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LADIES!  HELP!

I will try to keep the background story as short as possible.

I asked my closest cousin/one of my best friends to be my maid of honor.  She had been living over seas for 3 years, and shortly after she came home I asked.  Things between us are not the same.......it has been 5 months since I asked her to stand by my side, and she has given me a bridal magazine, and I had to keep on her to check out the resort on-line when we confirmed!  Furthermore, she has said quite a number of hurtfull things to me and things I like to do with my life in the past few months (such as "who likes to go to stupid dinner parties? thats not my idea of a good time)"...when she was just at my house for one 2 weeks prior) and saying "I feel like I haven't done anything for your wedding..." which she hasn't, but more so, hasn't even shown an interest. 

I am scared I am going to be 7 months down the road and wish that I had done what I am feeling like doing, which is telling her this is not working out.  I always envisioned my maid of h. being oh so happy for me and wanting to be there to help/giving me ideas/being super excited to be involved.  I am not getting any of that.......  cry.gif

Would you make the hard decision to let her go......or would you suck it up?

We aren't even speaking at the moment after her comments on the weekend!!

I should also mention, she sat me down and asked if I was really in love or not!!  I was shocked! Everyone tells me all the time how happy we look together etc.  ???   She said she just wanted me to make sure I was doing the right thing....(after I had asked her to be MOH)

What would you do?

crybaby2.gif

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:)

Thanks!!! I feel better about the temperature now!  I was really worrying about that....but your right, once the dancing starts, it will be just fine...sweating for sure!

OH GOOD...glad they don't tear down right away...I would really like the cocktail reception there!  Yeah, and I guess the photo taking will be the entertainment.!  :)

 

Originally Posted by murmel View Post


 


 

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Oh my...I know what I would do...and because you are even sharing this with us...I think you know what you should do too.

 

It is YOUR wedding and you should in no way just "suck it up".  However its much easier for an outsider to suggest to dump her and find someone better.  Would you be willing to risk completely losing her as a friend?  You'd like to think that would never happen, but considering there is already some friction, it could be possible, and you'd have to be prepared for it.  Make sure you arent just mad about these recent events and forgetting about any qualities that made you chose her as your MOH to begin with.

 

Have you asked her if she really wants to be your MOH?  You could always turn it into her idea!  Its sneaky, but you could test the waters by saying "planning is about to start getting really hectic (name a few examples of what you'd want her to do) and I know how crazy busy you are and would completely understand if you'd rather be a bridesmaid (or just a guest)".   I think that is the route I would take if you are trying to keep your friendship.

 

Did she give a reason for asking if you are really in love???  That is such an insane thing to ask a best friend that just got engaged!!!

 

Do you have a back-up MOH?  In my 18 months of planning I was very surprised at the people that have helped me and been excited for me...and the ones that could care less.  Its definitely one way to find your true friends. 

 

Ok, I'll step out of my therapist chair now :)

 

Originally Posted by Mwise17 View Post

LADIES!  HELP!

I will try to keep the background story as short as possible.

I asked my closest cousin/one of my best friends to be my maid of honor.  She had been living over seas for 3 years, and shortly after she came home I asked.  Things between us are not the same.......it has been 5 months since I asked her to stand by my side, and she has given me a bridal magazine, and I had to keep on her to check out the resort on-line when we confirmed!  Furthermore, she has said quite a number of hurtfull things to me and things I like to do with my life in the past few months (such as "who likes to go to stupid dinner parties? thats not my idea of a good time)"...when she was just at my house for one 2 weeks prior) and saying "I feel like I haven't done anything for your wedding..." which she hasn't, but more so, hasn't even shown an interest. 

I am scared I am going to be 7 months down the road and wish that I had done what I am feeling like doing, which is telling her this is not working out.  I always envisioned my maid of h. being oh so happy for me and wanting to be there to help/giving me ideas/being super excited to be involved.  I am not getting any of that.......  cry.gif

Would you make the hard decision to let her go......or would you suck it up?

We aren't even speaking at the moment after her comments on the weekend!!

I should also mention, she sat me down and asked if I was really in love or not!!  I was shocked! Everyone tells me all the time how happy we look together etc.  ???   She said she just wanted me to make sure I was doing the right thing....(after I had asked her to be MOH)

What would you do?

crybaby2.gif



 

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Great advise Jaime for Mwise.  I agree with what she has said, and think that the "make it her idea" plan is genius! :o)

 

And Jaime, yes you can add things after.  I think you will just have to pay for it at the resort. 

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Do you have any pictures of the bouquets?  Do they look bad without the ribbon?  I didn't even think about that!!
 

