Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:20 PM
Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:28 PM
I feel the same way hun you are not alone! I go back and forth everyday and sometimes feel like I want to cry because I feel horrible. My family dont have much money and many have never been out of the state let alone country. But heres the think you have to keep in mind...its your wedding so you have every right to be selfish!!!! you are not doing this to please your family you are doing this because this is what you want!
The reason I love destination weddings is it shows you the people who truly care for you. Those who really really love you will make magic happen to be there on your day.
Having a at home reception does defeat the whole purpose of saving money! The reason I chose a destination wedding is so i dont feel like I have to spend $100 per head for someone I haven't spoke to in years just because my mom would be offended if we didnt invite them! its just ridiculous....
A wedding is about you and you future husband starting your life together!!!! no one else!! and why should you have to put yourself in debt to throw a party to make every1 else happy?!
Sorry for the long reply!! haha
Good luck with everything! I hope you have the wedding of your dreams! ITS YOUR DAY!!
Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:30 PM
Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:36 PM
Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:42 PM
| Originally Posted by mnh1983 |
Just remember that your wedding is about YOU and that if you want to go to Mexico, you should! Having an AHR doesn't mean you have to spend tons of money. Have a BBQ or just finger foods or something, and have it at your house or in a park that you can rent cheaply.
Also I would invite EVERYONE to your DW... if they want to spend the money, let them come. then that way they can never come back to you and nag that they weren't even invited! besides, you might be surprised on how many people actually make the trip. It is your day and you should do what you guys want!
Posted 02 March 2010 - 04:42 PM
Many of your issues sound close to the same issues I had. My grandparents couldn't make it. That was hard on me too, but to put up with the craziness of an at home wedding was not a sacrafice I was willing to make. We tried to Skype with them, but the speed of the internet was slow, so they couldn't see the ceremony, but they did get to see me in my dress. My sister brought 2 of her 3 children, the youngest stayed home with her other grandparents. I invited all my cousins and aunts and uncles knowing most wouldn't make it and actually none of them made it.
I don't think anyone was initally excited about the idea and with only 6 months to plan it we didn't get that many people to show up, but those that did we knew really wanted to be there for us. It was perfect I don't think I'd change a thing.
My advice to you is to really decide what you want and who you want there and then go from there. If it's a deal breaker for you grandparents to be there, you might have to rethink the location. But just remember, your sister, your mom, etc. probably got the weddings they wanted and now it's your turn to maybe be a little selfish. They will either be there or not, but that won't change the love between you and your future husband.
We got married February 19th, so you picked a good date! :-)
Posted 02 March 2010 - 05:11 PM
Posted 02 March 2010 - 06:02 PM
The fact that we told him more than 2 years ago we were planning this aside. We've given everyone over a year's notice that we were planning this event so that if they would like to go they could. He continues to maintain that we purposefully kept him out of the loop and that we ought to be holding the wedding in canada. To be fair he is located in Hong kong so it IS alot more of an investment to come so we didn't really expect him to attend but would love and appreciate his prescence if he should choose to.
In the end we're just letting it be and will celebrate FI's brother's wedding with them even though they won't be attending ours.
To be honest we wouldn't be able to afford a regular wedding in the UK at the minute which is our main argument FOR a destination wedding. I don't think it's selfish as long as you make it clear that you would love to have everyone there but it's not necessarily practical. We are inviting extended family and if they can come ... GREAT, but in general we're pretty sure that's not going to happen.
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