Heavens to mergatroid!

Apologies ahead of time. Please pass the object around the sharing circle. I think I am close to the magical place called meltdown that I have been reading about. Apparently, if the bloggers are correct, I need to hit meltdown and then the epiphany will come. Maybe then I will find "the place."

Here's the thing of it. The resorts I like are well, dreamy. And yes, that means in the sense of unrealistic and fantastical all at once. The ones I could like I abhore instead. Pretty yes, elegant even, but do they think I am unaware that they are gauging the hell out of my day with their assorted fees and regulations!!! Did I say my? I mean our day. Actually my fiance's day...heaven's to mergatroid I have 10 guests of our 75+ (narrowed down to 60+ for the DW of course). Oh heck, he's adorable and people do adore him, me too, and I get to keep him. Suppose that's the bright side.

Anyhoo, back to my rant, errrm...I mean vent. The whole point of doing a DW was to get away from the NJ wedding factories...you know the ones (I should be careful here as not to tread on anyone that utilized the factory hardware). Oh well, here goes diarrhea of the keyboard...you know the ones, the ball rooms with carpet that is hideously patterned as to hide vomit and cheap wine stains, maybe a spillage of the "special", ie. putrid sauce that moistens the dry flap of meat they call a dinner, a $100 dinner at that. The ones where you meet the pre, post or ballroom C bride in the bathroom...ugh. And for all of that glory you have the honor of dishing out 40K. Lucky you who dared to mention the word "wedding" and show up in a white dress. Maybe I'll start calling places and telling them I'm planning a rather extravagent party for my 90 year old grandma. Maybe in my wildest of dreams I could pull that fast one one them. (Don't worry if I ever did it, I'd keep the price difference to myself as not to horrify anyone what we pay for the "W" word). But I've digressed. Is it me or is the DW turning into the new factory?

The packages...let me talk about the packages for just a moment here. Anyone else notice that 90% of your wedding package at a resort is crap you would get with your regular stay?? Turndown service, what? Welcome cool towel..Ooooo. Photo package that no one wants and an astronomical fee to bring your own vendors. Airport transfers that are inclusive normally and the best (woohoo Zoetry) the privilege to taste my wedding menu. Huh What do the menu cards really cost them. 10-15 cents each. Gee thanks. Unpacking service...I don't want much less need that. And the topper...complimentary anniversary night (when you pay for 4 nights at regular price...meaning off the website, small print...not to be used with any other discounted rates or specials, in other words will NEVER get used.

OK, I'm feeling slightly better now. A big thanks for anyone who had the wherewithall to read through this mess of frustration. Woh is me to have ovaries and be responsible to plan the "W" word.

Carefully steps off soapbox as not to scuff the most fabulous wedding heels and promises not to be such a gloomy guss in future posts. Just think, one day when we're old and in our diapies we will look back on our Del Sol or Elizabeth Medina pictures and smile. Not just b/c they are FABULOUS! Hello!, but b/c our grandkids can see how hot we were pre-wrinklage and gravity! (I swear when I get old and short I will have nudies of myself post-wedding bootcamp/starvation on the wall.) On that note...tootaloo.

First of all, I have never enjoyed a post as much as I enjoyed yours You should be a writer...a writer on behalf of all women who are up until 3am daily working on their DIY something or other when they have to be at work at 8am, trying to plan the perfect day with 8 million other opinions they don't remember asking for. Bitter? Me? Noooooooo

You want something to add to your post? How about $20 per flower...yes that's correct, for 1 flower... 1 flower bouquet anybody Any my package also includes "a special gift from the hotel"...gee thanks. When you upgrade, you have pool towels IN your room instead of down by the pool where you may actually use them. And how about waiting for somebody to reply to an email. Anybody? Anybody? Yes I understand being busy but once in a while, it really would be nice to get a reply so that we can move on to freak out over the next thing. Ah yes...destination wedding...cheaper, less stressful.... right

This has made my morning!!

Not because of your misery of course, but because every single word you spoke is the truth!!

Delete this and publish it...I'd pay to read more!!

You ladies brightend my day. Brought back memories of myself not 6 months ago. I will be creeping your posts from this day forwards in hope you will make me smile again.

Good luck ladies. Trust me it goes by sooo fast that you will be on here months after your wedding re-living your wedding woes through the brides to be.

Well said! I think you should start a blog, that way we could all follow your poetic wedding planning!

If you think this whole wedding planning thing is a rip off, have you ever bought a house from a builder?! Imagine the feeling x10! $260 per potlight?! Give me a break!

This totally made me smile... I think I did a little in person rant (lighthearted) of this similar sense to a girl who had gotten engaged just HOURS before... don't give me tequila.

$20 a flower, yep... I went through that. Oh and then, $300 per bridal bouquet and $400 per centerpiece... not including the vases. To rent the vases that's $10 each... what about votives you ask, for tealights? Yep those are $10 a piece as well.

I could go on and on

Did you know that all bdw users have blogs attached to their account where they can chronicle their wedding planning, post pics etc.

Oh Marak please do the blog. I just know I would get a real kick out of your stories.

Yes do blog you post made me chuckle

Ah gee....thanks ladies. Maybe I will if Tammy tells me how to make a blog happen. I'm not all that ept with these electronic boxes. I'm not all that consistent either...but I'll give it a go.

I have these outbursts from time to time, never considered documenting them. But come to think of it, I suppose I'm at the beginning of this yellow brick road, I'll have at least one spaz a day once the real planning starts.

$20 for 1 flower!!! On the freekin' equator EVEN! I'd sooner steal the tulips off my neighbors lawn and wax preserve them. The nerve. And yes, the "special gift"...let me guess, a bottle of your cheapest swill and 2 pieces of fruit from the local market.

...And way to steal the thunder Kittenheart! I feel bad for the poor girl, but that is pretty darn funny.

...amygirl, my fiance well knows negotiating is not one of my finer points. I'd go berserkers on a builder. I picked a hubby that negotiates for a living, so he'd handle that end.