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Destination second wedding guilt?

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#11 jajajaja

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    Posted 02 May 2008 - 03:54 PM

    Thank you for saying this Karen. My thoughts exactly. Even if it's the 4th wedding, it's still cause to celebrate. If others have a problem with it, that's their choice.
    Happily married since 2008

    #12 Karen

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      Posted 02 May 2008 - 04:12 PM

      Originally Posted by LC_Rachel
      Thank you for saying this Karen. My thoughts exactly. Even if it's the 4th wedding, it's still cause to celebrate. If others have a problem with it, that's their choice.
      Exactly!! Never in a million years did I ever think I would be divorced. Never! Your friends and family know the hills and valleys of your life and should want to celebrate with you no matter what. I have to say there was something pretty cool about being an experianced bride. I knew more about what I wanted from a marriage and I knew what I wanted to avoid regarding wedding stress. I got to experiance things this time that I didn't the first time like having a DW, having a bachelorette party, and an engagement party. We didn't have a shower because we were eloping. But i digress. Shout it from the roof tops that love has prevailed!!! Be proud and happy! don't feel guilty.
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      #13 frazali

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        Posted 07 May 2008 - 05:49 PM

        I just want to thank you guys so so so much for writing what you did. It is such a relief to hear that others are having/have had the same experience, and even more importantly that we should all do what we want since it is our wedding!

        Thanks again, and good luck with your planning!

        #14 Debs

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          Posted 07 May 2008 - 06:43 PM

          The people who REALLY want to be there to celebrate with you will find a way. Others will not. That's just the way it is.

          Turns out most of our 'friends' who were excited to find out we were getting married were more interested in the party and free booze than the fact that we were getting married and dedicating our lives to each other. Our priority was to go away together for a honeymoon, as we have never even been away together.

          You have to set your priorities. Ours were clear from the get-go.

          What I really hated was the guilt trips my friends tried to put on Chris and I. Brutal.

          #15 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

          Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez
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            Posted 08 May 2008 - 02:04 PM

            The first time I married I was only 24. I was naive and I blinded by what I thought was "love". I divorced only two years after getting married. I was really disappointed and I did not think I would get married again because I was not trusting anymore and I really felt like I would not deserve another wedding, but I am so happy now with my fiance, Jose. It took me 6 years to truly meet the "Love of My Life" and I want to share our happines with everyone. A destination wedding will be perfect because only those are truly close will attend. I don't feel guilty because my friends and family are totally supportive and the people who are negative just won't be invited.If you found happiness again, you should not feel guilty. The people who really want to celebrate with you will attend so enjoy.

            #16 DanielleNDerek

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              Posted 08 May 2008 - 02:38 PM

              No one should feel guilty for having the wedding they want. You should get to celebrate your love however you want, your paying for it so your not putting anyone out. If someone wants to come and celebrate with you than great. They are getting a vacation out of it too. Not only am i having a dw but i've been to one too. I loved going, it was a great wedding and an awesome vacay. If i didn't want to go, i didn't have to.
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              #17 mrsmark08

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                Posted 08 May 2008 - 06:12 PM

                This is my 2nd wedding & FI's first. When we got engaged I was feeling guilt about having another "big" wedding. I too was too young to get married the 1st time had nothing but the best of expectations & was truly heartbroken when my ex left. Luckily, FI didn't really want a traditional wedding and since we were already living together we figured a DW was the way to go. We have great friends & family who all looked at the chance to go away for their wedding as an opportunity for all of us to spend time together. Family and friends that were thre the 1st time around are happy they can see me happy again too. I made it VERY clear that I didn't want this to be an obligation to anyone and hoped only those that wanted to join us would. We are having more guests than I anticipated, (50) and am very excited about that.

                I also didn't want FI to feel slighted by that fact that I was not wanting to have a big wedding. but a dw fit his expectations perfectly. So don't feel guilty, no one else will be thinking negatively!

                #18 LadyP

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                  Posted 08 May 2008 - 06:15 PM

                  It is my first and FH 2nd but we look at it as it is our first together. lol

                  IF the people want to come they will come even if it is your 90th wedding

                  #19 FYB87

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                    Posted 09 May 2008 - 01:47 PM

                    I say do what you guys want because it's your day. This is my second marriage and his first. I got married when I was 21 the first time and it only lasted 4 years. Only his family attended since my family was dead against it. So now that I found my "true" love we are doing everything and the way we want. But, all of my family and friends are excited and they can't wait to come. I don't have family that even lives in the same state as I do so they have to travel anyway. At least they can go to the DR and have a great vacation as well instead of coming to a wedding here in Texas and not having that much to do!

                    #20 BarefootBride

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                      Posted 10 May 2008 - 09:17 AM

                      Originally Posted by lucky k72
                      I got to say I can't stand the mentality that a second wedding should be treated as a lesser affair and as not of big of a deal as a first wedding.
                      I second that!!!

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