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Who is paying for what?

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40 replies to this topic

#1 amandalovesryan

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    Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:32 PM

    So, we are getting married at ROR, we are having the free wedding. Our actual expenses include the steel drum band, the extra things like flowers, cake upgrade, attire, and rings. Oh, and travel of course! Both my parents and FI parents are financially okay. My parents are paying for travel for them, my little sis, her boyfriend, my bro, his wife, their 2 kids, FI, my grandma, and I. They are also paying for my dress, the steel drum band and the cake and flowers. I am sorta annoyed cause his parents did not offer to pay for anything. Shouldn't they? I feel like my parents are taking the total responsibility. His mom said to me something about how the groom's family typically pays for rehersal dinner. She then said, i guess you will not have a rehersal dinner. I told her about the other expenses. Am I being a brat for wanting them to call my parents and offer to pay for something? A phone call would make me happy. It is just really getting on my nerves! Thanks, in advance!
    My favorite type of vacation, a relaxing one!


    #2 amandalovesryan

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      Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:35 PM

      oh, and don't get me wrong, I am sooooooo thankful that my parents are paying for what they are! it is just annoying to me that there has not even been a phone call!
      My favorite type of vacation, a relaxing one!


      #3 foxytv

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        Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:37 PM

        I know what you mean. Is FH willing to ask if they will help out. I don't think they need to call your parents, but they perhaps could offere to the two of you to help out with something. Do they have the finances to be able to offer monetary help?

        My FH is paying for most of the wedding and travel for us. I am paying for what I can, but he makes 3x more than I do.

        However, he thinks MY parents should pay for our AHR. I expected he and I to pay for everything (although "he and I" really ends up being more him).

        My Mom and Dad paid for my dress and most of the OOT bag stuff.

        Other than that, both sets of parents are paying their own way for travel, but not anything else.

        #4 amandalovesryan

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          Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:40 PM

          They are totally okay financially to help. I think that they just don't know what is their responsibility. IMO it is better to make an effort than do nothing
          My favorite type of vacation, a relaxing one!


          #5 AlmostMrsForbes

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            Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:54 PM

            I'm kind of in the same boat. My dad is pretty much paying for everything - travel, honeymoon, dress, photog, oot bags, invites, etc. FI's mom mentioned something about a rehearsal dinner. I suggested to FI that his mom help with the reception dinner - as we're having it off-site. He's said he'll talk to her, but the time is getting short and nothing has happened yet. I'm pretty frustrated ... Like you, I just feel like his parents should also pitch in. Mine are doing everything!

            #6 Christine

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            Posted 13 January 2008 - 10:56 PM

            I think with DW's its different and no one really knows the rules, perhaps they would be willing to host a welcome dinner. I had my in-laws pay for our rehearsal/welcome dinner
            or if you don't want to do that what about a nice excursion for all your families to get to know each other, I know most things at an AI are included but I am sure there is something they could help out with.
            Also a thought they probably want to help they just don't know how to with it being a DW.
            Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

            #7 Saraha

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              Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:34 PM

              Im actually Kinda the opposite. My Future in laws are going above and beyond helping. They are paying for our entire AHR and are helping with a lot of other misc things. On the other hand, MY PARENTS havent lifted a finger financially or to help in anyway. I would never ask them to pay because we can afford it, but still I think its a little rude when my FI's parents are going above and beyonh what they should be doing... I dont know thats just my opinion.

              #8 LCBride2007


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                Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:38 PM

                see, i never even once considered the fact that anyone would help pay for anything - i mean, it's our wedding. we're the ones asking people to come to a different country to see us get married. don't get me wrong, everyone was super excited to come - but it did cost them some $$. so Paul and I paid for everything - but we never even thought about someone offering. i'm sure we would have happily taken it (duh! lol) but no one did. paul's parents did give us a generous ($5K) cash gift after the wedding, which was a surprise. i say just be grateful that you're getting the help, and don't hold a grudge! maybe they have no idea that you expect them to offer.

                #9 monicabrandon2008

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                  Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:38 PM

                  I just went through this with my best friend when I was her maid of honor 6 months ago.

                  She didn't have a DW but her parents paid for everything and the inlaws paid for the rehearsal dinner as they should. They weren't going to at first but her then FI had to talk to his parents.

                  You should have your FI talk to his parents and ask that they pay for a welcome dinner or something. That should fall under the rehearsal dinner rule that the grooms parents pay for that.
                  HIGH FIVE, WE'RE MARRIED!!!

                  #10 foxytv

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                    Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:46 PM

                    One more thing, I never expected our parents to pay for anything since they are paying their own way to our DW ... but evidently FH thinks differently.

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