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My sis/BM is skipping our meeting...I am so hurt

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#1 Celina

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    Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:33 PM

    Hi Everyone,

    I emailed my sister earlier today (who is also my only BM) to tell her I gave her the wrong time to go to our appointment at David's Bridal this Saturday. I reiterated to her that afterwards we (me, her and my MOH) are going to my house to have lunch and to discuss wedding stuff. Keep in mind I told her of these plans three weeks ago so she could clear her calendar. Three weeks ago everything was fine.

    She e-mails me back and says she can only go to the appointment at David's and can not go to my house because she has a commitment at her church at 2:00.

    I am so hurt. Lately, her church takes all of her spare time. She has no job, has bible study all day Sunday and now her church plans are interfering with MY wedding plans! I have been looking forward to this "girls day" for a long time. I am SO HURT! I am on the verge of crying.

    Thanks for letting me blow off some steam.
    "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

    #2 AmyInMI

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      Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:45 PM

      Aww, I am sorry to hear you are so disappointed. I understand her church is important to her but maybe you should call her and see if there is a better time to meet instead, so you can show how important this is to you. Maybe she did not realize how much you were looking forward to the meeting. Good luck!
      Amy & Aaron
      May 10, 2008
      Dreams Tulum, Riviera Maya, Mexico

      #3 foxytv

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        Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:55 PM

        Can you meet before the David's appointment?

        I know how frustrating it is when people don't take your wedding plans as seriosuly as you do -- but I've learned from others on this forum, and the hard way on my own, that NOONE will think your wedding is anywhere NEAR as important as you do. This is something we do have to keep in perspective, although TRUST ME I know it can really be tough sometimes. I've been let down ssoo many times during my DW planning process that it's really stung.

        But hopefully you can explain to her that it's important to you that she be an active part of the planning process and will be able to adjust her schedule or be able to stand by her commitments more firmly in the future.

        #4 Christine

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        Posted 06 February 2008 - 07:03 PM

        I can understand how frustrating that can be, is there any way to arrange the appointments so she could possibly be there. Personally I would call her and see if there is anything you guys can work out about this.
        Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

        #5 melglnh2o

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          Posted 06 February 2008 - 07:07 PM

          Sorry to hear that you are so updet. I know how frustrating that can be. If it were up to me, I would be talking wedding every second of every day. Unfortunately, not everyone else is this way. Perhaps you guys could meet for breakfast and have wedding talk then.

          #6 dragonfly

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            Posted 06 February 2008 - 07:07 PM

            Could you call her and tell her how much you wanted to spend time with her? Maybe she just really doesn't understand how much this means to you. If she still doesn't come, I think you have to let it go, fighting with her is not going to make you feel better, it will just add drama that you don't need. Maybe plan a seperate sisters nite out later on to make up for the missed lunch. Remember our weddings are OUR most important committment, not everyone elses, and sometimes it suck's for us, but not worth lost relationships

            #7 Celina

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              Posted 07 February 2008 - 02:01 AM

              Hi guys,

              Thanks for the words of wisdom. I am really just disappointed. I called and cried it out with my MOH. She was very consoling too. I am just happy that at least she is coming down. My MOH lives 2 hours away, so we had to schedule it on Saturday for her because she has 3 kids, hubby works out of town and she has her oldest in school and doesn't want to be far from home on Sundays, so Saturday was the only day that works. Plus my sister has bible study & church on Sundays - so Sundays are automatically out for her.

              I just feel like my sister is just going through the motions. I feel like she is just going to wear the BM dress for show (if that makes sense), but doesn't want to do anything other than that.

              We'll see what transpires over the next couple of days or if she even calls to see what we were going to discuss. Like I said, I am just disappointed. She knew how much this meant to me and to tell me that she has commited herself to a church function 3 days out is a bunch of bull. I am just going to move forward without her. My best friend is here and that's why she is my MOH and my sister isn't. Sad but true.

              Thanks guys!
              "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

              #8 starchild



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                Posted 07 February 2008 - 03:30 AM

                Sorry, I know it's tough. And like everyone says, our weddings are only 100% important to us. It could be as Kelly says, maybe she doesn't realize what a big deal it is to you. Or (and I don't know your sister to say) but could there be the slightest bit of jealousy/resentment about your wedding? Weddings bring out crazy emotions in people, particularly people who are not married/in happy relationships. Maybe she is backing up because she is feeling weird about it?

                In any case, I understand the frustration because she is your sister. Good luck, at the very least your MOH rocks. Everything will work out :o)

                #9 BarefootBride

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                  Posted 07 February 2008 - 09:49 AM

                  Sorry to hear of this. I know you are disappointed. Would your wedding not be the same if she didnt show up at your meeting? Since she seems too busy, I wouldn't expect much from her. After all she is just your BM. So dont give her any responsibilities because there could be a chance that she wont follow through.
                  And the other girls are right, your wedding is more important to you than anyone else. I have been in at least 9 weddings and as the BM, I've been on the other side. And really, what I thought wasnt a big deal, really was to them.... so shes probably thinking the same thing.

                  #10 becks



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                    Posted 07 February 2008 - 10:32 AM

                    I'm sorry you're going thru all this. Personally, I'd suggest you call her and change plans for brunch before going to David's Bridal.

                    It's not exactly as you planned, and it would probably require MOH to leave her place earlier (so check with her first), but at least it will give you an opportunity to show your sister how important it is to you.

                    And if she still blows you off... you have your answer as to her priorities.

                    Happily married since 2008

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