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Ready to kill the MOH

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#11 Maura


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Posted 28 May 2008 - 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by nikkianddean
She is working on a very tight deadline to get married before the year is up.
nikki, whats with her "deadline" to get married?

#12 becks



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Posted 28 May 2008 - 07:16 AM

I'm wondering what her rush is as well. Not that I'm one to ask - we'll be married less than 8 months from when we got engaged, but your MOH is looking at 5.5 - 6 months, which does seem rather hurried.

That being said, she's getting married 4 months before you, so I don't see any reason that it should infringe on your day.

But if I were a betting girl, I'd assume you won't have too much support/assistance from her until at least December. Best to let your other bridesmaids know that you may be relying on them more than you'd initially planned.

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#13 JennyK

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    Posted 28 May 2008 - 09:09 AM

    dang Bridezilla!


    Yea I wouldn't be too upset unless she couldn't perform her duties as your MOH or said now that she couldn't be in your wedding. You can consider her wedding something fun to do around your birthday. One of my BM's birthday is the day I get married so I'm pumping her up that my wedding is her b-day getaway from Jersey lol

    #14 Copita

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      Posted 28 May 2008 - 09:13 AM

      I don't think it's that big of a deal.
      I mean, it does suck that it's on your bday weekend but if you didn't have a major fiesta planned then it's not inconsiderate of her, IMO.
      She's prob just excited to get married already and as long as she doesn't cancel on you or plan her wedding THE SAME weekend as yours, then it's all good.
      Just be happy for her. :)

      But I do agree with you that what she did last year on your bday, having you change the date to fit her schedule and then didn't bother to shwo was SUPER assy of her! Not cool, IMO.

      #15 Hartyt509

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        Posted 28 May 2008 - 01:45 PM

        Maybe its me but I just don't get why you're upset

        If she does pick your birthday weekend for her wedding then I'm sure its not to just upset your day or naff you off but that its the best date for her and her FI.

        My friend as me to change my wedding date to avoid her son's birthday and school terms - I personally told her to shove off!!

        As for MOH duties I'm sure you could dish some of them out to other BMs if she is struggling with planning her own wedding also

        I don't mean to be rude but I think you just need to get over it lol cause trust me worse is gonna happen lol

        #16 DreaW

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          Posted 28 May 2008 - 01:48 PM

          Nikkie is this your friend that I met at Disneyland?

          #17 jajajaja

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            Posted 28 May 2008 - 02:28 PM

            I can see where you are coming from, but in the big picture, I think it's also a little unfair to expect friends/family members to plan their big events around our big events. Yes your wedding is VERY important but if they want to get married soon, I think it's unreasonable to make her wait just because you got engaged first.

            I'm glad you had the opportunity to vent and now you are kinda seeing that your intial reaction may have been a bit off base. I'm sure you are super stressed and I'm sure it doesn't take much to make you even more stressed. I've def been there.

            I also don't always get all this talk on this forum of MOH duties and their responsibilities. I mean yes, traditionally they are suppose to plan showers/bachelorette parties but I also think it's somewhat unfair of the bride to be pissed if they don't. It's like telling someone to throw you a bday party and then get mad when they don't jump at the opportunity to celebrate you. I hope this isn't coming out wrong, but I just think it's sometimes silly to get all worked up over people's responsibilities in the wedding. I didn't expect our bridal people to do anything but show up and be happy. And to hopefully not bitch along the way. :) That's just me though. I hardly ask people to help me with anything.

            I think this is a good opportunity for your MOH to learn how to be a better MOH and offer you the emotional support as well. She will know the pressures you are going through as a bride because she has just went through it herself. That's why this forum is so great- other brides get it. People in our lives usually don't because they either haven't been there or they forgot.
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            #18 Maura


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            Posted 28 May 2008 - 02:40 PM

            well said rach :)

            #19 Kat81

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              Posted 28 May 2008 - 02:43 PM

              I agree with Rachel. My MOH lives in Cali... there isn't much she can do from there other than we talk on the phone a couple times a week and I catch her up on stuff. She won't even be throwing my Bridal shower (if I have one) but I guess that stuff doesn't matter to me. I picked these girls to stand up with me at the alter because I couldn't see my life without them and I want them to be with me every step of the way. Not because the are creative and can throw the best shower or will call me on a daily basis to see what I am doing and how I am doing it. OK that is totally not what this thread is about.... so I am done ranting.
              Back to you...
              I think I would initially be upset too. Only because I would be jealous she was getting married first. Once I stopped and thought about it though how amazing is this? You all are getting married so close together and are starting your lives together. FUN FUN and most people don't know how to help or care enough to listen unless they have planned a wedding or been through one. This will make her a better friend and shoulder to lean on.

              #20 Ava

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                Posted 28 May 2008 - 03:23 PM

                I agree with Rachel too.
                My MOH is in England, I'm in Canada. She's flying here first to throw the hens night, but that is on her insistance. I want her there because she is my best friend, not because she can help with everything.

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