Confessions

2) i am wearing my wedding-day underwear today. for whatever reason, that makes me smile.

2) i am wearing my wedding-day underwear today. for whatever reason, that makes me smile.

apologizing in advance because this will be long, and you guys are my personal therapy these days...

i am sure i have tons of little confessions, but my big one is that i hate my own family. they are always in my business, telling me what to do, judging me, etc etc, creating drama where there doesnt need to be any. i was just talking to my stepmom last night about how my FI's wonderful family must think i come from a pack of assholes. you all know about my crazy mom, to whom i'm not speaking, and i am not even gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole right now. most of you know about my controlling aunt throwing my shower, who isnt coming to my wedding, but is finishing her basement this year for $40K. then my aunt has the nerve to tell us where we should register so that everyone can afford to buy us gifts, because we "have fancy tastes" --- im sorry but when did i ever say i expected a gift from anyone? I dont! we registered for a wide range of things at 3 stores to try to hit all price points, i dont have to register anywhere she suggests, so why cant she just stop offering unsolicited advice?

my sister, who is my MOH, is just barely going to be 22 by the time of my wedding, and she is still in college and has ADD, bless her heart, and is on medications to control it. i have done my best to divide up requests among bridesmaids so my sister is not too burdened because i know she has a hard time with her class load. but she never returns my goddamn calls or emails about wedding stuff in a timely manner. in fact, the only time that my sister usually calls me is when SHE wants something. like for me to help her with her resume, or cover letters, or to edit a paper for a class of hers. i am not a fucking free editing service at her disposal whenever. i wish we were closer, but i feel like theres a lot of animosity because of her behavior, she is very selfish. my mom only perpetuates my sister's behavior by coddling her her entire life, so my sister doesnt know how to do anything on her own. she doesnt even have any idea how much of her college education is in student loans!

then this week, my dad has been bitching about the cost of my wedding, suggesting we call it off and do it at home because he doesnt want to pay to go -- says he cant afford to but he just put about $400 worth of upgrades into a laptop computer he BORROWED from me, and thinks now he doesnt have to give back because he paid for half of it in the first place when i went away to college almost 8 years ago, and he and my mom split all those costs 50/50. my dad has a nice photo printer, which is better than my printer at home, and I cant use my office printer because the cardstock for my STDs is too thick. so i asked him if i could use his printer, thinking well he isnt paying a dime for my wedding so the least he could do is let me print my stuff for my stds at his house --- then he f'ing tells me "well the ink is $80 per cartridge, so you'd have to replace it" ---ok yah dad, im gonna spend $80 to buy you new ink, the whole reason i asked was to avoid PAYING someone like kinkos to do it! OH! and btw, my dad has still not even applied for his passport yet!!!!!

another related confession: i recently told my stepmom that i wished she was my real mom, because she doesnt judge or manipulate me the way my mother does.

my poor FI, sometimes i dont even know why he still wants to marry me because my family is so screwed up.

my half sister is not speaking to my half brother (both from my dad's 1st marriage, so yes if you do the math, my dad is on his 3rd marriage), and they are supposed to room together at my wedding. i sent out an email to everyone in my family asking for their mailing addresses because i knew some people had recently moved and i didnt have the new address, and my sister wouldnt give me brothers new address because "she doesnt have it". im sorry, theyre both almost 40, please grow up.

ON THE OTHER HAND---
my FI's family is wonderful and loving and amazing. they arent crazy or too judgmental like my family is. they dont yell at each other. they're always kind. and generous. and never once made a single comment about how us doing a DW was going to cost them. and then on top of that, they offered to pay for the whole kit n caboodle. why can't my family be more like them? i am often jealous of FI because of how great his family is, but he doesnt really appreciate them that much.

i could go on and on...feeling a bit better though for getting all that off my chest. the ONLY wedding thing im stressed about is my stupid family and all the problems they cause! everything else basically has been smooth sailing compared to their bullshit.

Kelly - I can completely relate! DH and I have recently had some issues - to the point that he asked me if I was happy and all I could say was "I don't know". We have since had some good talks and things are getting better - but it's definitely a work in progress. Like Steph, I don't know the circumstances, but what I have learned from my experience is that guys are dumb. If there is something you need from him, tell him, because he honestly doesn't know that you need it - as much as you think he should "just know"! Talking it out has really helped us, and I hope things work out for you both too. It has been a stressful year for you guys, so maybe try & take a step back and ask if it's the stress, or if it's actually you guys. PM me, or msg me in FB if you want to talk more about it. You can even call me if you want! I wish you all the best sweetie.