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FI's dad trying to get him LAID before the wedding!!!

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#21 *Casey*

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    Posted 11 September 2008 - 11:59 AM

    Originally Posted by gossip girl
    Reading that was so strange because believe it or not my FI has a father who is very similar to that. The only difference is my FI no longer has any type of relationship with him and his dad took off to live in China. (And frequently visits Thailand and then sends my FI emails about all the women there). In his last correspondence he mentioned that his visa is running out so he will have to marry "either his current commonlaw spouse who is 30, or his girlfriend in Laos who is 18" His dad is 70. Like that is just disgusting. My FI is completely grossed out by it. And I know it upsets him so much. His father would act the same way if he was invited to the wedding. Which he is not.

    I understand a little about what you are going through because not wedding related necessarily, but this has caused several issues with our relationship. The best thing to do is talk to your FI about how you are feeling. And work on a solution together. You shouldn't take the brunt of this stress because it really isn't fair.

    Just know that you aren't the only one with these crazy situations!!! Everyone has them and you will get through it :)
    Thanks! that gives me a little bit more peace of mind.

    #22 Celina

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      Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:02 PM

      Originally Posted by Amarillis
      I think you should find solace in sharing the crazy nutjob FFIL story with us.

      You could however, discuss this AFTER the wedding with you MIL, or even your mom.

      Based on what you have said daddy-whorebucks isn't really in the picture, so discussion after the wedding IMO wouldn't be bad... mostly because you nor your mom, nor your FMIL, will see him....

      just a thought.
      Daddy-Whorebucks.........IS HILLARIOUS! Case - I would be pissed too! Keep your distance from his slimy ass. Have faith that Stu is a good man and after the wedding I would do what I could to keep him away. What an ugly and pathetic excuse for a man. He obviously has no respect for women.

      Continue to foster the relationship with his step dad. What a jerk!
      "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

      #23 Yari

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        Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:19 PM

        What a slimeball...yuck! Of course you have a right to be mad. I wouldn't be upset with your FI's reaction though, he probably was embarassed and so over his father.

        #24 rodent


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          Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:25 PM

          he doesn't sound like a great man. i wouldn't be mad at the FI for not going off on him though. its really hard when you know you have a parent who is very flawed, but you want to still love them even if you don't respect them.

          #25 EricaG

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            Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:42 PM

            That is just not acceptable the way his dad is acting. You don't say that to soeone about to get married. You should be proud that your son has found love and wants to soend the rest of his life with someone. Just because he has no respect for women obviously, doesn't mean no one does. I wouldn't be upset with Stu, as he was probably caught totally off guard by the comment. If he isn't one for confrontation, then that would be another reason he didn't stand up to his dad. At least he turned downt he offer and told you about it! We are here for you to talk to and to vent to.
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            #26 Ana


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            Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:49 PM

            OMG that would totally make me angry!! I secretly don't know if I'd be able to keep my mouth shut about it either. But I understand why your FI didn't tell his dad off too. I think he probably just doesn't want to deal with the conflict of it. Its a bit of a sticky situation and sometimes guys just don't want to deal with a confrontation. My FI and his dad had a similar encounter (although not call-girl/skank related) and he didn't go off on his dad either. If it bothers you I would bring it up to him and let him know that you're disappointed that he let his dad go so easily. Ask him how he would feel if your mom suggested something similar and your response was only a generic excuse without really calling her out on how inappropriate it is. You probably just want him to validate your feelings and your relationship and make it clear to his dad that he is not like him, right? Once I explained things calmly to Michael and gave him visual examples he totally understood. Just try to put the situation into a visual scenario for him that would hurt him if it actually happened and he'll totally get your point of view.

            #27 Banana11

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              Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:50 PM

              If your FI went off on his dad it wouldn't do any good. Doesn't sound like his dad is capable of understand another point of view. He sounds like he has tunnel vision if he assumes Stu would want to go just because he enjoys it. It also sounds like he's very disrespectful towards women in general. Probably why he didn't talk to you when you had dinner together. What a creep!!!

              #28 *Casey*

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                Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:54 PM

                It's almost like his dad is miserable, and just wants someone to be miserable with. Like he doesn't want Stu to be happy because he isn't. How could anyone seriously be that selfish?

                #29 Dez921714

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                  Posted 11 September 2008 - 01:26 PM

                  I am speahless.

                  But I do agree that FI probably thought he was crazy too, or else he wouldn't have said anything to you.
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                  #30 jajajaja

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                    Posted 11 September 2008 - 01:32 PM

                    Ok so I'm kinda lazy and didn't read all the posts so sorry if this has been said. :)

                    First of all- yes, your FI's dad sounds like a complete slimeball. Not just what he said, but for all things he's done to his son/family. Jerk.

                    All that aside though, I don't think you should be too concerned that your FI didn't go off on his dad. It's kinda pointless to have those types of conversations with idiots. What would really come out of the situation? Would the dad be more respectful and not try to pimp his son out to prostitutes? Probably not. The dad sounds like he is just a complete mess and I'm sure your FI recognizes that. Sometimes it's just best to look at the person for what they are and blow off all the shit that comes out of their mouth. KWIM? There is no use in letting their idiocy affect you.

                    I can completely understand why you are perturbed though. I'm not trying to convey that you are silly- AT ALL. I clearly think FI's dad is a f*ck up. I just don't think you should let him impact you and add more stress to an already stressful situation. Your FI sounds like a good man. He's honest, so you really have nothing to worry about. :)
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