Destination Wedding--selfish?

[CeeCee76]

All of you ladies make really good points. Our main decision behind a destination wedding is that neither one of us wanted a big wedding with lots of people, a reception, dancing, bridesmaid, groomsmen, etc. I never had a dream wedding in my head, but after going on several vacations in the Caribbean I felt like it was the way to go. When we told people our decision some people said they would come and others said they understand our decision and just want to see the beautiful pictures. FI and I truly expected it to just be us on our wedding day. No matter what the wedding industry tries to tell you, your wedding day is not about everyone else it is about you and FI. My Mom and Dad went to the courthouse in coordinating outfits and to this day they are happy with that decision and they are still married. My cousin is on her second marriage and wants to have a second expensive wedding. NOT ME! I’m blessed that no one in my family has called us selfish, maybe because they are just happy I’m actually getting married. I'm at old maid status. Ha Ha!

[jerzshortstuff]

Don't let people stress you out. It is your day and it should be the way you want it.

[*Meagan*]

I think every DW bride goes through this. People reject the unfamiliar. The day is about you and your future spouse committing yourselves to each other. Bottom line its your decision and no one elses.

 

I also say invite everyone to your DW. If they can come they will! We invited 200 people and had 20 and it was PERFECT!

 

We also had 3 parties/receptions for our big day and I dont think it was selfish at all. Actually everyone was happy that we did it that way and they were all able to be a part of it, no matter what!

[AishaB]

I have had the same problem and have been going back and forth about it. But I agree with the ladies, in the end it is what you want and what will make you both happy. If they come they come! As to the AHR, do something simple it doesnt have to be a sit down affair or renting a hall, it can be a backyard summer party, where everyone gets together, has a chance to meet the happy couple, eat some food and have a good time. I know that's what we plan to do. The cheaper the better.

[kitchenwitch]

I was in the same boat when I first began planning. My FI's expected the big fat Italian wedding with 300+ guests. AT firstthey were upset and said that we were missingout on all that money. But in the end, the saw how important it was for us to do it our way and to invite opur dearest and nearest.

[JenniferNicole]

Like the other girls have said, everyone goes through this... you just can't it get to you. The day is about you and your FI, do what you guys want!! In the end everyone who can make it will and they will all enjoy themselves.

[Girasole]

I always wanted to get married on the beach but this is my 2nd marriage & our first we had the big traditional wedding. Now, we wanted this to be about us. My parents were so mad at first but after a few months they realized that its more of a vacation to spend with us, rather than a big wedding. We looked at home & we would have spent double what we are spending now to have everything here & I didn't want to go into debt for a wedding. Do what's best for you and remember to have fun...it's about you & your FI.

[xtinamckee]

I am in the same boat... (no pun intended!) We are planning a Couples DW, which means adult couples only... No one in our families has ever taken a "real" vacation, and we'd like to share our first "real" vacation with them. My sister has come to realize that she will probably have more fun leaving her 2-year old daughter at home, and is looking forward to reconnecting with her husband (they never took a honeymoon). The only one really giving us much grief at this point is my stepmom. I have two stepbrothers (14 and 17). She is livid that we are excluding them from the celebration, and thinks we're being selfish and cruel. She has NEVER had a break from her kids, and we were thinking it would be nice for her and my dad to have some quality time together as well. Kind of a "second honeymoon" for everyone. I'm having a hard time knowing that she is mad at me for this, but it's what Ryan and I want, so we're sticking to our guns.

 

Stay strong ladies! It's our day!!

[cindyshininger]

As a Mom of a DW Bride, I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. She has always wanted to get married on a beach. It is HER day, and I get a vacation out of it Sorry you girls have had such hassles. We did have a few from my extended family, but I just told them that this is her wish for HER wedding. The new inlaws are not as excited, but they also have the option to go or not to go. Since they are not paying for any part of the wedding, I feel it is the decision is left to the happy couple. In laws are paying for their "vacation", but that is all. So that leaves the 20 people that are going willing to enjoy this time away and support the couple. I eloped and got ALOT of static, but I would not change a thing. It was about us, and our life together. Stick to your guns, just do it tactfully.

[Snickers]

I am a 2nd time bride to be in Sept 2010. We decided on a DW due to the fact we love to travel plus we did not want to spend oodles of money.

 

My first wedding was so stressful and really got out of hand. I vowed never to go through that again.

 

To me the real dream is basically just showing up with my dress and have an easy breezy ceremony with no worries.