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My FI said he doesn't want to get married....and our wedding is in less than 3 months


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#61 foxytv

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    Posted 28 September 2008 - 10:36 AM

    My DH always says that a man's self worth comes from his job, first and foremost ... and in a lot of ways I do agree. When a man loses his job, he can lose a lot of his pride and self-esteem as well, and can feel like he is a failure (I am sure this is true of us women too!). SO, this "don't want to get married" bit could be his 'easy way out' for not feeling as though he is a good provider. Is he actively looking for work? Have money saved? Times like these should bring you closer together b/c you lean on and rely on each other - not tear you apart ... but everyone is different. If he's not willing to talk things out or make a deicision, the other gals are right - you are going to have to make a move for him. It's better to give your guests as much of a heads up as possible - some will probably still go and consider it a vacation ... but that's not your concern.

    10 years is a long time, and 2 kids, for this type of reaction from him now. Please keep us posted and vent as often as necessary - that's what we're here for.

    Lots of hugs being sent your way!!!!

    #62 HaleGrifa

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      Posted 28 September 2008 - 10:52 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by dainanewell
      I am so shocked....I cant believe this is really happening.....my FI has been acting weird for about a month (he lost his job)....he seems really depressed....and yesterday out of the blue he just said he doesn't want to get married....because he doesn't feel the same way about me.........I'm so confused....we've been together for 10 years...have two kids and live together....how can he just all of a sudden say that....I dont know what to do.....He's still at our house and so am I.....he is acting so weird....he wanted me to go out to play poker last night but didn't want to talk about what's going on....I didn't go...I was to depressed to go.....so he freaked out and left till 3 am.......he came home and slept in the same bed as me........I dont know what to do.....do I leave?....DO i STAY?...do I give him time to think about it?......I really need some insight...PLEASE
      This is shocking - I myself would not give him the time of day! If this is how he plans on living his life why would you want to enter into a marriage with this man - better or worse - richer or poorer!

      You are too good for that - why hang around! What if something comes up in the future is he going to bail on you - some father!

      A marriage is about working together and communicating, he can`t do that.

      I know that you love him 10 years is a long time - but better to know now!

      take care (you are too good for him)

      #63 lscilley

      lscilley
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        Posted 28 September 2008 - 11:41 AM

        Stay strong sweetie I can't believe he is still playing this mind game with you. I agree that if he is acting like this you are too good for him and you should defiently put your foot down and end things and tell your parents if you want to. Remember this is your life and the most important thing is yours and yours childrens happiness!

        #64 dainanewell

        dainanewell
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          Posted 28 September 2008 - 02:51 PM

          Thanks for all the support ladies....he told me last night that it was over for good....I told my parents and I'm starting to feel better.....I will be fine and so will my children.....Thanks

          #65 tvt

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            Posted 28 September 2008 - 02:59 PM

            Diana, I am so sorry.

            #66 Hartyt509

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              Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:04 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by dainanewell
              Thanks for all the support ladies....he told me last night that it was over for good....I told my parents and I'm starting to feel better.....I will be fine and so will my children.....Thanks
              I'm so sorry at least can now move forward and make yourself a great life for you and your children. If I did it anyone can

              #67 Angel

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                Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:15 PM

                I am so sorry to hear. Stay strong for your children.

                #68 Kelly C

                Kelly C
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                  Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:19 PM

                  I'm so sorry sweetie! At least you have a answer and you can move on with your parents support. I would rather know now that a couple months after the wedding. If this is how is going to treat you now you don't need it. Sending big hugs your way!!!
                  Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.

                  http://i295.photobuc....e/IMG_9487.jpg

                  #69 meagan

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                    Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:20 PM

                    I am so sorry! As they say one door closes and another one opens. At least you can fimnd comfort that you found out now instead of a month from now, or even a year from now. You are definately too good for him. One day he is going to kick himself in the ass for letting you go. Stay strong!

                    #70 lmg970

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                      Posted 28 September 2008 - 03:45 PM

                      oh honey, my heart goes out to you.




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