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Are Save the Month cards acceptable instead of STD?

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#1 Virg

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    Posted 25 March 2008 - 05:57 PM

    Hello Ladies, I am in DIRE need of some advice about save the date (or Month) cards!

    My FI and I are planning a wedding for May 2009. Many travel agents have been telling us that we should not book our wedding, flight, etc until late summer or early fall, basically September or October. As many of the people we plan to invite are recent university graduates, we would like to give them as much time as possible to plan, save up $, and coordinate with work.

    What should we do?! I am so confused. Is it a faux pas to note indicate a date on the STD?

    Should we send out our STD without a specific day? Would it be bizarre?
    For example:
    " We are taking the plunge!
    Come join us in celebrating our
    love in the Mayan Riviera, Mexico. May 2009.
    Details and Invitiation to follow.
    www.weddingwedsite.com "

    OR should we just start our wedding website super early, and send it to all of our guests?

    Also, many of our guests are already aware that we are planning a destination wedding. However extended family does not.

    Am I just jumping the gun trying to get the STD out 10 months in advance? Every time I go to a travel agent and try to get prices they look at me like I am crazy for doing it this far out...

    Happily Ever After: June 1, 2006
    Made it legal : June 30, 2009


    #2 Martha

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      Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:00 PM

      I think in order for them to plan accordingly, they should have the date. Def. make a website and this can give them a heads up, but I would wait to send out STD cards until you have the actual date. Some people may not be able to get off work, have prior engagements, etc....

      #3 ACDCDCAC

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      Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:02 PM

      A- I don't think it's too early to book/pick a date. Some gals on the forum have done that well in advance of a year.
      B- If you don't pick a date until later, I see nothing wrong with sending a STM :) with May, 2009. Just make sure you are extra vigilant about keeping everyone informed as changes happen. The website is a great idea for this! Also, 6 months out, you could always send out a "reminder" letter or something to that effect. :)

      #4 katrina


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        Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:02 PM

        when we were in this situation, we bought our tickets anyway knowing that fi and i would be paying more than our guests. although that was annoying, i was more comfortable with eating the costs to have a set in stone date for our guests to work with. and honestly, i'm glad we did it this way. in my opinion, a save the month may be a waste of time because your just going to have to relay the message again once you're booked.

        but with that being said, do what will let you relax!!

        #5 DanielleNDerek

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          Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:11 PM

          We sent STD's a year out ahead of time, and people put deposits down 11 mos ahead of the wedding date. Which in our case they kinda had to, our resort just happens to have 3 conventions going on on 3 of the days our guests will be there, so our guests had to put deposits down to save their rooms.

          Part of me wishes we would of at least waited a few months for airfare to come out, but you can at least pic your date. and confirm your date is available with your resort. Our first two choices fo dates were booked so we had to go with our third choice and that was a year out. I wouldn't wait to long to at least get your date saved.
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          #6 A10CalGal

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            Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:23 PM

            I just received a vague STD...they had a date, but no location! It said something like "somewhere not too far from here". It's totally the couple - I wouldn't expect anything less from them.

            Point - I think some info is better than no info. Get it on people's minds with a save the month & then fill in the details on your wedding website.

            #7 rodent


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              Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:48 PM

              We got engaged in June & planned our wedding for to be 1 year away. I told close family & friends we were aiming for June 08 in Mexico when I called to tell them about the engagement.

              Once my wedding website was up in July, I emailed that to a bunch of people. I think I had on there we were shooting for June 21st, but it wasn't confirmed. Once it was confirmed I updated that on the website.

              We booked our trip about 9-8 months in advance. We actually got a good price compared to what it is now. That isn't always the case, but airfare has been going up lately with high gas prices. Some TAs can take the cost off your balance due if the price drops.

              We sent out STDs in September (9 months prior). I don't think we had booked our trip yet, but we had the date reserved at the hotel.

              #8 RaydensMama

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                Posted 25 March 2008 - 07:16 PM

                I think making website and stating the month and location is a better idea than sending save the month cards. Since most people work and have other things to deal with it would be pretty hard to know if you could go to the wedding without a clear date.

                #9 Bride010101

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                  Posted 25 March 2008 - 08:59 PM

                  Our STDs were more Save-The-Week. We were still waiting for the specific date confirmation (and the resort keptpushing back 2009 confirmations), but since it was less than a year away wanted to give people heads up. Plus we knew that no matter what it would happen sometime that week (are only option due to our student schedules). We included a letter explaining the date issue and in there gave the date we were aiming for (and our second choice). Now that it has been finalized we have spread notice via word of mouth and our website.

                  #10 Kristy!


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                    Posted 26 March 2008 - 11:39 AM

                    I understand dealing with May 2009!! I already have the villa booked where we'll be having the reception and staying (along with our immediate families and close friends) and the date is set in stone. Airfare cannot be booked until 330 days before the flight, but I'm not worried about that. Flights to St Lucia don't exactly fill up the first day. We're actually ditching the STDs and going for super early invitations. I hate how invitations just turn into a formality. If people need to know 10 months in advance so they can plan according, then I'm going to invite them 10 months in advance. I know many probably disagree with me on this, but if I'm going to work really hard on boarding pass invites, I want them to be more than just a formality.

                    Oops, sorry for the rant. Anyway, back to the point, I wouldn't bother sending out a save the month. I would wait until you have the actual date--and it's definitely not too early to set that. Don't let people make you think it is. And feel free to send out STDs as early as you want. No harm in that!

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