked and agreed to try to make it work....i still dont know if he wants to get married but hopefully he will answer that question soon...thanks Ladies

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Dental care would be very challenging when you are invited to a wedding. Everyone needs a clean and white teeth. I was also looking for a dental clinic in Toronto but all of the Doctor were busy. This was when I found Walk in Dental Clinic in Yonge Street just south of Steels. Since they were open until midnight, I did not have to leave my work early to get to my dentist. This dental clinic used dental veneers for my teeth and at the wedding everyone was asking me how I created my smile very nice.  The fact that they accept emergency patients for dental care is also very good. before the wedding, I recommend using this dentistry. If you need emergency dental care in Toronto visit Dr Karimi and Walk in dental clinic for their great patient care and service. 
    • I'm so sorry to hear this  Did you have a signed contract with him? What did he or the contract say the turn around time be? If it is way past the deadline, you have made several documented attempts to contact him, and he has broken your contract and failed to produce what has been promised, you could resort to writing an online review of your experience -- often times, that motivates vendors who've dropped the ball to rectify the situation because it affects other potential clients. 
    • STAY AWAY FROM CARIBBEAN EMOTIONS PHOTOGRAPHY!!!! Michael Weiler is a SCAMMER he took our money and disappeared!! we hired him as our photographer for our wedding back in November, he gave us a run around for the first week or 2 saying our pictures are almost ready and then disappeared. we have been sending him emails, texts and phone calls for the past 4 months and he is now where to be found. I made a fake account to email him and he answered right away as he is only interested in taking peoples money and not give anything in return.
    • For weddings you should definitely use a travel agent as there are promotions and amenities with a group block that you will not get by booking individually like comped rooms, upgrades, spa treatments, etc.
    • Congratulations and welcome to the forum! There are lots of great resort options in Punta Cana and we have stayed at or toured many of them.  Are you looking for a family friendly resort or adults only?  What you interested in with nature and the ceremony? All of the resorts will have different wedding locations and there are also a variety of off resort wedding venues in Punta Cana. Please feel free to email us at info@wrighttravelagency.com if you'd like us to send resort info and check group rates. Thanks! Patty
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...