Originally Posted by Chapa View Post

I asked to have my flowers tied with white ribbon and my bridesmaids with green ribbon and they are charging me $10 per bouquet. Does this sound correct to you girls? My WC said all bouquets are bound with a "very nice white plastic holder", but the picture doesn't show that of my bouquet which I picked off of their website. I want to make sure before I pay that.



 

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Does anyone know what forms of payment the resort takes when we want to purchase all the "extras" on site?  I didn't want to bring a lot of cash and didn't know if we could use a credit card?
 

Originally Posted by TLGnhci View Post

Great advise Jaime for Mwise.  I agree with what she has said, and think that the "make it her idea" plan is genius! :o)

 

And Jaime, yes you can add things after.  I think you will just have to pay for it at the resort. 



 

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Hey jazz04,

 

Can you tell me where you got your koozies?  I started looking a little online but couldn't really find a good website to order them from!

 

Thanks!

 

Originally Posted by jazz04 View Post

Here is my to do list! June is approaching so fast. I'm sure I have forgotten some things so let me know if you think of anything!

 

1) Grooms/groomsmen outfits

2) Dress alteration

3) Flower girl shoes

4) OOT bags (So far we have gotten koozies and advil packets but not sure what else we are including) and have not gotten the bags!

5) Finalize flowers

6) Choose menu

7) Decide on rehearsal dinner

8) Decide on cocktail party post ceremony?

9) Finalize invitations

10) Make iteneraries

11) Send out luggage tags (once guest are paid)

12) Makeup (do it myself or at the spa?)

13) Get wedding bands (in the works)

14) Make frames for reception tables

15) Find something for seating arrangements for reception

16) Guest wedding reception gifts?

17) Music

 

I'm sure there is much more I need to do!!!!



 

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Agreed with the ladies, I think it will come down to if you want to salvage the friendship or cut ties and move one. I have done both and though not a pleasant experience it is sometimes for the best. I learned one thing in the planning process. This is MY DAY and I am not going to do anything I do or do not want to do. It might be the only time in your life you allowed to get away with it

Originally Posted by TLGnhci View Post

Great advise Jaime for Mwise.  I agree with what she has said, and think that the "make it her idea" plan is genius! :o)

 

And Jaime, yes you can add things after.  I think you will just have to pay for it at the resort. 



 



I would like to know this as well!

Originally Posted by mrsgoose View Post


Does anyone know what forms of payment the resort takes when we want to purchase all the "extras" on site?  I didn't want to bring a lot of cash and didn't know if we could use a credit card?
 



 



 


Anybody know about the below?
 

Originally Posted by MaggieandJay View Post

Past Brides

 

When you used a IPOD nano for the sound system did you just use the Ipod USB cord to plug in?



 

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March 2011

gingerlover36 – March 26, 2011 (AB)

 

April 2011

dakotaAZ – April 2, 2011

KristyMichelle - April 3, 2011

Michele4172011  - April 17, 2011

gems2104 - April 19, 2011

Mahalo79 – April 25, 2011 (EDR Chapel/AS)

dlaroqu - April 28, 2011

Chapa – April 30, 2011

 

May 2011

TLGnhci – May 2, 2011

mmc1105 – May 6, 2011

JaimeCF2BR – May 7, 2011

Nikki O – May 7, 2011

amcferron – May 13, 2011

MaggieandJay – May 15, 2011

*Lyndsey* - May 17, 2011

beaz2be – May 27, 2011

Bigboponthebeach – May 28, 2011

melfaybik - May 28, 2011 AB

bryteyedbride - May 28th 2011

Vic0214 – May 31, 2011

 

June 2011

ginnigurl - June 4, 2011

Lovethebeach10 - June 5th 2011

gom4good - June 9th 2011

jazz04 – June 12, 2011

tundereha = June 12, 2011

Mrs Goose - June 25th 2011

 

July 2011

Stephanie July 3rd, 2011

karlaandmark July 19th 2011

LMMDC – July 23, 2011

Lynsey – July 25, 2011 (EDR)

LauraMInn - July 30, 2011 (AB)

 

August 2011

Herbie76 – August 2, 2011

Jwashing - August 6, 2011

 

October 2011

1106wedding - October 22, 2011

mwise17 - October 24,2011

 

November 2011

Jesse Nov 12, 2011

Nada Nov 15 2011

 

 February 2012

msmarmar123 – February 11, 2012 

 

April 2012

Kerry872 - April 11 2012  

 

May 2012

Jennabug May 5th 2012

Mnd3A - May 19 2012

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