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dragonfly

husband vent

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That is so something FI would do!!! He makes me crazy! He doesn't want to hire a housekeeper because he thinks we (particularly me) should be able to handle the house work. 60 hours is a slow week for me! Plus training at the gym, wedding planning, etc...

 

I'm with Maura, I'd have the friend come over and have it be done. I'm sure Everton would be a little upset but I'm sure once he saw how excited Bria was he'd get over himself.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYJen View Post
Kelly, if I were you, I would just have the friend come do it and tell Everton to deal with it. Hey, it's your house too.
Everton already called D and told him not to come, the thing is E never, and i mean never get's upset about anything he is a whatever you want, kelly, is good with me kind of guy, so this is unusual about how strongly he feels about this, i will never get it, but this time i guess i have to except that a lost this battlesad.gif Whoa that is quite the run on sentence:)

Hey glad to see you back where have you been?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
Everton already called D and told him not to come, the thing is E never, and i mean never get's upset about anything he is a whatever you want, kelly, is good with me kind of guy, so this is unusual about how strongly he feels about this, i will never get it, but this time i guess i have to except that a lost this battlesad.gif Whoa that is quite the run on sentence:)

Hey glad to see you back where have you been?
You're a better woman than I am. I would have called the friend back and told him to come. And Brendan would have caved. LOL!!! But I see your point.

My computer died. I've been out of the loop for over 2 weeks. Crazy!!!

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Okay don't be mad but I'm taking Everton's side...kind of.

 

Men have egos just like the sky is blue, that's hard to get around. I don't know all the details but just from what you've shared I think he feels really really bad. He's been working his butt off, sick, and probably scared about his health and what is making him ill.

 

Then on top of that another man, a friend at that, is going to come into his home and take care of his family business since Everton obviously can't add that to the plate right now. I bet he wants to do it, but can't, and it has to make him feel like a little bit of a failure, you know?

 

I know his daughter should come first and he should just suck it up and let someone else give him the help that he needs, but maybe he wants to take care of his daughter himself...you know?

 

I'm going through something similar with a friend who is dying and she will not let people do things for her because she is so stubborn and wants to believe she can do them herself when she has the time and health...it is so frustrating so I feel your pain. Can you just let him have this one for now?

 

Or maybe set a time frame to appease everyone, like maybe a month, painting 15 minutes at a time? I just think Everton feels awful already (why do you think he is unusually upset?) and taking this from him won't help. Sorry if I offended and maybe I'm wrong, but men have feelings too and this isn't any easy time for him either...good luck :o)

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If he doesn't get it done this weekend like he's hoping, I'd take Bria and just let her "have at it" with painting and coloring on the wall in the meantime! :) She'd probably enjoy her own artwork, and if that doesn't motivate Everton to get it done the fastest and easiest way possible, I don't know what would! :)

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In theory I get where he's coming from...like, I understand the concepts. I just think it's silly. My suggestion was sorta what you already did - Make E call him and tell him 1) not to come paint and 2) exactly why he doesn't want him to come. Sometimes having to verbalize the silly feeling makes the person realize how silly the feeling really is.

Good call on picking your battles - in the grand scheme, this doesn't matter that much.

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That sounds really crazy! It has to be something more to this! What is the particular reason for not letting a friend come and paint! Maybe hes not tell you something. I would be pissed off too!

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Aye...yi...yi...what a headache these men can be with their pride!

 

Why don't you suggest that D come over and "Help" Everton paint the room so that he can get done quicker and still be able to possible squeeze in some family time?

 

My FI is SO the opposite! I used to get mad at him because he would pay the guys who maintain the greenbelt areas around our house to mow and edge OUR lawn!

 

I was like...why don't you get your ass out there and do it?? His reasoning was they had all the tools out and could get it done in 1/4 of the time. Which they did..they would come in like gangbusters and mow and trim the front and back yard in like less than 10 minutes!

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that is sooooo frustrating! Painting sucks. He should be excited about having someone else do it. I had to paint my entire house and if someone else was willing to do so i would have gladly handed over the paint brush.

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