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JennyK

I need advice - annoying ex of FI

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I'm super late but everyone has given you good advice and I'm glad you guys had a talk. Civility is always best, especially since you have to deal with her all the time. Hopefully nothing will get out of hand, but if it does just remember that it is FI's job to set boundaries. Good luck w/everything!

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Originally Posted by Nrvsbride View Post
I'm super late but everyone has given you good advice and I'm glad you guys had a talk. Civility is always best, especially since you have to deal with her all the time. Hopefully nothing will get out of hand, but if it does just remember that it is FI's job to set boundaries. Good luck w/everything!
Thanks! We'll see how it goes 'cuz I'm sure he got in touch with her today.. we're trying to get it over with before Saturday's wedding. He's convinced she's sitting at our table.. I hope to god shes not but oh well.

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You know what if she's going to go through all the trouble of trying to sabatogage why don't you go through the trouble of being fake. Normally I think this is immature and I would never condone this kind of behavior but it seems like you are stuck with her. Why not see her at the wedding and be all buddy-buddy with her?

 

She probably likes seeing you squirm so if you act all friendly with her it might drive her even more insane. And once she sees it doesn't bother you anymore it might deter her from always being all over him.

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I agree with most of the adivce you got above. And like PenMarie said, you dont' need to have a sitdown at dinner with her.

 

She knew exactly what she was doing during all those altercations. She was trying to claim her territory over your fi and doing it just to get under your skin. What a bitch!!! F Her. I'm sorry but she sounds like she did some pretty crappy things for you and FI really should of put her in her place. It's not your job to explain to her about what she did, it's his job. She's his friend and if he wants to be friends with her he needs to set her straight, not you.

 

Goodluck with the situation.

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Originally Posted by JennyK View Post
HE actually brought it up last night before I got the chance. We faught about it a bit (him claiming that girls are caddy lol) but we came to the conclusion to be civil with her. He said obviously he won't be friends with her, he just doesn't want to feel uncomfortable if she happens to be where we are.. I'm fine with civil. I'm not an evil person so I can't be completely mean about it..
Doh - I just saw this post, that's great. Goodluck on Saturday. Enjoy yourself and dont' worry about her.

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Originally Posted by Nrvsbride View Post
You know what if she's going to go through all the trouble of trying to sabatogage why don't you go through the trouble of being fake. Normally I think this is immature and I would never condone this kind of behavior but it seems like you are stuck with her. Why not see her at the wedding and be all buddy-buddy with her?

She probably likes seeing you squirm so if you act all friendly with her it might drive her even more insane. And once she sees it doesn't bother you anymore it might deter her from always being all over him.
lol yea I told my FI that from here on in, even if we're civil and talk blah blah blah it'll always be fake on both our parts. But ya know..as long as it gets me through the night, I don't care. It's not like she's always around us or coming over our house.

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He talked to her today! He said that I wasn't gonna try to fight her at the wedding on saturday (LMAO) and that we want to be civil. I asked what SHE had to say. He said she said,"If we are going to eventually be friends again, Jen and I need to sit down and talk like adults and see what her apprehensions are." He explained to her my side and even said,"Well how would you feel if your bf was hanging out alone with another girl..you wouldn't feel comfortable." And she said,"Yea, you are right." So I'm happy. He took my feelings into consideration and told her how I felt about things and how to make ME comfortable.

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Ok, I didn't read everyone's comments because I couldn't wait to chime in here.

 

I am the ULTIMATE Conspiracy Theorist!!!! NEVER TRUST THIS GIRL, NO MATTER WHAT!!!! Even if you tell your FI that you're ok being civil with her. ALWAYS KNOW IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD THAT SHE'S PROBABLY UP TO NO GOOD!!!!

 

Have you considered talking to her? Maybe sit her down and have a talk and let her know you're on to her and her stupid games. That's definitely something I would do. I'm the type of person who doesn't care if I make someone feel awkward about stuff like this. Why should I always have to be the one to feel awkward. Tell her like it is.

 

Oh, and another thing . . . no matter what - don't let her think that her flirting with your FI gets to you. She'll just do it more. Play it cool around her but let FI know it's not cool and he needs to be respectful to you when it comes to her acting that way.

 

And lastly, if you want me to kick her ass, just let me know.

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Originally Posted by NYJen View Post
Ok, I didn't read everyone's comments because I couldn't wait to chime in here.

I am the ULTIMATE Conspiracy Theorist!!!! NEVER TRUST THIS GIRL, NO MATTER WHAT!!!! Even if you tell your FI that you're ok being civil with her. ALWAYS KNOW IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD THAT SHE'S PROBABLY UP TO NO GOOD!!!!

Have you considered talking to her? Maybe sit her down and have a talk and let her know you're on to her and her stupid games. That's definitely something I would do. I'm the type of person who doesn't care if I make someone feel awkward about stuff like this. Why should I always have to be the one to feel awkward. Tell her like it is.

Oh, and another thing . . . no matter what - don't let her think that her flirting with your FI gets to you. She'll just do it more. Play it cool around her but let FI know it's not cool and he needs to be respectful to you when it comes to her acting that way.

And lastly, if you want me to kick her ass, just let me know.
HAHAHA I love your last sentence. I've decided to be civil for the sake that she'll always be in our lives but I will never trust her. I have 2 eyes in the front, 4 in the back.

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