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FSIL/BF skipped my shower, feelings are hurt

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#11 DanielleNDerek

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    Posted 02 September 2008 - 03:34 PM

    I would just ask her why she didn't go on Sunday. And let her know that you missed her being there. I don't think it hurts if you ask nicely. I think you should let her know that you were dissappointed. It'll make you feel better.
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    #12 Amarillis

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      Posted 02 September 2008 - 03:57 PM


      I think you are right... If I attempt to say something tactfully, and nicely, it shouldn't cause a commotion.

      I guess at the end of the day, she really hurt my feelings, and without them there at the BBQ my bridal party was short the BM...

      I should be focusing on the amazing time we had on the weekend.

      So many people travelled from so far to be there.

      I'll try to be positive.

      #13 Banana11

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        Posted 02 September 2008 - 08:43 PM

        I completely understand why you feel sad about this. You do need to approach her about it. If you don't it will always be in the back of your mind and could end up negatively affecting your relationship in other ways. If you talk with her, I would do it face to face, and just say you were really sad that she didn't come to your shower and ask her why she wasn't able to? Especially after running into them at your FFIL's house, that's just not cool. If you are truly close your relationship should be able to withstand a conversation like this. And if she cares about you as much as you seem to care about her, she will want to make this right.

        #14 rodent


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          Posted 02 September 2008 - 09:49 PM

          maybe she was tired with all those activities. i personally don't like going to showers & I get out of them with any excuse I can use. I don't think it means I'm a bad friend or don't care about my friends. i just really don't enjoy showers. luckily I live out of state & can skip them all now.

          #15 Nitnylyin1

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            Posted 02 September 2008 - 10:01 PM

            I don't blame you Amy for being pissed. I would be also.
            I would definitely get together with her in person and discuss your feelings and find out her reason. At least this way she knows how hurt you are even if she doesn't really have a good reason. You'll feel better getting it off your chest I am sure.

            #16 kevsgirl

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              Posted 02 September 2008 - 10:09 PM

              I totally agree.
              It's awkward, but they should really answer for it.

              I'd just ask point-blank - Hope you had a great time camping - btw why didn't you make it to the shower? It looked as though you got back in time?

              That way she has to answer. And even if it's a bit accusatory, if she freaks you can backpedal by saying you were just really sad she wasn't there and you assumed they were on their way and were waiting to see her show up all night... that you were hurt, that's all and didn't understand.

              But don't give her a ready-made excuse. Wiat to see what she comes up with...

              #17 kerryjbrown

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                Posted 02 September 2008 - 10:13 PM

                I am so sorry Amaryllis! You have every right to feel upset. I would just simply let her know that she was missed and ask why she didn't stop by on her way home?

                #18 Kat81

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                  Posted 02 September 2008 - 10:49 PM

                  Maybe they came home early because she wasn't feeling well. I HATE showers. Baby showers, bridal showers... all of them. So, I know that if I was ill at all I wouldn't go. Just talk to her. Could be something silly like she had the flu.

                  #19 1elephant

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                    Posted 03 September 2008 - 04:40 AM

                    i don't think you should ask where she was - i think you should tell her flat out that you thought she'd try to make it and that you were sad when she didn't. make it about you and your feelings, rather than hers.

                    for the record, i hate showers too, but i'd be at my fsil's no matter what (even tho i don't love her).

                    #20 Kathie

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                      Posted 03 September 2008 - 08:50 AM

                      I agree with Lauren. Most of us don't like showers but we go because we care about the person. We all do things we don't want to do. That was just wrong for her not to go! I'm be pissed!

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