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To Have or Not to Have a Bridal Party

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30 replies to this topic

#1 SgtPepperette

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    Posted 09 May 2008 - 12:24 PM

    So as my planning is starting the subject of bridal party came up. With a DW, I dont expect many people to come. But when I think about it, it would be nice to have someone there as my MOH. If we did chose a bridal party, it would just be a MOH/BM.

    Sadly though, when I relflect on the people in my life, no one comes to mind as my MOH. I have friends, but not one of those best friends, ya know?

    I also have been in quite a few weddings, and seen many friendships end. I know sometimes its unavoidable, but I just want everyone to be relaxed, and not get to a point like that.

    Anyhoo, from what I read on previous posts, I saw that some people wait to see whos booked and than decide from those people if they want a bridal party. That sounds like a good idea in my situation. No pressure that way.

    Although we may just have our parents there as the only guests, so I may be worrying to much about something might not be happening. LOL

    But wondered if you would share some of your experiences with me.

    #2 jajajaja

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      Posted 09 May 2008 - 12:31 PM

      If you have no one that you think of as a MOH or BM, I personally would skip it- just my opinion though. Only you can decide this. We have all learned the hard way that sometimes having a bridal party is like babysitting unruly toddlers. They complain about their attire, won't go get measured for it, or help choose something. Or they don't book in a timely fashion and you have to stress over that.

      Personally, I didn't have much issues with my bridal party- besides a bit of complaining about attire but that was it. It was worth it in the end for me to have my best friends stand next to me. But if you don't have anyone that you can truly see as being part of your bridal party, I would skip it. It's not worth all the stress just to have some people stand next to you just to follow tradition. Many DW have no bridal parties.
      Happily married since 2008

      #3 stefnicole

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        Posted 09 May 2008 - 12:39 PM

        We're not having one. My best friend could have been my MOH but Bryce doesn't have anyone he thinks of as a BM. So, instead my best friend is for sure coming and she mentioned that she wants to have a shower (I'm resisting, but I know I'll end up caving in). So, in essence, she's kind of my MOH, without having to worry about attire or the other details.

        Our wedding is going to be pretty informal and I figured since I was going with a DW anyway, why not go against tradition and just do it however I want.

        I don't think I really answered your question, but there's my 2 cents.

        #4 Debs

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          Posted 09 May 2008 - 12:40 PM

          Chris had his best friend stand up with him during the ceremony. My best girlfriend from public school days came down and her daughter was my flower girl.

          To make a long story short, she did not walk down the aisle with me, she didn't stand beside me, but she did sign the register. There was only a total of 10 people down there so why go through the fuss? It worked out just fine for us.

          #5 rodent


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            Posted 09 May 2008 - 01:13 PM

            I was going to take the wait to see who books approach. Then we decided just to skip it. I am really glad we did. I would have a hard time picking a MOH. I'm so close to several girls but in unique ways i can't pinpoint one to make MOH. So I just picked 9 honorary bridesmaids & made them all a silly photo present with a sweet letter. Most can't make it to the wedding, but this was a way to let them know I care.

            I really couldn't be happier with our decision for no bridal party. It has elimintaed a huge sorce of stress for most brides. Even if things go smoothly, there is a lot of work involved.

            with less than 2 months to go, I can say it's been pretty close to stress free planning this wedding.

            #6 nikkianddean

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              Posted 09 May 2008 - 01:19 PM

              I would say if you are not feeling like anyone is jumping out at you then you should skip it all together. That way your wedding remains the same way you envisioned it. I say stick to your guns!!!

              Mr. & Mrs. C
              February 14, 2009

              #7 Hartyt509

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                Posted 09 May 2008 - 01:37 PM

                I'd skip it, we aren't having one my best mate is being a PITA and is rapidly getting on my fired from being a friend list lol its just less stress and you don't have to worry about putting someone's nose out of joint

                #8 Bride010101

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                  Posted 09 May 2008 - 02:29 PM

                  That's a tough one.

                  We have a bridal party... but it seems to be changing monthly. I sometimes wish we would have skipped it, or just kept it to our siblings who we know are coming (my 2 sisters, my brother and his brother). It's the additional friends that have been problematic with the whole dropping (or potentially) dropping out of the party due to cost.

                  If possible, I would agree that waiting until they book would be a great idea. That is one thing I wished we would have done.... we didn't ask until people verbally told us they would be coming. But now that its closer to having to actually put money down, friends are having second thoughts.

                  Looking back though, even with all the hassles and switching around I am happy we are having one. I guess, I personally always have imagined having one and think it will complete the day. We love everyone in our party and are excited to have them share in our day. It's defintely more work and stress, but for us I think its worth it. We'll see what I'm saying next January though ; )

                  #9 frazali

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                    Posted 09 May 2008 - 02:39 PM

                    SgtPepperette - so glad that you posted this. This is my second wedding, FI's first. I had a total of 1 MOH and 4 bridesmaids for my first wedding. This time around, I don't want to have any (aside from the fact that I don't feel comfortable asking anyone to take on the role again). FI will have his brother. I may ask my brother to stand with me, but he won't have an official title.

                    #10 FYB87

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                      Posted 09 May 2008 - 03:14 PM

                      The first time I was married I didn't have any and I won't this time either. I dont' have any females that I would even consider to be MOH or BM's because I don't have anyone that I think of as a best friend or friends. I don't have sisters (only brothers) so I'm going to skip it. My mother does feel like I should have them and just pick family members. But, that is not something I am going to entertain. I hardly ever even talk to those people. Don't even live in the same state either. Don't think I answered your question. But, that's what I'm doing!

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