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HELP!! FUTURE IN LAWS..sorry I need to vent~!!!


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#11 Chiquita

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    Posted 29 May 2008 - 02:23 PM

    I agree with everyone.. don't change your plans. Your FI has indicated that your parents are his family and he still wants the DW so you should continue with it. If going to the JP is fine by his parents then let them do that then you won't have to worry about them being a nuisance in Mexico..

    And speaking a foreign language in front of you is just so disrespectful and rude! Has your FI said anything to them about that?

    #12 twinkletoes

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      Posted 29 May 2008 - 03:05 PM

      Everyone has given great advice. I defitenly agree, DO NOT change your plans. If what you and your FI really want is a DW, then so be it. You will regret it in the end if you decide to change your mind.

      I too am dealing with FIL issues. At this point, no one on my FI's side has booked yet and we're 2 months away!!!

      Maybe they will come around, maybe not. But its ultimately about you and your FI beginning your new life together, not theres. Keep your head up.
      2 Hearts, 1 Love 08.08.08Punta Cana, D.R.

      #13 DanielleNDerek

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        Posted 29 May 2008 - 04:19 PM

        I don't think you should change your plans especially since your fi still wants to get married in Mexico. your fils are being really disrespectful to you. Always speaking in a different language so you can't be included in the convo and asking your fi why he isn't dating an asian girl right in front of you. That really crosses the line. It's pretty obvious that his family doesn't care if they are at the wedding. they are planning vacations, but can't make your wedding a their vacation. WTF That's really messed up. Your really sweet for thinking of your fi's feelings, but i think your better off without his family at your DW. I think they would ruin it for you IMHO.
        ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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        #14 Alyssa

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          Posted 29 May 2008 - 04:39 PM

          DO NOT CHANGE YOUR PLANS!!! especially for them - people who have shown no interest in developing a more meaningful relationship with you.

          I think the girls have given you great advice so far!

          #15 Maura

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          Posted 29 May 2008 - 05:03 PM

          dont change your plans. im telling you now - only do what you and your FI want for your wedding or you'll regret it later.

          my FILs speak a different native language than me, but they bend over backwards trying to always accomodate me and speak to me in english even though i speak spanish! so its not some cultural thing - it's a bullshit excuse is what it is. if people want to get to know you they will -- the "cultural" excuse is just a barrier they are putting up because you dont fit their ideal standard for a wife because you arent laotian. fuck them, why do they think they have a right to choose their son's wife?

          #16 stacey

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            Posted 29 May 2008 - 05:06 PM

            That is very unfortunate. They are being childish and rude. It shows very little class to talk about someone in a diffrent language. That really shows how little they respect your FI. Their is no way that you should change your plans for them, changing your plans will not make them liike you any more.
            Stacey & Ely 10.14.2008

            #17 monicaswave

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              Posted 29 May 2008 - 05:18 PM

              It really sucks you have to go through this. I think you should stick to your plan and do a DW wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if at the last minute his family changes their mind and get tickets to go. I have heard many many stories where one set of parents didn't really want to go for whatever reason and changed their mind as the date got closer.

              Besides, if they don't show and they end up going to a differnet location for vacation that year it would really make them look like asses. How would they look if his family and friends get invitations to your wedding and people do not see them there?

              Oh and by the way....I also agree that it's a bunch of BS that whole "cultural thing." My FI is also asian and I'm hispanic and his parents have never ever made me feel like an outsider. I truly feel blessed that they have welcomed me to their family with open arms. At times his parents speak in his language since it's more comfortable for them but they always translate so I can understand what the conversation is about.

              In your case it sounds like his parents are bitter since he is not marrying the "asian" girl they were hoping for so they are taking out on you. I agree that even if you had your wedding at your local city they will still make it unbearable so just have your big day your way.

              #18 ericaandsy

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                Posted 29 May 2008 - 06:28 PM

                I just wanted to thank all of you who have posted on here. You all have been so supportive!! You deffinitly made me have a better day. I'm hoping my Fi's parents change their mind for his sake. If not, it's their problem. I am so fed up. If they decide not to join us they will have the regret to live with. Thank you again, and I will make sure to keep you updated on the drama!!

                #19 ericaandsy

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                  Posted 29 May 2008 - 06:31 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Chiquita
                  I agree with everyone.. don't change your plans. Your FI has indicated that your parents are his family and he still wants the DW so you should continue with it. If going to the JP is fine by his parents then let them do that then you won't have to worry about them being a nuisance in Mexico..

                  And speaking a foreign language in front of you is just so disrespectful and rude! Has your FI said anything to them about that?
                  Yes he has told his parents over and over to try and speak more english in front of me...sometimes they do but it doesn't last long. I've tried learning the language....BUT it's really hard learning a 3rd language since I'm already fluent in spanish. GRRRR!!

                  #20 Lex

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                    Posted 29 May 2008 - 07:14 PM

                    Definitely do not change your plans!!

                    It almost seems as though they would be acting this way *wherever* the wedding would take place, so it's not worth changing the plans you have set forth for yourselves to make you happy on *YOUR* day.

                    I know exactly what you're going through with the parents speaking another language and laughing when you're around (my ex's parents did the same) and it's a very difficult situation

                    I think you're doing a good job trying to keep the peace no matter how hard it is for you!

                    But stick with your guns and dont change plans unless YOU want to




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