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Rsvp Etiquette?


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#1 MissyR

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    Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:20 PM

    I am not sure what is most appropriate - We are getting married in November 2008 which we have communicated to 90% of the people we are inviting so we are not sending STDs. I have been working on the boarding pass invites which will go out in late January early February - which is along time ahead and we would like people to book with our TA in April.

    The issue is with the RSVP - Do I send an RSVP with the invite or ask people to go to our website? I know some people likely won't come but we are sending invites anyways and they aren't computer savy. If we do send RSVPs... what is reasonable to ask people to RSVP for a Nov 2008 wedding?

    We are also planning on sending out regular updates to people and updates through our website!

    #2 StephanieMN

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      Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:33 PM

      I guess I would send an RSVP postcard with the invite (cheaper postage) and also give people the option to rsvp on your website.

      You will find that you are going to get more "Maybe"s that you would like because most people don't plan that far in advance. We are finding this to be our issue right now. It would be great if you can get everyone to book by April but remember some people put things of until the last minute.
      We sent out our out of town invites and asked everyone to send them back by December 15th and we have 3 out of 13!

      #3 Janet

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        Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:36 PM

        This is a tough question. If you think 90% of the people know about the wedding, I think I'd send the invitations a little later. If you require an early RSVP, you will get a lot of "Yesses" from people who want to come but ultimately can't make it for some reason. The later you have the RSVP date, the more accurate it will be, I think.

        Whether you do the RSVPs online or thru the mail, some people will simply not reply and you will have to call them. Sucks, but true. We did ours completely online and I loved it! So it's possible to do, you'll just have to talk to the non-internet people in person or on the phone to get their answers.

        #4 MissyR

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          Posted 16 December 2007 - 07:39 PM

          True - But people still want all the info now which is sort of annoying - and I really don't want to send save the dates - I guess I could send out the invite in late-Jan early Feb and make the RSVP date later - and hope that people book sooner than later..

          #5 rodent

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            Posted 16 December 2007 - 08:48 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Melissa Radolli
            True - But people still want all the info now which is sort of annoying - and I really don't want to send save the dates - I guess I could send out the invite in late-Jan early Feb and make the RSVP date later - and hope that people book sooner than later..

            Why do you not want to do a save the date? I didn't want to because I didn't want that extra expense. I found out I could make 100 postcards for $11. Postage was only 26 cents. So I went ahead & did it. I'm glad i did, because now I know I've done enough to inform everyone. I put the webaddress on the postcard. All the details anyone could need are on the website.

            The other reason I didn't want to send STDs is because I did't want to seem pushy. I ended up wording them so people know there is no pressure. I just didn't want to shock people with "save the date- mexico."

            I am surprised people haven't booked yet. Just my family is booked and that's because I did it for them. Everyone talks about it, but no one does it. I was worried, but then i realized i've done all I can. I update the website on a regular basis & I sent STDs in August. It's fine with us if only our family goes so we'll just wait & see for everyone else.

            #6 Karen

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              Posted 16 December 2007 - 09:00 PM

              IMHO, I would wait on the invites. If you send them out too early, people are going to misplace them, forget to RSVP, etc. I would send those out 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding.

              I know that E-Vite does Save the Dates via e-mail. E-Vite does a great job and they are free! My bachelorette party e-vites were super cute! This would save you money and provide all the needed info to your guests including booking info...links to your TA, resort and tourist websites as well as your wedding invite.
              <center><embed src="http://www.widdlytin...nancyticker.swf" FlashVars="t1=Baby Lambert is on the way&b=7&c=0xCC00CC&f=5&y=2010&m=4&d=14" quality="high" wmode="transparent" width="430" height="115" name="Pregnancy Ticker" align="middle"...

              #7 Karen

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                Posted 16 December 2007 - 09:01 PM

                oh and you can get a working tally of guest responses (definites, maybes, and nos) from the e-vites!
                <center><embed src="http://www.widdlytin...nancyticker.swf" FlashVars="t1=Baby Lambert is on the way&b=7&c=0xCC00CC&f=5&y=2010&m=4&d=14" quality="high" wmode="transparent" width="430" height="115" name="Pregnancy Ticker" align="middle"...

                #8 MissyR

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                  Posted 16 December 2007 - 09:14 PM

                  I guess I am opposed to save the dates b/c of the amount of information and detail that is being included on the boarding passes - two passes with the information - our travel agent, and our wedsite etc. which is simply the same thing I would include for the invitation. I was originally going to use these as save the dates but then I realized that I would be sending the same info twice with the invites and the STDS.

                  #9 rodent

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                    Posted 16 December 2007 - 09:57 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Melissa Radolli
                    I guess I am opposed to save the dates b/c of the amount of information and detail that is being included on the boarding passes - two passes with the information - our travel agent, and our wedsite etc. which is simply the same thing I would include for the invitation. I was originally going to use these as save the dates but then I realized that I would be sending the same info twice with the invites and the STDS.

                    The STD can just have the date & website so it's not so redundant. If you don't want to send STDs it's deinfitly not madatory. You could even do a reverse thing. Send the invites now & then send a reminder-like thing later incase you are worried people misplaced everything. Maybe a newsletter.

                    #10 Christine

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                    Posted 16 December 2007 - 10:04 PM

                    we gave people both options, we included the prestamped RSVP traditional style and then also gave them our website and told them they could RSVP on the website. our wedding was in July and I sent the invites out in late March and asked for RSVP by the end of May.
                    Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!




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